(Closed) Did you always find your SO attractive?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

SittingWaitingWishing:  I met my Fiance online and i thought he was hot from his pics but he was hotter in the flesh.

I’ve always thought he was cute except for this 1 time he grew a beard that was not a good month haha

Post # 32
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

The first I saw of my husband was four pictures himself, none of which were particularly flattering or even recent. They were pictures of himself in action, like playing with a dog or doing a cannonball into a lake. I get that he was trying to show he’s an active person who enjoys doing stuff but I couldn’t really see what he looked like. This was on his dating website profile.

When we started talking online and over the phone and things started escalating, I asked him to show me recent pictures of himself. He sent me a bunch, and that’s when I decided I really liked what I saw.

Post # 33
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I met my husband online, and I met a few other guys before him. Unless I thought a guy’s face was hideous or his body type was too far off from what I like (which isn’t overly specific), if I liked what he had to say, I’d talk to him, and be open to meeting with him. When I found my husband’s profile, I wished he had clearer pictures, but I loved what he had to say, it seemed like we would hit it off really well, so I sent him a message. 2 weeks later I met him in person, and I had a great time on our first date but I wasn’t sure if the physical attraction was there for me, but I knew I wanted another date. At the beginning of our 2nd date, I felt so happy to see his handsome face, it was obvious (:

Post # 34
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Darling Husband and I met online, and I fell in love with his personality rather than appearance. He wasn’t hideous in his photos, but the man isn’t photogenic! He is much better looking in person.

My best friend also met her current boyfriend online. When I first saw pictures I wasn’t impressed. In person he was 100x better.

I definitely wouldn’t judge a guy on his pictures. Who knows how old the photos are and what the circumstance was. If he isn’t some beast and has a nice personality in chats, then I’d give it a shot.

Post # 35
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015


I met my Fiance online too! And I’ve always been physically attracted to him. He’s a looker!

I think it’s important to have a physical attraction as well as an emotional connection. My ex was not that attractive, but I was attracted to his persoanilty, so it didn’t both me. I found as time went on it bothered me more and more. I’m so happy I’m with someone I’m attracted to in every way possible!

Post # 36
256 posts
Helper bee

SittingWaitingWishing:  I met my SO on okcupid! I was on there for 5 months and I only went on two dates. I suggest being choosy in who you reply to and only really engaging with guys you think are “okay looking” to “smoking hot.”

Like a lot of other said, a lot of people look better or worse than their pictures. 

I know there is a lot to be said for “falling for someone’s personality” but, to me, both physical and mental attraction have to be there. So in the beginning I made the mistake of extensively talking to a few guys I was in ABSOLUTELY NO WAY attracted to, then they started to like me and I had to tell them I only wanted to be friends. :/ That part kind of sucked so I stopped doing it.

But to answer your initial question. My current SO I thought was smokin’ hot right from the get-go and have ever since. We’ve been together a year now. So thankful for online dating 🙂

Good luck finding someone!

Post # 37
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I was mostly impressed by the cojones his displayed when he sent me this long unpunctuated, uncapitalized message about how he’s so weird and I seem like I’m weird too. There was one comma. In a place where there shouldn’t have been a comma. I stated in my profile that bad grammar is a pet peeve of mine.

Then when I checked out his profile, I couldn’t place a finger on him. In one picture, he had on Hot Topic bondage pants (and a giant dalmatian he was playing with concealed half his face lol), and then in the next picture he was wearing Navy dress blues and stuffing his face with a doughnut.

I thought to myself, is this guy a goth or is he in the military? It turns out, he was both and the two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.

Also, in all the pictures, there was something keeping me from really seeing what his face looked like.

I think all of this intrigued me, I wanted to learn more. I wanted to learn what was going on with this guy. I wanted to know what he looked like, because from what I could initially see, he looked like he was probably cute.


Post # 38
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I didn’t meet my husband online, but I did a lot of online dating (as did he!) I generally went out with guys who I was “meh” or better about- not necessarily 100%, but not repulsed by.


