(Closed) Did you ask your FSIL(s) to be bridesmaids?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Did you ask your FSIL(s) to be your bridesmaid(s)?

    Yes, and we are close

    Yes, though we are not close

    No, though we are close

    No, and we are NOT close

  • Post # 47
    Member
    9081 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Nope. I barely know his sister. He didn’t ask any of my brothers, either — He barely met them.

    Post # 48
    Member
    1382 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Fiance wanted me to ask her so I did. I didn’t want to, when I first met her we did not have a good relationship, by the time we got engaged, it had warmed, but I still wasn’t comfortable around her. Having her as my bridesmaid has really brought us close, so I am soooo glad I asked her. However, I’m not asking my brother’s fiancé. When we set our wedding parties I had just found out about her even though they’d been together almost a year. By the time they got engaged, we were a year into planning, and I’ve only met her once for a few days. If timing were different I’d ask her, but its really too late. I am paying for her to get her hair done with the Bridal Party tho.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We were guilt tripped into asking her… DH and I discussed having her in the wedding and decided not to ask bc of how far she lived, and just that she isn’t the type that seemed like one who would want to be in.  

    His is parents pulled him to the side and said how upset she was bc they all ASSUMED she was in the wedding party. She said she now didn’t wanna be in bc wedding was like 4 months away and she didn’t get to experience that dress shopping and what not. All in all, I ended up taking her dress shopping with mOh bc I told her we didn’t pick anything out and all of us originally went just to look. 

     

    But wtf eft who just assumes your I. The wedding?? Just bc your family..

    Post # 50
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Yes but am only close with one. The other lives on the other side of the U.S. It is becoming increasingly harder though since one of them is not prepared financially to be in a wedding. I wish she would have said no.

    Post # 51
    Member
    272 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2020

    Was but it is closer friends.

    Post # 52
    Member
    2484 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    The thought didn’t even cross my mind

    i might have asked his younger sister but she didnt come to the wedding.

     

    Post # 53
    Member
    8482 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Nope. I’ve only met his sister a handful of times, so I’d just feel weird having her as a bridesmaid.

    Post # 54
    Member
    964 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I think I will ask SO’s sisters to be bridemaids, I like both his sisters, I’m closer to his youngest sister (who’s 17) than his other sister (who’s 21) but will ask both to be there. I think it’s nice because they’re going to be my family forever. SO didn’t seem overly bothered about his sisters being in the wedding but I liked the idea.

     

     

    Post # 55
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @MexiPino:  Yes, I’ve included his three sisters in my bridal party. Aside from the fact that we are all close and get along great, he is after all, their only brother whom they love dearly, so I wasn’t going to deny them the experience of being able to be in their big brother’s wedding.

    Of course if we were all bitches to each other and not as lucky as we really are to be so close to one another, I might be singing a different tune đŸ˜‰

     

    Post # 56
    Member
    7300 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @MexiPino:  I included my SIL, it was a given without even asking on my DH’s part. We’re not that close, mainly due to distance than anything else. I don’t feel it’s my BM’s job to do anything but show up wearing their dress and support me on my wedding day. I didn’t choose my bridal party on who was the most reliable, or the best crafter, or who would throw a great party. I picked them because they were the ones who mean the most to me regardless of their flaws.

    I’m not sure what will be a nightmare. Yes, they might be hard to coordinate a holiday dinner with, but I would seriously hope they take their brothers wedding seriously. You don’t have to coordinate anything with them – they’re like any other person – you tell them what time the function starts and where. 

    Post # 57
    Member
    438 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Absolutely!! My future SIL introduced me to Fiance (it is her older brother) and we have been friends since we were 18/19!

    Post # 58
    Member
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My two FSILs are much older so I didn’t ask them to be bridesmaids but I did ask all of their children to be flower girls/ring bearers.  We’ll likely have them do a reading at the ceremony!

    Post # 59
    Member
    3960 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I’m usually all about what the bride wants and sticking to that, but in a case like this, I have to say that you ask the sisters. Especially if it’s going to cause hurt feelings and any type of strive between your Fiance and his family.

    I’m asking my SO’s sister even though we’re not particularly close. I believe it’s proper etiquette? I could be totally off base, but from the brunt of weddings I’ve been in or been to, the sisters and brothers of the bride and groom were interspursed. My SO will be asking my brother and my Brother-In-Law. I know that I enjoy looking at MY parent’s wedding photos and seeing my mother’s cousin and my dad’s cousin (we have a VERY close extended family) present, as well as my dad’s brothers and my mother’s cousin as groomsmen. 

    However, if you already have reached your cap for maids, then exclude them for sure. Ultimately it is 100% up to you and as long as your Fiance is okay with it and there will be no hurt feelings, then feel free to not ask them. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    2113 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @MexiPino:  FI only has a sister. I told him that as far as she and my brother are concerned, he gets to decide how they’re included if we want to include them. I told him right off the bat that I wanted my brother to be a groomsman, so he is. Fiance and his sister aren’t super close, so I wasn’t sure how involved he wanted her to be. Originally he said she could carry our cat and be the ring bearer bearer. The other day, though, she said she was going to be a groomsman because bow ties are cool.

    Post # 61
    Member
    2013 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Yes, and she asked me to be in her’s, too. We’re both getting married this year, her wedding is in June and mine in October. Neither of us have bio-sisters (kind of…long story) so we’ve always been close, despite her living 4 hours away.

    I also asked my Fiance to ask my younger brother to be a Groomsmen…they aren’t super close (there is a 14 year age difference), but they love each other and I knew it would mean a lot to my brother, especially since my other brother (he’s 8) in the ring bearer, and since my FI’s sis is a Bridesmaid or Best Man. My Fiance had sort of a “but of course” attitude about it, so that made me feel good, but I’m not sure he would have though to ask him on his own.

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