(Closed) Did you ask your FSIL(s) to be bridesmaids?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Did you ask your FSIL(s) to be your bridesmaid(s)?

    Yes, and we are close

    Yes, though we are not close

    No, though we are close

    No, and we are NOT close

  • Post # 32
    Member
    238 posts
    Helper bee

    my SO has 3 sisters, none of whom i have met yet.  when the time comes i don’t plan to ask them if i am being completely honest.  i don’t expect him to ask my brother to be one of his groomsmen either.  

    Post # 33
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I didn’t, even though I do get on really well with her. I asked her 4 year old daughter to be flower girl though.

    Post # 34
    Member
    635 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I asked my DH sister and he asked her husband to be in our wedding.  It ended poorly – neither of them ended up actually standing up on the day and there was so much drama.  I wish I could have just left her out like I had originally wanted.  he didn’t force me to ask her – I did just because I thought I should – BAD IDEA 🙂

    Post # 36
    Member
    3765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I have two SIL, one here in town who I am close to, and one out of town who I rarely see. The one in town was made a Bridesmaid or Best Man and the other read during the ceremony.

    If you don’t want them as BMs, find other important roles for them, such as reading.

    Post # 37
    Member
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I love my Future Sister-In-Law. We get along great, and I have no doubt we’ll become the best of friends once I move closer to her. I was happy to ask her to be a bridesmaid.

    Post # 39
    Member
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @MexiPino  Mine was in my wedding, but only because she’s my best friend — and how I met my husband.  I didn’t vote cause I don’t really fit the parameters above.

     

    I think, given their ages, it might not be the best idea to ask them.  However…are you doing programs?  You could list them in there…or have a “future sisters of America” brunch or lunch or something in the days before/after the wedding.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1122 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MexiPino  I decided to keep it easy and only have my sister and FI’s brother be in our party.  I think bridal parties are silly. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    13379 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I don’t think the logistical end of things ought to determine whether or not you ask them.  In reality, there is not much to coordinate.  The dress fittings can be on their time.  If they don’t accomplish what they are supposed to, then that’s on them, not you.   As far as the rehearsal, even if they can’t make the rehearsal, someone could easily explain it to them the day of.  IMO decide based on  whether you want them to stand up with you. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    834 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

    @MexiPino  DH just assumed I was asking his sister to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man… although he hadn’t planned on asking my brothers lol. It all worked out fine and we had a huge bridal party in which all of our siblings were a part:)

    ETA: I didn’t realize until after the wedding that she was included in all of the “sister” pictures, so I don’t have any of just me and my sisters. I am sad about that.

    Post # 43
    Member
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MexiPino  DH really wanted to ask her, and honestly I couldn’t see my wedding without her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, so she was asked. I am still glad I did, but it did not bring us closer. If anything it severely strained our already not-that-close relationship becuase she is VERY headstrong and felt she could have more of an opinion for our wedding since she was related to the groom. We had a HUGE blowout that resulted in a lot of bad things being said between she and I and she and her brother a few months before our wedding. She was given the choice, by DH, to either show up in the dress and keep her mouth shut for the last few months or don’t bother coming to the wedding at all.

    She ended up staying in the wedding, and she also ended up apologizing to me. I can’t say we are close, but we definitely have a better relationship than we ever have and talk more now. While everything worked out in my favor, I don’t advocate asking your Future Sister-In-Law to be in the wedding if you aren’t close with her or if you anticipate problems.

    Post # 44
    Member
    4813 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @MexiPino   I didn’t even thought they clearly expected it.   

    Post # 45
    Member
    2294 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I didn’t. I like my SIL, but she and my husband aren’t all that close, so we never became that close.  

    Post # 46
    Member
    471 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Fiance has a twin sister and luckily over the past 8 years we have become like sisters ourselves. She’s not only in the bridal party, but she’s actually my MOH!

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