As far as always finding my husband attractive? The first 3-4 years I knew him we were bffs and I thought he was “aww so cute!” but “ew never in a million years, that would be like being with my BROTHER!” despite his MANY unsuccessful attempts at wooing me (I was a bit clueless.) We kissed a few times when we first met and briefly dated and it felt SO wrong to me- I couldn’t ever see us together as anything but friends, but I knew that he cared about me and was such a great force in my life and, even after we stopped dating, he stuck around so I figured he must have liked me well enough to keep being friends.


Then one day- poof… he went from “DH my bff-4-eva and bro” to “omg I’m gonna marry this guy. WTF have I been THINKING?! He’s HOT!”

and our friends rejoiced ha.  So in short, yes, I’ve always thought he was attractive… but not in a sexual way until WAY late into our friendship/relationship.

Post # 39
229 posts
Helper bee

First night I met my SO after about 2 hours of us talking it hit me boom! “I wanted this man in my bed so badly” even now it’s the same. Last night he was stood trying to talk to me and all that was going through my mind was “Damn I wanna rip that shirt off his back”…<br /><br />He’s he only relationship I’ve had where I’ve had that initial attraction to, all the rest it came later.

Post # 40
2847 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have never dated online, but I met my Darling Husband through a single parents meetup group.  I was attracted to him from the moment I laid eyes on him.  The fact that he is really nice and a great guy made him all the more attractive to me!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  NavyBee.
Post # 41
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I found my Fiance ridiculously attractive from the start. He’s actually the first relationship I’ve had where that has been the case. Now there would be no turning back for me. I’m extremely attracted to him and still sit there and gaze at him sometimes and think about how handsome he is. 🙂


Post # 42
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

Nope. Started out as friends, I wasn’t single (so I wasn’t looking). His personality was always attractive though – funny, kind and clever. Without the personality looks are nothing.

Post # 43
2216 posts
Buzzing bee

SittingWaitingWishing:  Yes, I always found my SO attractive. He’s not as conventionally attractive as some people I’ve dated in the past, but I still found him cute and we have a lot of good chemistry in person. It was the chemistry that drew me in because I was in a place where I didn’t want to date anyone when I met him, but the chemistry made me realize that maybe I should give this guy a chance. The response I got from some people was that I was more attractive than him, so I shouldn’t date him, which I found to be a very shallow viewpoint. Attractiveness has always been important to me to a point, but chemistry and personality are much more important IMO. And maybe it’s because I love him so much, but I feel like he has grown more attractive over time. I think he is incredibly handsome, much more so than I originally realized.

I’d suggest meeting more guys in person than just the ones you find attractive from the photos. Photos aren’t always an accurate representation of how someone will look in person, and they’re certainly no representation of whether you two will have chemistry or not. Plus, the more people you end up meeting, the more you increase your odds of actually landing someone you really like and could have a long term relationship with.

I haven’t dated online, but I know that my two close friends who eventually found long-term relationships through the internet were using Ok Cupid and were giving more guys than they initially found attractive chances. They were probably going on 2-4 dates a week (not always first dates) over the course of several months before they found the people they are now very serious with. So essentially what I got from talking to them about their experiences is that they treated it very seriously, almost like a part-time job, because that was the only way to meet enough guys to find someone in their opinion. And both of these women are very busy–one is a medical student and the other works full-time while also taking courses for her master’s degree in the evenings, so they both had to manage their time wisely and prioritize this in order to be successful.

Post # 44
8575 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

We met online while playing World of Warcraft, so his personality really attracted me first. After a few years of talking, we became myspace friends, and I thought he was really cute. He moved from California to Indiana to be with me when he was 19 [I was 22] so his looks have changed, but I am still very attracted to him!

Post # 45
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I didn’t meet him online. We worked together and I didn’t initially find him attractive. I had an attractive boyfriend so I wasn’t looking. My fiance is shorter than me, and definitely isn’t my “type”. But he became my best friend and there was always sexual tension between us. Idk what it was and I used to be so confused about it bc I didn’t really find him attractive…

Now, I just look at his face and DO think he is attractive. So I don’t know what the problem was, though I wasn’t looking so maybe that was part of it?

So I don’t think you should write someone off from the beginning.

My fiance is one of the funniest people I have ever met and he always puts a smile on my face. So when I think of how happy he makes me (and how great he is in bed) I can’t help but to think he’s attractive and sexy. lol

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