Did things change after marrying your live-in FI?

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
1983 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

Nope. Nothing has changed at all! We rented for two years then bought our first home more than a year before we got married. I really don’t feel that different being married, that said I wouldn’t have married Darling Husband without living with him first. Moving in together was the biggest learning curve for me. I’d only ever stayed at my ex boyfriend’s house a couple of nights a week and it never felt like mine. DH’s mum did everything for him so it took a lot of not so subtle hints and gentle nagging to realise that clothing didn’t magically wash itself and dinner didn’t just appear from nowhere. Also combining finances is a huge thing too and I’m glad we worked out that we were on the same page with saving vs spending, making sure bills are paid on time etc before we married. 

Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Even though we are only 6 weeks married, nothing so far has changed – and I absolutely LOVE that!

Post # 4
Member
9605 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

We lived together for 6 months before the wedding and were together for 8 years before getting married. Nothing felt different after our wedding day, nothing has changed about our relationship.

Post # 5
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

The only thing that changed was we joined bank accts whereas before we had separate accounts even though we lived together. 

Post # 6
Member
6522 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Only thing that changed for us was sex, lol.  Despite living together, we’d been waiting for practicality purposes, which no sane person does.  It’ll be two years in June and life goes on as it ever did.

Post # 7
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

We lived together for a year before being married. Nothing changed and it makes married life so much easier having been able to be adjusted to each other’s (small) habits.

Post # 8
Member
2636 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We were together about 9.5 years before getting married and had been living together for a little over 3 years by that stage, too. Marriage really didn’t change anything for us (I haven’t even changed my name yet although I do plan to!). It really just made official what we’ve already known for ages – we’re it for each other and plan to spend the rest of our lives together.

Post # 9
Hostess
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We lived together for about 18 months before we got married. I didn’t change my name. The only difference for us was opening a joint checking account and filing taxes jointly. 

In fact, when people asked “how’s married life?” like cornballs do when you’re newlyweds, I’d always say “it’s good – it’s the same as the shacking up life!”

Post # 10
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

We are 150 days from getting married, so obviously I’m on your side of things OP. But we’ve been living together for 6 out of the 8.5 years together… so I HIGHLY doubt anything will be changing for us. Although I did notice a change after us getting engaged, that felt like a real level up in our relationship 😜

Post # 11
Member
600 posts
Busy bee

The only thing that changed for me was this “feeling” that’s hard to describe. Even though we bought a house together previously, we never actually vowed to be 100% committed to one another. It just felt/feels secure and wonderful to never ever have to question whether your partner is in it for the long haul.

Post # 12
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Darling Husband and I lived together for 3 1/2 years and were together for 4 1/2 years before marriage. We have now been married about a year and a half. I have noticed a SMALL gradual change in the overall ‘vibe’…but nothing major has changed.

Post # 13
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

kcwilson11 :  I’m going to be the oddball and say yes. From a practical standpoint the only thing that changed was joint bank accounts, my last name, and estate planning type things. I noticed we make a better effort to be more thoughtful towards each other post marriage and our arguments are more fair. Knowing we’re stuck with each other gives us both pause before we blurt out something we’ll regret! Not that we didn’t make these efforts pre-marriage, but I notice it happens even more post-marriage. 

Post # 14
Member
1424 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Married since November but I haven’t noticed much a difference. Still in newlywed bliss mode 🙂

Post # 15
Member
3863 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

kcwilson11 :  Nothing has changed, but in the best possible way. It was absolutely awesome before the wedding and absolutely awesome after the wedding. I am a big supporter of living together prior to marriage. 

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