(Closed) Did you and SO/FI/DH ever break up/take a "break?"

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: "Break" or break-up?
    I've never taken a break or broken up with a current or former SO/FI/DH. : (128 votes)
    57 %
    We took a temporary break and it worked wonders for the relationship. : (22 votes)
    10 %
    We took a temporary break and nothing changed (led to a break-up). : (8 votes)
    4 %
    We broke up, but then got back together, and it worked wonders for the relationship. : (46 votes)
    20 %
    We broke up, but then got back together, and nothing changed (led to a permanent break-up). : (13 votes)
    6 %
    Other? : (8 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8044 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @jwdesiree:  I did with my ex and it was really just delaying the inevitable. After repeating the break up/make up cycle a few times, we called it quits (well I did, for my sanity).

    I suppose it depends on the reasons you take a break, but in general I think that wild horses shouldn’t keep you apart, so something is clearly very wrong if you willingly decide to be apart.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    9567 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I have never taken a break with any boyfriend, FI and I have come close a couple of times, but we have never taken a break and are still going strong.

    Post # 5
    Member
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I was in a long distance relationship with my now fiance. We broke up at our 3 month, another time, beacuse I wanted to move closer and he freaked out about it and then we were on a break the 2 weeks before he proposed. After he proposed I moved closer and the last 8 months of being together have made the biggest greatest difference.

    Post # 6
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I left DH (before we got married) for a brief period because his drinking had gotten out of control.  This caused him to finally take a good honest look at himself and realize that he was drinking way too much and that his “party habits” weren’t worth losing me over.  He went and got help and our relationship did a complete 180!  It was the most devestated that I have ever been in my life, but he’s happy, healthy, and has his drinking under control and I truly don’t believe that would have happened if I hadn’t walked away from him for that time period.  Best thing that ever could have happened! 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    557 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @jwdesiree:  in the 2 year of our relationship we broke up because i felt lonely. he spent too much time studing and in his acadamic activities and didn’t pay any atention to me, despite the fact that i also had academic activities and studing to do but still managed to squise some time to him and us. we were apart for one month or so, and then we decided that we wanted to stay together and we should work in our problems and not give up on us. so we did… 🙂 we are still together today.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2145 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Nope. We don’t believe in breaks (personal – no offence to anyone else). Weve made it through middle school, high school, and university without a break. Our rule is to never threaten a break up in a fight unless you truly mean it. We take that very seriously. 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    11760 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t personally believe in breaks.  Once it gets to that place it’s time to move on and be done.  I don’t believe in breaking up and getting back together either – unless significant amount of time has passed.  I know there are plenty of relationship success stories that entail breaks or break ups, it’s just not for me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1852 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    We broke up once, about a year and a half in. We argued all the time and refused to communicate. He broke up with me, and we stayed apart for about two weeks. I did try to text him but he didnt reply. He did reach out to me a few weeks in and wanted to just talk without  thinking about a relationship. 

     

    Our attraction was so strong that we were back to being sexually attached the first time we met after the breakup. Things were so bad before the breakup that it took about a month or two for both of us to really feel good about getting those *titles* back.

     

    We never looked back. We communicate so well and rarely ever fight. I think the breakup saved our relationship. I was so devastated, ya’ll, but the end result was so worth it.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We broke up for almost a year and never planned on getting back together. But I had moved across the country, and grew up quite a bit, and it helped our relationship when we eventually did get back together.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2612 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

    I have never taken a break from my FI. We have been together for just over a year and at this stage in our lives I think we both have grown up enough to know what we wanted and how to work out any issues together.

    In the past with former SOs it was a little more difficult because it was a time in our lives where there were lots of changes (high school to college to grad school) and a lot of growing up to do. My HS boyfriend and I were on and off for years but things never got any better. My college boyfriend and I almost broke up once and then decided not to but a year later things ended anyway.

    Most of my SOs couldn’t deal with my career path and getting a higher level of education than they had. I had one ex tell me it was not a woman’s place to be higher educated than a man. He also had grand expectations of me not only working but doing all the child raising alone! He said he would like to be one of those “Dads” who just sees the kids for 15 min/day. Yeah, so happy he’s now moved across the country!

    All of these on and off again experiences taught me to know what I want, know what I am not going to change about myself, and that I need to find someone who is accepting of those things. In the end I was lucky enough to find someone who loves me without me having to give up who I am.

     

     

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    1335 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @jwdesiree:  My SO (soon to be FI) and I broke up about 6 months into our relationship.  He ended it.  We, after he realized he made a huge mistake, got back together 2 months after that.  We went to a counselor to discuss the issues, which was the best thing we could have done.  I made the decision to stick by the man whom annihilated me, because I knew in my heart of hearts he was the ‘one’.  I knew he was worth the fight, and he needed a bit more time to get there as well.  It has made us stronger, definitely.  Our story is not perfect, but I am not ashamed to tell it either.  He needed to grow up, and/or needed distance to figure out what he wanted. 

    Today, I have no regrets about my decision to ‘try again’, and although he regrets hurting me, he has no regrets about taking the time to ‘figure it out’.

    Post # 16
    Member
    6042 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2017

    @jwdesiree:  yes. We broke up for 2 years 🙂  it was the best thing to ever happen to us. We got together young and had a lot of growing up to do that needed to happen independently of each other. The kind of growth we had as individuals during that time apart was necessary for us to be successful. It was never a question of love or desire to make things work. We just weren’t capable of it without being able to get our own footing. the thing is, we broke up with no intention of getting back together. It just happened that way and we are both incredibly happy these days.

    The topic ‘Did you and SO/FI/DH ever break up/take a "break?"’ is closed to new replies.

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