(Closed) Did you change your engagement ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 19
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@memo:  +1

It is kind of hard to answer honestly when you told us to spare you what I would consider my honest answer. I think it would deeply hurt his feelings. i am not calling you materialistic but it is my belief that the meaning of the ring outweighs the size of the ring.

A suggestion would be maybe you could upgrade for one of your wedding anniversaries or maybe get a band with some larger diamonds. I would love to see your ring as well!

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Post # 20
342 posts
Helper bee

Is it the stone size that you are horribly disappointed with or the ring’s design? If it’s the size, I would sit on it for a while, then upgrade the diamond later on to a more substantial size that you want. If it’s the setting… Yeah, I don’t see how you can get out of that without really upsetting your fiancé. 

Post # 21
3154 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@cheapblingring:  I love the idea pp had of upgrading and making the first ring a rhr! As long as you are both ok with it, you should pay for the upgrade. Nothing wrong with getting what you want:)

Post # 22
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@cheapblingring:  Who said anything about 20 years? We just got mine for our one year anniversary lol! Tongue Out 

What does the ring you want look like? Maybe get that ring as your wedding ring that he can put on you at your ceremony? Then you only have to wait until August!

The only thing that concerns me about getting a new ring right away is that your fiance’s feelings may be hurt. It is very important that you wear something you love, don’t get me wrong, but perhaps give it a little more time for his pride to heal. Explain to him that you love him and you love that he put so much time in the ring. You want to wear it (on your right hand), but you’ve been longing for a specific ring for a very long time and would appreciate his moral support in you getting it. Also, if you guy’s ever have a daughter you can pass the ring he gave you down to her someday!

Post # 23
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@cheapblingring: I too make more money than my fiancé. We have been together almost 9 years. He has been in some trouble so the only job he could get bc of that is with his dad truck driving. We had a son and now what he makes trucking is what child care would cost so he is a stay at home dad…he hates not having his own money, so he works with his dad once a week now while I’m still on leave but when I go back to work he will only be able to work one or two days a month. I knew all this before we had our son and I’m fine with it. I would rather stay home with the baby but having one parent all the times is better than daycare in my eyes. Anyways…my ring was $100 and I picked it. Would I say no to a big rock? No. Do I have a larger ring I bought myself? Yes. Does it feel right? No, because the ring he asked me to be his wife with is not the bigger one. I am not tied to a ring bc I plan to wear lots of diff rings and just keep my wedding band as the consistent piece. I told him about another ring I wanted and he said, ‘you should haves waited for the bigger ring but you picked a ring bc you want to be engaged now.’ He is right…but I knew the wait would be forever, lol, and I wanted him to know that I could care less about that and it was just the fact that he wanted me to be in wife. It worked and backfired all at the same time, lol! If he is fine with you trading the ring then do it but do be considerate of him. It’s hard on a man to not be the bread winner and to know something he did provide was not good enough. So…tread lightly but be upfront. That’s what I did, and Fiance doesn’t care if I wear another ring, as long as I wear a ring…but no other ring feels like the ring he gave me. 

Post # 27
1744 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

I think I would keep the ring, and get the wedding band of my dreams. Eventually I’d wear the original ering on my right hand and look at getting another one as an anniversary present down the line.

Post # 30
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@cheapblingring:  your ring sounds pretty 🙂 i would keep it and buy another one down the road and switch off and on 🙂 you never know, it may grow on you!

Post # 31
1174 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Here’s my two cents.  I would say go ahead and upgrade….IF your fiance is ok with it. If he’s not….then you really need to consider his feelings and be done with it…at least for a couple years because over time it’s possible he will get over feeling bad about it and just let you do it.

I wouldn’t let a ring come between your relationship and truth be told, if this is enough to cause major problems between the two of you…there is something deeper going on then just a ring.  I’m not saying it is causing problems…but if he is against you changing it and you do it anyway…..is it going to cause resentment?

If that’s your ring in the above picture….it’s beautiful!  I know you said you told him up front what you wanted…and that’s fair,  but did he REALLY know what you meant when you said you wanted a BIG ring? Some guys don’t get it and you practicaly have to spell it out for them.  Is it possible he didn’t understand?


Anyway, if I was you…..I wouldn’t do anything with the ring unless my Fiance was 100% ok with letting me…PERIOD.

Congrats on the engagement!





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