Did you Buy Property With Someone You Aren't Married To?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
7058 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Darling Husband and I bought our house together 4 years before we even got engaged. It was the right choice at the time for us. The opportunity presented itself, and it was a killer deal right when the housing market was going insane. We’d been together 8 years already when we bought our house. We knew we’d get married eventually.

 

Post # 32
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I bought a house with my fiancé before we got engaged. We were already living together,  we wanted more space and we didn’t want to rent anymore. It’s really not a huge deal if it’s done correctly. It’s a contract and you just need to specify the details of how things will be handled in the event of a split, death, job loss, etc.

I’m glad we bought the house first.

Post # 33
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

Darling Husband and I have been married 4 years and still don’t own…so for us, no. I have a friend who bought a house with a guy after 7 months and then immediately started panicking that she had no ring. They got engaged 6 months after they bought and are now married, but after seeing her anxieties over it i wouldn’t recommend it.

 

I think every couple is different and what works for some won’t work for others.

Post # 34
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t co-sign for a car let alone buy a property with someone I wasn’t married to. 

Post # 35
Member
648 posts
Busy bee

greybee :  Unless someone is paying a lawyer to protect his/her financial interests via a contract, can afford the mortgage solely on his/her own salary, and has sufficient funds to buy out a partner– it’s a pretty horrible idea.  It’s not as simple as being able to force an ex bf to sell and being guaranteed 50% of the proceeds.  Marriage provides a myriad of financial protections not afforded to unmarried couples.  If an ex bf isn’t eligible to refinance a property, the payment history on the mortgage will impact your credit, ability to obtain credit in the future, and ability to be paid back on your investment into the home.  What happens if a roof needs replaced and it’s $15k?  What happens if the market dips and there isn’t sufficient equity to sell without taking a loss?  If anything goes wrong and/or the break up isn’t amazingly amicable, the only winner will be the attorney you have to retain to try to recoup part of your investment–not much different than a divorce…

Post # 36
Member
1268 posts
Bumble bee

I bought property with my Darling Husband before we were engaged. I based my decision on strength of the relationship not marital status. Getting married does not prevent a breakdown of a relationship. 

Post # 37
Member
2003 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We bought a house together. I would never have done it with anyone else. But we looked at without emotion. My name was not on the title or mortgage. If we broke up, I got to walk away. We agreed he would buy me out of what I placed into the house. But I also look at the house right now as I am paying rent until my name is on it. 

However, we have gotten wills leaving the house to me if something happens to him. 

Post # 38
Member
693 posts
Busy bee

We have bought three properties together and aren’t married. Buying property is not making a committment to each other. We made that committment long before we bought property, and it didn’t take a fancy ceremony and piece of paper for us to know that we are each others person.

Post # 39
Member
3061 posts
Sugar bee

greybee :  I did just last month, however we were already engaged for a year and a half at that point and about 8 months away from the wedding. 

Our plan was to buy after, but turns out we had to move and we just didnt see the point of finding an apartment to move into for 1 year so we moved up the home buying. It was pretty simple actually to have both of us on the house. 

Post # 40
Member
454 posts
Helper bee

We did, after almost 4 years together and a year before our engagement. It was the right move for us. We knew we were committed and going to get married.

Post # 41
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

My fiance and I bought our first home 1.5 years before getting engaged and bought our second property 5 months before our wedding.

It really wasn’t a big deal to us.  We had been together for 8 years before we purchased our first home together.  We also did it “right” in the sense that we both contributed to the down payment and both of our names were on title.  If anything were to happen everything would be divided 50/50.

For us it made more sense to invest in a property and a home than a wedding at the time.  Once we continued saving and were financially in the situation to do so, we got engaged and started planning our wedding.

Also, I didn’t see how buying a home with a longterm spouse was any different than a husband.  Marriage doesn’t always equal forever. What works for some may not work for others!  My advice is to do whatever works best for you and your relationship.

Post # 42
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee

We bought our home 1 year before we got engaged and 2 years before we got married (but we’d been together 7 years at the time). The catalyst to buy was purely practical – we were living together and our landlord decided to sell, forcing us to look for a new place.  After several weeks of viewing rental places that were far more expensive but way less appealing than what we were renting, we realized it would be cheaper to buy. I definitely do not regret the timing in our situation: had we waited even a few months to buy, we would have been priced out of our area.  When we bought, we got a lawyer to draw up a contract covering all the contingencies: what happens if one of us stops paying their half of the mortgage, what happens if one of us wants to sell, how do we split the costs etc, so we entered it a lot more organized than we might have, had we bought post-marriage and relied on marriage protections.

Echoing others, getting married does not guarantee your relationship will survive.  I personally considered buying a place together a much more significant commitment than getting married (I joke that we can break up anytime we want but we’ll be in a threesome with the bank for the next 15 years). Also, you might find yourself more diligent about protecting your own interests if you enter into this huge legal and financial relationship with a boyfriend instead of with a husband. Not that I’m advocating to buy pre-marriage – I’m just saying the risks you expose yourself to (and therefore what you can protect yourself from) exist in both scenarios, you should be smart about it either way.

 

Post # 43
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

greybee :  I bought our home independently. My now husband was fixing his credit but really wanted us to buy a home. I knew it was a good investment but didn’t feel comfortable just buying with a boyfriend. We actually got engaged before ending up finding a home. But I still chose to do it on my own even though he was contributing to down payment and household bills and he was fine with that. I was just paranoid about what if we do this and things don’t work and then we have to deal with the house. My mom had a nasty divorce from my dad so I was paranoid about such a large purchase. Plus I was never one to push marriage but told him buying a home is just as big of a step and a serious one so I want to know you’re in it to win it cause I’m not playing house. Today is our 3 year wedding anniversary, and we’re still living here. Getting ready though to sell and buy together. 

Post # 44
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We started house shopping together June 2016, Got Engaged October 2016, Closed on our home December 2016 and our Wedding will be September 23, 2017. 

We saw 12 houses before finding our home, and the mortgage, closing, etc was far more stressful than getting married is… 

It may not be the conventional way of doing things, but we LOVE our home. 

Post # 45
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Sort of. We started the process of building a home while we were engaged. Since we didn’t close on the home until it was finished (at that point we’d been married 8 months) if for whatever reason things didn’t work out, we would have only been out about $25k and wouldn’t have had to deal with anything legal except canceling the contract.

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