Post # 77
I purposely didn’t have a wedding party just to sidestep all of this ridiculous crap. I’m not close to my husband’s sister, and I don’t like her. Asking in-laws to be in your wedding can be a recipe for disaster. Next thing you know, they think it’s *their* day, they try to tell you how to do everything, etc.
My Mother-In-Law tried to prod my husband into telling her why we weren’t having a wedding party (to be fair, there were other things to it too – like the fact that a wedding party isn’t necessary). Finally, I e-mailed my then-FSIL and straight out told her that we weren’t having a wedding party. Nothing personal. She took it very well and told me I was smart for skipping it. May not like her, but credit where it’s due.
His sister signed the marriage license; I chose the wife of another relative, as we were somewhat close at the time, to be teh second witness.
Post # 78
Yeah. I love my FSILs but one of them is SUPER flakey and the other seems to have no abiity to retain any information we give her about the wedding. When we were talking about the venue we are 99% on we said we liked it because “It holds 200+ guests easily, allows us to use outside catering because my cousins are cooking and is VERY cheap, as in less than $2k”. She then proceeded over the course of the evening to list a MILLION venues, all of which are “really really nice!” and most of which either OBVIOUSLY had their own catering (because they were restaurants), were tiny and/or were hella expensive. I kept telling her “Stop thinking ‘this is really nice’ and start thinking ‘this might be ok’ and you’ll be closer to our budget” but she just kept on with her grand ideas. I think it might be because she ran away to the courthouse when she was 18 and pregnant. She’s divorced now and broke up with her longterm boyfriend last year, so I think she’s IS trying to make my wedding her dream wedding. Best to not bother.
Post # 79
I’m going to try and make this clear, it can be confusing lol, My SO has 5 sisters and I may ask his younger sister because they are close but My only issue asking. Her is she te da to be very loud and forget her manners, also my SO & her husband have almost exchanged blows (he tried to pick a fight with SO in front of the family with their child in his arms, SO walked away and hasn’t been around him for like 6 months now & the husband will not be invited and his whole family knows – it’s his family not mine so he makes that descision. His other 4 probably not but I have my reasons and he understands.
one lives a state away- although she is one of my favorites because she’s level headed and very sweet.
One they don’t really know where she’s living – & has left her 4 kids in OK (drug issues)
one is very sweet to your face & then finds everything wrong with you behind your back & apparently doesn’t trust me because I’m not a Christian and don’t want kids. Not that she ever asked but I have an auto immune disease, Chrons, and his family has a history with another auto immune disease, Lupus, so given that both my gastrointestinal dr & my gyno have said it isn’t safe or a good idea for me to have them.. A year ago they thought they werw going to need to remove 1/2 my intestines & my colon… Not that it matter apparently, as you can tell she frustrates me.
& one is overly judgey and has a “holier than thou” complex I don’t need to deal with & actually my brother’s wife “J” is the same way so my sister has asked me not to ask her… She called my SO & my sister “not real Christians” so we call it the fake Christian club, I’m agnostic so I “worry” her often lol.
My SO will probably ask my oldest brother but not the one married to J because they really haven’t made an effort to have a relationship with us but if by the time we start asking our Bridal Party things are differnt we may ask my brother & his wife, J also thinks he’s a fake Christian because his mom’s side of the family is full blood Native American and they believe some of the stories.
so yeah… I’m pretty sure my sister will be my Maid/Matron of Honor & I wont be asking 4 of his for sure. I felt bad at first because I felt like if you ask one you have to ask all but luckily for me my SO says the stress isn’t worth my health.
Sorry that was so long!
Post # 80
@MexiPino: i only have one Future Sister-In-Law, so i did ask her. however, a bunch of family drama has gone on since then and she got kicked out of the house. so now i’m like…. uhh…. i guess she’s not my bridesmaid anymore? not quite sure. lol.
Post # 81
@MexiPino: Even my Fiance isn’t close with his sister. Since niether of us are close to her, there was no pressure to include her.
If Fiance had really wanted her in the wedding, I may have suggested she stand on his side…but I also may have caved and had her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, not sure since it was never really a topic of dicusssion.
Post # 83
I asked his sister, because I wanted my brother to be a groomsmen. Since we each only have one sibling I thought it was only fair I asked her to be my bridesmaid.
Post # 84
My Future Sister-In-Law is my maid of honour but that being said we are incredibly close 🙂 if we were not close I would not have had her
Post # 85
My future SIL is not in the wedding. Fiance has a half sister (10 years younger than him) and a step sister. If he had asked me to include them, I would have, but he’s not really close to either of them nor does he see them on a regular basis.