(Closed) Did you ask your FSIL(s) to be bridesmaids?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Did you ask your FSIL(s) to be your bridesmaid(s)?

    Yes, and we are close

    Yes, though we are not close

    No, though we are close

    No, and we are NOT close

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1668 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    @MexiPino:  I like my Future Sister-In-Law. She is really awesome, but I am not asking her. Fiance and I actually had this discussion long before he proposed. Why? Well, if I made her a bm then I would have to make both my sisters BMs and I really do not get on with one of my sister’s and the other I get along okay with. Neither of us have brothers so that means he would have had whoever he wanted and I would have either had people that I was not close with or ended up having a much too big bridal party. I told him if he wants her in the party that she could be a groomswoman. He wouldn’t. We are including the siblings in other ways, just not the wedding party.

    Post # 18
    Member
    13905 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I did, and it actually didn’t work out too well for me.  We were close initially, and it was very important to DH that his sister be included (same for me and my brother being a groomsman, so it wasn’t an issue for us).  So I asked her.  She turned into kind of a jerk, and was going through a lot of personal drama that she didn’t tell anyone about.  She was struggling a lot, but trying to keep a brave face and get through her own personal stuff, which affected her attitude a lot.  In the end, I found out what happened and everything is fine, and we’re back to being close, but it was a rough time going through the wedding process with someone who made me feel like I was inconvenicing her at every turn.

    Post # 19
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’m having all of my fiance’s sister’s in my bridal party – they are actually the majority of the bridesmaids.  We’re close with them, and it was important to me to include them.  It was also my idea to include them.

    Post # 20
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I had my SIL in my bridal party and it was great. It really brought us closer together. Now I will be the MoH in her wedding. We also had her Fiance as our officiant and my brother was in DH’s bridal party as well even though he was only 16 at the time. Family is really important to the two of us and it really showed in our wedding 🙂

    Post # 21
    Member
    1077 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

    I was friends with FI’s younger sister before i met Fiance. However, I wasn’t thinking of including her, but while talking about the bridal party, Fiance said, “Who should Future Sister-In-Law walk with… oh wait, you are going to ask her right?” So I said, “Oh, sure. Would you like for me to?” … He said, “Yes.”
    Ha. So his younger sister is one, but not his older sister. I don’t realy know his older sister that well though… so. yeah.

    Post # 22
    Member
    6014 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I was in my brother’s wedding but he married my BFF.  I didn’t ask my SILs(one was DH’s sister and the other was his SIL), that would have put my BMs up at 5, too many for me.  DH didn’t have my brothers either. My brother’s wife was my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I am not close to one of my SILs and the other one not so much, at all. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i didnt vote because i did not ask my SILs to be bridesmaids, but I probably would have if things didnt work out the way they did, even though one i am not close with and the other i have a healthy dislike of. i guess i usually think if siblings are close, it feels right to include them. i would have been crushed if i hadnt been in my brother’s wedding and was thrilled the day my SIL asked me.

    BUT DH’s sisters are very much the same way your FSILs sound. i lucked out because he asked one to be his best man (we did mixed gender BP) and the other is in her 40s, lives far away and had no interest in being in the Bridal Party – we had her daughter be Flower Girl and she was content with that.

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @MexiPino:  I made it easy by not having bridemaids. We are having a MoH and Best Man but that’s it. It also means my brother is not in the wedding party but it’s not a big deal, he’s still my brother and is at my wedding.

    Post # 25
    Member
    877 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

    @MexiPino:  love my SIL to peices but nope. i had my best friend as Maid/Matron of Honor and my other best friend and my sister as BMs.

    however – we did want to include DHs family in the wedding so we had his dad do our 1st reading, my SIL and her hubby doing our other reading and then my sis and SIL as our witnesses.

    Post # 26
    Member
    5373 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My Fiance doesn’t have bio sisters, but does have step-sisters. He’s not close with them at all and neither am I. We see one of them about twice a year and the other one we haven’t seen in over two years, because she lives in another province. It would be really weird/awkward to have them as bridesmaids. My Fiance is having my brother as a groomsman though, because we’re all pretty close and spend time together at least once a week.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1108 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I had my SIL as a bridesmaid… we are somewhat close (she is about 5 years younger than DH and I, but a really nice girl) but her being in the wedding party didn’t bring us any closer.

    Post # 28
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I have 3 Future Sister-In-Law. i am very close to 2 and the other we get along but don’t really speak too much outside family events. His sisters are very dramatic and one is very self centered, very loud personalities!! Individually all three are great but try and put them together is asking for trouble. I decided to ask one to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man to represent the Fiance side and since one is a new mom I asked her to be my go to girl, sort of my rock on the day of And to say a speech. the sister I am not closest with I am going to ask her to do a reading at the ceremony and her son is in the wedding. I feel that this was the best decision for my Fiance and I 

    Post # 29
    Member
    2836 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @MexiPino:  I included mine.  I told DH right from the start, if he wanted his sister’s in the wedding, I’m more than happy to have them be BM’s, but I didn’t know if I was going to ask them if he didn’t care– mostly because I didn’t even want a wedding party, but DH DID- so I had to have at least a few girls.

    Initially he said he didn’t really care- because he’s super laid back.  But once it was decided that my younger brother be a Groomsmen, we decided it was only right that his sister’s be in the wedding as well.

    Thier schedules are impossible- one works 2 jobs, the other used to, but she had a baby a month before the wedding.  One lives about 50 minutes away, the other lives about 30 minutes away.

    My SILs were the reason we were late for pics on our wedding day :/

    And one of them apparently got SO drunk 1.5 hours into the reception, that she had to leave.  

    DH doesn’t get upset easily, but he was so disappointed in his sister, and he shared this with her the next morning.  We got ONE photo of the wedding party together- which didn’t even include my son (RB) or our Flower Girl.  And with her missing for the whole evening, that was it.

     

    So while I feel like they sort of cotributed to the negative aspects of the day, I still don’t know if I would have had it any other way.

    If you husband wants his sister(s) to be part of the wedding, I suggest you take it into consideration.  This is BOTH of your guys’ wedding day- not just yours.  Even if you don’t have a brother to be a GM- I still think it’s a nice gesture towards your FH- if it’s something he has requested.

     

    If he never mentioned anything about it, I would say that you shouldn’t feel the need to have FSIL’s in the wedding.  But he did, and he’s going to be your husband!

     

    Post # 30
    Member
    3507 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @MexiPino:  Two of his sisters I see as my own little sisters however his oldest sister not so much. They will all be in the wedding though because I can’t have one and not the other.

    Post # 31
    Member
    341 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I like my FSILs, but we are not super close. I wanted to have a small bridal party with my best friends (My 3 bffs and 1 hr BM) and thats what I’m doing. Doesn’t seem to have upset anyone!

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