Post # 31
As a final follow up, post wedding, just wanted to confirm she NEVER ended up giving me a special thank-you for anything I did throughout the wedding. LOL. Hanging up my maid of honour shoes and dropping the facade indefinitely. I am not putting any energy into this girl going forward. I’m so, so done.
Any fellow pushover types reading this, please please choose to deal with the awkwardness of detaching yourself rather than letting underserving people suck the energy from you. It f—ing sucks. Over and out.
Post # 32
Good thinking. I don’t believe you ever wanted to be fawned upon, just decently thanked and your efforts recognised. She did you a favour in a convoluted way lol.
Post # 33
Sorry that happened to you OP. Sometimes I find people are like this because they weren’t raised to know any better. My mom raised me to always write thank you notes and always be grateful for people doing things for me. Just had my wedding shower and I gave each hostess a gift with a thank you card. My future mother in law flew out to surprise me and I wrote her a heartfelt thank you card and mailed it to her when we got back.
Its just what I was raised to do. I wouldn’t be surprised if your sil just doesn’t know any better and doesn’t thank anyone much if at all. Did you get her a wedding gift? Did anyone else you know? I’d Ask them If she ever sent thank you notes because I would guess no.
In my experience when this happens it just reminds me how important it is to teach your children manners and I plan to pass that to my kids.
Post # 34
I personally was not “raised” to write thank you cards. I get that there’s a whole culture around that and it’s a lovely thing when done sincerely, but I am definitely not organized enough to keep up with that. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to give thanks. We all have phones… instagram, WhatsApp, texts! Or good old fashioned talking – expressing thanks in person, giving hugs! I do believe gratitude and humility is something you probably learn as a child… but I’m sure you can learn that as an adult too. At least enough to operate in a normal social setting. I hate making excuses for these people! I also don’t think it’s ok to act entitled to other’s time and energy and not bat an eye in person because you plan to put your sentiments on stationery later. I think that’s pretty shitty.
Post # 35
she said how excited she was, hugged and thanked you and everyone had a great time and it was clearly appreciated… what more could you possibly want?
sounds like your hankering for special praise or gifts etc… but its not a saintly act to throw a party, you chose to do this.
Not trying to be harsh but this just kind of makes you sound a bit self involved and high maintenance, you not suppose to do these things for unending praise and a gratitude its just a basic thing that millions of people do and non of its about you.