(Closed) Did they not get my gift, or did they forget about thank yous?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Oribel013690: Honestly I would just wait for a little bit. Maybe they decided to do thank you/Christmas cards in one round instead of sending out both. We got married 3 months ago and just finished the majority of our thank you notes. We still have a few stragglers but its been hard. Life gets really crazy after the wedding and doesnt seem to slow down at all. I think you should assume they got your gift and expect that they will send you a thank you card – you just need to realize that etiquette might say “one month” but that is nearly impossible for most people to do so dont be offended!!!

Post # 4
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree with PitBull. Wait around until January–but come January, I think it’s fine to send a gentle casual email just to make sure they did, in fact, receive it. It’s possible that they a) didn’t OR b) something with the card/shipping info etc. got messed up and they got it but couldn’t figure out who it was from (which happens sometimes).

Post # 5
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think 3 months is reasonable. I went to a wedding where I gave a nice gift and NEVER got a thank you note. It’s been over a year, so I think they’ve had ample time. Quite honestly, it really hurt my feelings. I hope thank you notes haven’t gone out of style! People really appreciate them.

Post # 6
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yeah, i was a little peeved because I was waiting for a thank you card from a July 3rd wedding I attending.  It finally came last week, and I realized it took so long because they used their photographers collage of wedding photos on their thank you cards.  I was a little annoyed, I thought they either didn’t get our card, or weren’t sending thank you cards!!  I agree with @PitBulLover: they may just be killing two birds with one stone.

Post # 7
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i don’t know why multiple people (in real life) told me i had a year. it’s been about 3 months and i have gotten ZERO cards out. i suppose i’ll start writing them now.

Post # 9
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@pamplemousse: People say you have a year to give a gift (which according to some etiquette books is not, in fact, true but–) that’s for guests. You don’t have a whole year for thank-you notes!

Post # 10
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve always heard that you had a year to send out thank yous.

Post # 10
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The standard etiquette rule is one year to finish your thank you cards.  It’s also one year to give a wedding gift.  However, most people tend to send them out much sooner…others tend to take a lot longer.  Just be patient…hopefully they’ve just been busy, and you will get it soon enough.

Post # 11
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

what! why do guests get to wait a year to send a gift, but a bride can’t wait a year to send the card…dang it!  i find this to be injustice!  ok, fine, i’m lazy. but really.

Post # 12
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow.  I sent mine today and it’s been a month and a half since the wedding.  I felt bad because I thought I was so behind!

Post # 13
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@pamplemousse: It IS a year… Im not sure where the one month thing has come from but Ive seen it a lot on the boards…when we started planning our wedding this is something we discussed with our mothers and they both said we have up to a year after our wedding to both send thank yous and receive wedding gifts!

Post # 14
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

It’s totally rude of them not to send thank you notes, which they should already have done. But it would be totally rude of you to call to check up on it, so I’m afraid you’re stuck!

Post # 15
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think taking more than a month is for thank you cards unreasonable, especially if you have already cashed the cheques, or are using the gifts. I think it is in poor taste to be using something before you thank someone for it. We had our thank you cards sent out within 7 days of our wedding, and anything we got after the wedding, the card was sent out within 2 days of getting a gift.

ETA: I would way rather have a prompt thank you card on a plain card than one with your wedding photos on it!

The topic ‘Did they not get my gift, or did they forget about thank yous?’ is closed to new replies.

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