Post # 1
I just realized I didnt get my SOs parents or relatives anything for Christmas. his parents usually get me a gift card or some clothes, and maybe 2 of his aunts and uncles get me something small. I dont think my BF got my parents anything, so I don’t know if i should be stressing out over this.
in my family, no one buys for the ‘adults’. I bought my parents a gift, but i have never bought for my aunts and uncles or grandparents (yet they sometimes still give gifts). It’s just the way my family does it.
Do you think it’s bad that I didn’t get them anything? Or am I stressing over nothing?
Post # 2
I buy for my family and he buys for his, but we put on the cards that the gifts are from both of us.
Post # 3
We’re married this year, so we gave gifts from the two of us. The last few years when we were engaged/just dating and had separate finances, I always bought gifts for his mom, dad, sister, and aunt. I would just feel extremely awkward getting something without having something to give back for it – and it always feels good to give gifts! I would definitely have bought something for them, but it’s a little late for you now.
If you don’t give gifts for adults…aren’t you an adult?
Post # 4
My husband’s family lives outside of the country so we don’t get to see them during christmas, but he does have a grown daughter (21) that I buy presents for every year. He also buys for my family. I think it depends on the dynamic. If everyone in their family exchanges gifts and you go there empty handed it might be a bit akward. I would get at least a box of chocholates or a bottle of wine for the family.
Post # 5
I started spending Christmas with all of my FI’s extended family 3 years ago (so this will be my 4th with them). The first year I didn’t get anyone anything because I honestly had no idea what to expect. After that year though, I get presents for everyone because that’s just what his family does. Nothing big, but still. For his cousins’ kids (there are 10 of them, soon to be 11), I get gift cards to Barnes & Noble and candy. For his actual cousins, we make something each year. This year we’re doing a “cookie in a jar” for everyone. And when I say “I,” I mean the gifts are from both Fiance and I. We split the costs 50/50 but I do all the buying and wrapping, etc.
As far as his immediate family, they all get me gifts (like real gifts, not just the little stuff we do for the cousins) and I gift them in return as well. Same goes for my family and Fiance.
Post # 6
I should have worded that diferently. None of my cousins or brothers (I have no sisters) are married or have children. So the youngest people in my family are the children of my parents/aunts/uncles. Even though I am an adult, most of my cousins are teenagers. Usually, if you are under 18 in my family, you get something. None of my cousins have ever bought for my parents, grandparents, etc.
Also, my family lives around 4 hours away. I see them maybe two times a year.
Post # 7
If his family do give gifts then it would be decent to return the favour. You could grab some nice wine or something.
Post # 8
none of them drink, so that doesn’t work too well. My BF just got most of his relatives gift cards (nothing with too much thought).
Post # 9
The first few years we were together, I always got his parents separate gifts, but when we got engaged, we started writing from both of us on the gift and now this is our first married Christmas, he buys for his family, I buy for mine, and we sign from both.
Get them a box of chocolates if you’re worried!
Post # 10
I would simply suggest discussing it with your SO. My Fiance and I have been doing the same thing for the past 7 Christmases in that we each buy for our own respective families and then adress some of the gifts as from both of us and a few from us individually.
Post # 11
DH is a better gift buyer/giver than me. He usually just buys for his whole family aunts, uncles, cousins. and it is from both of us. He usually gets my mom and brother something as well.
sometimes i buy additional for my mom and brother (like this year) but i don’t buy a second gift for his family. whatever he buys suffices for me.
Post # 12
My first Christmas with my now ILs was a surprise. I got snowed into town so I couldn’t go see my own family, and my DH (BF at the time) picked me up from my appartment and brought me to his parents place so I didn’t spend Christmas alone. I made him stop at the grocery store on the way there and bought a nice bottle of wine (half hosting gift half Christmas present) and that has been what I have done every year. We tend to get them a nicer present together since we got engaged and married, but I still get a bottle of wine with it.
Typically, DH picks out the present for his parents, and I pick out the one for mine, but its from both of us now.
Post # 13
Absolutely! I usually pitch in on the bigger gifts SO gets his family. I make a lot of handmade goods that his family requests so they get that too. Sometimes I find little things in the stores that makes me think of them and buy that too. I’m pretty close to SO’s family, so it may be different for others.
Post # 14
I bought all the gifts for my family. We’re trying to save so I told him I just wanted to do one small gift per person. I put both our names on them.
His family doesn’t celebrate it really. So, there would be no point. Just as well, the last time I tried to send his mother something in the mail…we never heard the end of it (because she said we should save out money instead) so, yeah, not going there again.
Post # 15
My husband buys for his family, I buy for mine. My parents are divorced so dealing with my step brothers and sisters and their kids, its alot of money that I just dont have. I end up just buying for my parents and put our names on it.
This is the first year we decided that, should have been decided when we were married, but oh well. Before I would have to go in on his familys presents and I wouldnt have enough for my own family and it was just like ‘Wait what, thats not even remotely fair’ lol you live and learn 😉