(Closed) Did you ask his family to host your rehearsal dinner?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

His parents offered to host it.  But, they also helped quite significantly with the wedding too.  So, we said that for our rehearsal, we just wanted to get pizzas, veggies, etc, and make it a very laid back, casual party.

We figured, too, with all the help they gave us, by us choosing pizza, it would help it to not be expensive at all.

Post # 4
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

I don’t remember having to ask his family to host the rehearsal dinner.  I think it’s just a general “rule”, so to speak. 

Post # 5
5827 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

No, if his parents offer then we will be happy to accept but we won’t be bringing the topic up with them.

Post # 6
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My Fiance brought it up to his father about taking care of the rehearsal dinner since my parents are paying for all of their 100 guests to come to our wedding. 
I think your Fiance should ask his parents about what they plan to do about the dinner.  It is usually tradition that the groom’s parents pay for it.  If they say No, they say No, if they say yes, than great!

Post # 7
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think you should ask. Its peoples choices now days whether or not they contribute to the wedding and if they don’t offer then I don’t think its right to ask. You should just cover it yourself.

Post # 8
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

We are hoping his parents will offer since they haven’t contributed a dime or a second otherwise.  however, if they are not going to offer then we are not going to ask.

Post # 9
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you should ask either, but hope they offer or maybe your Fiance can ask about it. My fiance’s parents and my parents never met (they live in different states). When they finally did his parents offered to host the dinner. Maybe if they haven’t met yet they can meet and discuss wedding plans, and maybe it will naturally come up.

Post # 10
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

We never asked. They offered but we knew that they would be paying for it since they paid for his brothers rehearsal dinner 2 years ago. 

If your FIL’s want to pay for the rehearsal dinner, they will offer to. Coming out and asking may put them in an uncomfortable situation if they weren’t planning on offering. 

Post # 11
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Its waaaay early for us, but we already have it in our budget to pay ourselves. I dont think they paid for his brothers so  I dont anticipate them offering to pay for ours. But if they do we will accept and use the money we saved elsewhere

Post # 12
278 posts
Helper bee

I definitely think you should ask, some people don’t even realize there should be a rehearsal dinner & the worst they can say is no. Maybe bring it up as “Where do you think we should go for the rehearsal dinner” or “We may not be able to have a rehearsal dinner because of the budget” etc. try to open the conversation as if you are asking for advice, and hopefully they accept to host.

Post # 13
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

It’s very rude to ask them.  Wait and see if they offer.  If they don’t, you and your Fiance should pay for it yourself.  Just because it might be traditional for his family to pay, doesn’t mean that you should feel entitled to ask them for money. 

Post # 14
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010 - Ocean View Villas/Jasmine Seafood Restaurant

We started planning one with the assumption that we would pay for it.  Then his family offered to host and pay.  I wouldn’t ask specifically.  I would see if they offer.  Or ask them more generally maybe.

Post # 15
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i am very lucky in that they offered right away.


as a rule, i try not to assume anything.  i always kinda assumed my dad would host my wedding- nope.  assumptions are dangerous.  i try and expect nothing and anything else is bonus!

Post # 16
5283 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Personally, I wouldn’t ask flat out. But, there is no problem discussing money in general. But, I would have your Fiance talk to his parents w/o you present.

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