(Closed) Did wedding planning make you depressed…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That is so sad.  Planning is actually exciting for me.  I have too many people to invite and actually had a hard time cutting the list. 

Hope your friends can be apart of your big day.

Post # 4
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wedding planning does depress me. Not because of the lack of peeps but because it is a huge PITA!

Post # 5
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry you feel that way. Darling Husband and I didn’t used to have very many friends, which we talked about and sort of decided to make more. And we did! You can too! And it doesn’t have to be before the wedding. There’s always time to make friends. Your wedding will be one day. Just one day. Celebrate with the friends and family you do have. You will want to look back on your day with appreciation – not dissapointment. Try your best to consider all of the things you ARE happy about – like your FI!

Post # 6
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@leporidae:  It’s disappointing that my closest friends are spread out all over the country and won’t be able to help me as much as they would like. Still, they can offer advice and support via e-mail, Facebook, text, etc. Maybe your friends can do the same?

@trueblue14:  Date twin!! 🙂 Also, I read “PITA” as “pita,” ha ha!!

Post # 8
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

More stressed then drepressed…..ugh!

Post # 10
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I find myself perpetually overwhealmed. Like I wont open any of the wedding books/mags/emails people have sent me. I just want to elope at this point. 

Post # 13
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yes, so much sometimes.  

I alternate between feeling excited and feeling like a lame loser with no friends. 

I worry about making the “wrong” decision on anything and everything.

Sometimes I stress about it and feel pretty depressed.

I originally wanted to do a very small Destination Wedding (just me and him and our parents and maybe his siblings) – one of those package deals where everything is already arranged and you just show up, but it didn’t fly with my Fiance, so now I’m trying to plan something here in our city and it feels overwhelming.

Post # 14
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a lot of friends and great bridesmaids, however, at times I did find myself depressed and felt “alone” in my wedding planning. This did not really happen until about 4 weeks before the wedding when the s**t was about to hit the fan, nothing was done, no one knew what was going on, my mom was busy doing other things, and my friends were not giving me any special wedding attention. I finally realized that I was expecting too much of them. I got my stuff in order, started making plans with my friends and mom and it all worked out. I didn’t really start planning the details of my wedding until 4 months before (our venues were booked before that and I had ordered my dress, Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and tuxes but that was it). Any sooner than that and honestly people don’t really want to hear about it. In fact most people (aside from my fiance, bridesmaids, aunt and mom) didn’t really want to hear about it.

Post # 15
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think planning a wedding is one of life’s great reality checks, along with buying your first home, having your first child, and a few other milestones.  Wedding planning isn’t fun; it’s work. Otherwise we wouldn’t have to pay a planner to do it (if we’re lucky enough to be able to hire a planner— which I wasn’t).  And while some aspects of it can definitely be fun, it is quite tedious, with a lot of decisions to make, a lot of details to manage, and a lot of work to do.  It’s unrealistic to expect that any of our friends will be happy to take on that kind of responsibility and commitment; while we often do get a lot of help and excitement and emotional support from friends, truth be told, it’s a long process, and people burn out when it’s not their wedding.  It doesn’t help that everything coming out of Hollywood makes it seem like world plus dog can’t wait to come over and stuff Jordan almonds into wee dainty favor bags, either.  My advice on this: don’t be afraid to ask for help, but pick your battles. Save your help requests for those things where you truly need help, and don’t just want someone to keep you company; and pass the requests around. Don’t hit up the same 3 or 4 people over and over again. Don’t ask too far in advance and don’t bombard people with details on your planning.  And accept the No’s gracefully.

 

On the guest list, you have to adjust to “quality over quantity,” and embrace the fact that for so many reasons, a guest list of 70 people who truly adore you would be better than a guest list of 170, half of whom you can’t pick out of a lineup.  Bigger isn’t always better. And of those select few you choose to share your day, always remember that life sometimes gets in the way. There are financial reasons that may force someone to decline, conflicting schedules, prior commitments, and all sorts of other reasons that someone may choose to do something else on your wedding day rather than spend the day with you— and it doesn’t always mean they don’t love you.

Post # 16
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Mine sucked in that aspect too, I only invited 2 girl friends other than the 2 already in my bridal party, and one was out of the country so only 1 came. 

I say this, I went through lots and lots of friends throughout my life, and there’s reasons they are not here, and the ones that are here are like sisters to me, and that’s all that matters..

I don’t need 10 fake friends.  I’d rather have a handful of people I know would be there for me in a heartbeat.

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