Post # 1
Member
19 posts
Newbee
I’m having a bit of a dilemma as far as deciding who should walk me down the aisle. Here’s some background info. My father, whom I love to death, was not a constant figure in my life. Although he won’t admit it, he is an alcoholic. He also claims to suffer from depression. His claims that his drinking is a result of traumatic experiences in his past. One that I know of, and others that he won’t speak to me about. He’s been homeless for pretty much the last 10 years, only recently being accepted into a program that provides him with an apartment. My dad loves and cares for me deeply, and tried to be a good father, but his addiction caused him to come up short.
My grandfather (maternal) on the the other hand, was there every step of the way. He made sure my sister and I were taken care of. We were raised by our single mother, and he helped her out a lot financially for the things that we needed. Some of my fondest childhood memories are with my grandfather.
I am getting married next fall, and I’m torn over which one I should have walk me down the aisle. I feel like either way someone’s going to get hurt. I know that traditionally the father gives the bride away, but that doesn’t fit everyone’s situation. My dad really did try his best, and I know if it were not for his issues, he would have been a better father. But my granddad was there, and was a great father figure.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation, or one on which someone other than your father gave you away?
Post # 3
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
I don’t have anybody to walk me down the aisle..:(
Post # 4
Hostess
5622 posts
Bee Keeper
My mother and her husband [techincally my step father, but he is the same age as my brother, and I do not see him as a father figure.. as they had married after I was grown], are walking me down the aisle.
My father will be recieving an invitation, but I am warning him that he won’t be walking me down the aisle.. he will have the option of declining to attend.
Me and my father have never been close, he suffered from many addictions when I was growing up.. mentally and physically abused me and my brothers, and always mentally abused my mother. Our living situation were horrid, and we were just a hot mess.
The best thing he ever did was walk out. I’ve seen him once since their divorce was final [over 10 years ago], and he sends me birthday cards, normally with the wrong birth date because he can’t remember what year I was born… [for instance, on my 21st birthday, he sent me a happy 16th, even though I was 16 the last time we seen each other!].
Me and my mother have always had our ups and downs, and sometimes I’m not always happy to be around her [and she is super pessimistic, pushy, and often times mean], but her and her husband have done more for me than my father has ever do, and have supported me in horrible times.
Post # 5
Hostess
5622 posts
Bee Keeper
Whoops, forgot to add that we will have to make the aisle larger to accommodate my mother, her husband and me in my really poofy ballgown.. but we are going to make it work!
Post # 6
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
Long story but I plan to walk alone.
BUT I don’t do well with all eyes on me, I keep having dreams I take off running in fear. So we are working on a couple plans, like my uncle comes and gets me if I panic. Or the groom does that too. Or even cousins/ushers step up too. But I am determained to walk alone! So as long as I can see my sweetie I should be fine!
Post # 7
Member
3146 posts
Sugar bee
My mom walked me down the aisle
Post # 8
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
I’m not married yet, but my Mum will be walking me down the aisle : )
Post # 9
Member
37 posts
Newbee
My brother is doing as my Dad’s a minister so he’s actually marrying us 
Originally my Mum was going to do it as my brother’s also a groomsman, but she really wanted to have that moment of seeing her son giving away her daughter, so I’m happy to give her that.
OP, how wide is your aisle? Could they both give you away? Or perhaps if your father gives you away, give your grandfather a speech at the reception (or the other way around) so that they both have their moment.
Post # 10
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
My mom and my step dad walked me down the aisle. My real dad got the first dance.
Post # 11
Member
19 posts
Newbee
Thank you all for your input.
@Jacquelinesc84: While I hope it doesn’t come down to that, I think it’s very sweet that they are going to be there to help you through it!
Post # 12
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
Both of my parents walked me down the aisle. If I was you, maybe have grandpa walk you down, or grandpa and mom.
Post # 13
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
I voted other – the groom and I walked in together.
Post # 14
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
@FutureMrsMonit: I had the same situation- I was thinking about asking my grandfather and then my mom got mad and insisted she walk me… I’ve decided to walk alone!
Post # 15
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
@FutureMrsMonit: My situation is very similar my dad (step dad) was my dad for years, BUT things came up later that seperated us quite apart. My other step dad passed away a couple years ago. I have 4 brothers (1 passed away) I’m not close too and even if they are able to make it (all 3 are out of state) I wouldn’t want them to walk me. I have a couple uncles that have played “dad” in my life. My Fiance, asked one uncle for my hand.
I decided to walk alone only in order not to offend or honor one more than the others. Keeps things neutral, to broken of an immediate family to cause any more damage over something like this.
I have 2 friends that married girls from the Phillipines there is a cultural thing that I REALLY Like that I plan to do in my own wedding. At the beginning of the wedding is the sitting of honored guest. They can be walk in either as a couple or with an usher. For instance, I will have his Elder Pastor & his wife walk in, my sisters and any brothers escorted in at the beginning of the ceremony. Also have my step dad, walk in by my niece. I have a couple people, it will be quick but still gives honor to those family members and family members in my life.
Hope that helps!
Jacqui
Post # 16
Hostess
7103 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@Glasgowbound: Same!
I would’ve had my Grandad to walk me down the aisle, but sadly he is no longer here.