(Closed) Did you change your engagement ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

What if you stressed how unpractical the ring is in daily aear? It gets caught on everything, you’re afraid of something happening to it because of daily catching and banging it on things, etc.? But stress how much it means to you, since it came from him. You don’t want to replace it, you just want something that is more practical for you.

Post # 33
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

ok, your ring is really pretty, but I would find a ring that tall to be a pain in the ass to wear.  It’s not a remotely practical setting.  I also see how you’d be annoyed that he didn’t consider what you wanted.   It’s really sweet that he designed it, which makes this situation a bit sticky.   Re: the size of the diamond, if that’s what he could afford, I think that is something you should be respectful of, as diamonds are expensive.  Some men feel they HAVEto buy their woman a diamond.  it also doesn’t look like you can just pop a bigger stone in there – it doesn’t appear that the design will allow it.

 

i think you should just buy an awesome wedding band that’s blinged out and your style.

Post # 34
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m all for upgrading your ring but only if it’s something the 2 of you decide to do together. If not, problems form from resentment and frankly, I don’t think it’s worth it. I agree that you have to give him time for his ego to recover. Then perhaps you can explain to him and ask for his support in buying your dream ring. If not, maybe you could wait until you have your first child and ask for it then because then you’ll actually have a son or daughter to save his ring for. Boy or girl can inherit your ring. Fiance almost used his mom’s old ring to propose to me. 

Post # 36
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My Fiance also wanted to be the one to pick out my ring.  While I think my ring is beautiful and he did a great job, it isn’t practical at all.  I’ve had it less than a month and I’ve already lost 2 pave stones.  I also would have prefered a slightly larger center diamond, but he went for the overall look and I didn’t care for solitaires anyway.

I am fine with a couple changing or upgrading the ring as long as they are both on board.  My Fiance — he would NOT be on board.  He also would not let me give him any money toward my ring.

Your setting does look rather high.  What if you took it back to the jewler to have them tweak it a bit?….take out that center stick or whatever that is, and lower it a bit?

From your picture it looks like a halo with a plain shank.  What if you got 2 diamond bands, one to go on each side of the e-ring?  That would make it really sparkly.

Post # 37
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@cheapblingring:  Omg I’m glad you posted a pic of your ring because the setting is incredibly high. Mine is already considered high and catches on things so I can’t imagine what wearing this ring is like on a daily basis.

 

I think that in this situation, you really have to consider your FI’s feelings over all else. I felt sad for him, you said he’s so heartbroken over not being able to provide you the dream ring. My suggestion is to bring up the possibility of upgrading your engagement ring in a few yrs, after you’re married. It sounds like buying the ring himself was important to him so you can bring up contributing your own money but be understanding if he says that he would rather save all the money himself for an upgrade. Good luck!

 

EDIT: I only got engaged recently but I’m not exchanging or upgrading the ring. I picked the setting myself and my Fiance picked the diamond based on a range of spects that I provided him so the ring is exactly what I wanted.

 

Post # 38
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

1/2 carat is too small and enough to complain about, huh? …wow I feel like a loser…

Post # 39
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

@foreverlovex:  +1

OP should keep in mind that the Fiance is on a budget. The man bought what he could afford and is proud and happy. I would dare to change the ring but to each their own.  A cushion cut ½ carat is not very small. If size is all what matters, get a big M color stone or go moissanite! 

Post # 41
Member
1908 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

While I picked out my engagment ring, and kept it in FI’s budget – meaning I went with a slightly smaller stone but high quality – I kind of ran into this issue with getting my wedding ring. Mostly because Fiance didn’t know he would have to buy what he calls “a second ring” so he had no budget for it.

After talking for awhile he told me he could budget $300. I make about twice as much as Fiance and told him that if he was comfortable contributing $300 I would like to pay the rest to the wedding ring I really want which contains 0.33 carats of diamonds therefore is not really the $300 price range. I also wanted it to be good quality and from a jeweler I felt comfortable working with.

He was not comfortable with it at first and thought “what will people think”…who needs to know? I’m certaintly not going around telling people IRL the price of my rings who paid for it. So after awhile he agreed. I paid for the ring (which is currently being made) and he is going to pay me back a portion as he is able to – because this is what he was comfortable with doing.

If there’s a ring out there that you feel is the one and you must have it, then I would try and work something out with your Fiance where he would feel comfortable with you upgrading your ring. Even after we talked about it, it took my Fiance some time to understand why it was so important to me to get a nice ring that I loved. I am wearing it every day, I want to love it, and have it be comfortable and functional for me. I have a very low setting, anything with a high setting like yours looks to be would have been a huge pain for me at work. In fact I don’t think I could have worn a high set ring to work.

Hope you’re able to work something out.

 

Post # 42
Member
454 posts
Helper bee

You could always get back at him by buying him a wedding band that’s equally impractical.  Such as…

But seriously, I understand where you’re coming from.  To be completely honest, I am not a fan of how high the setting is.  I could see how it would be much prettier if it was set lower (like a PP said, get rid of that post thing in the middle).  I do not think you should feel bad about wanting a different ring, but it’s a touchy situation.  Could you potentially design the new ring together so that it incorporates some of his vision for the ring as well?  Also, if he’s sensitive about the money, would you be open to a simulant (such as a moissy) so that you get the size you would like within his budget?

Post # 44
Member
968 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Another thing is, its just not gunna feel the same…he proposed to you in that ring.. you get another that you just went to the store and pick out? To mean it looses some of the meaning.

Post # 45
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Midland, TX

@cheapblingring:  I’d suggest asking if he’d mine if you added another halo for more bling and lower the prongs on that setting.

DH and I upgraded my set but it was agreed upon from the start that we would

 

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