(Closed) Did you change your engagement ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 77
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@cheapblingring:  I love the top view!  That is the prettiest-shaped halo I have ever seen!

Post # 78
Member
12326 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You mentioned being able to save up 4500 for your ring, but what do you think that would buy you?  4500 would not get you a good quality .9 in a nice setting.  I wouldn’t be surprised if that ring was close to that if that is a high quality diamond.  I do agree that the setting is insanely high and just impractical.  It’s begging to be damage from daily wear IMO.  What about modifying it to be lower and putting in a larger stone of your choice.  If I got a new e ring, I’d put a coloured stone in it, maybe his north stone?  (Assuming it’s not April).

 

Post # 80
Member
2300 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Ugh, excuse my post. Apparently I was tired and incoherent!

Anyways OP, the ring itself is beautiful and I have a feeling that the setting is so darn high because the jeweler convinced him that the half carat stone would look larger when it’s set higher. For what it’s worth, I think the stone is a great size, it’s perfect for the setting.

I second the others. Have a few episodes of klutziness so he can see how impractical the height of it is, and go together to have it lowered. Is there anything else you would change?

Post # 81
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, I think your style and practicality preferences trump his ego-based jewlery designer for a day operation. I say you throw a CZ or something inexpensive in the ring and keep it for posterity. Use the diamond to upgrade and slap it on a setting YOU love. Or maybe it can be lowered somehow- get rid of that random vertical bar in the middle?

You have to take it off at work!? What if it got lost? Then how would everyone feel! PP who say theyd be happy with a plastic ring are full of it. Because plastic cracks and does not last. Doesnt he want you to wear it everyday and love it and be excited when you look down? I say you gracefully, delicately, but persistently, make this happen and let him see that its okay. You so appreciate all the effort, but its going to take a toddlers eye out. 

 

 

 

 

@cheapblingring:  

Post # 82
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

U don’t have to change it I added a halo makes a world of difference!

Post # 83
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@cheapblingring:  If my Fiance worked at a coffee shop and bought me a half carat I’d be so happy. I’m sorry but I’ve never been able to bring myself to complain about gifts I’ve received especially when they’re that meaningful.

Post # 84
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

I’m going to be totally real with you. I might piss off some people, but here goes. Your man needs to listen to you and accept the reality that what he created is both impractical and the center stone is lacking. When my Fiance first proposed to me (ring less and half sleep) he wanted to keep it a secret until he had a ring to “show off” to friends and family. He gave me a budget and said if I wanted more I would have to chip in. I worked within his budget but also made it abundantly clear that if I didn’t like the ring for any reason we would return it and start the search all over again.

 

Thankfully we live in a time where women don’t have to “Shut up and live with it”. A strong relationship with good communication should be able to discuss/negotiate any topic because let’s face life will throw worse at you than ring disappointment.  I’m sure you guys can reach an agreement together but it’ll taking some growing up on his part and money on yours.

 

Don’t let others put you down for having a certain standard. We all have our own tastes and preferences and they should be respected. Wanting a-whatever-carat diamond isn’t a problem so long as you are willing to fork over and help him out with it. Honestly when you get married finances will be shared via joint accounts.

 

On a personal note I know I can be stubborn, bossy, high maintenance and just plain difficult and my Fiance loves me as I am. So I treat him like a king for supporting me and not judging who I am. Literally the day after he proposed with lemon bar (ring’s name) I told him my right hand was empty and it would need a ring too. How does he react? He laughs and tells me he’ll eventually get me a ring for every finger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 85
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

First of all, congratulations! It sounds like you had a proposal that many girls would envy. 

Secondly, @foreverlovex: +1000! I don’t get the need to tell us that you don’t want to be given certain responses – you’re posting this in public more or less. I’m feeling very 50/50 on what you’re writing.

I get that cushion cut doesn’t exactly work with the size. I get that you want a ring that you’re proud to wear. I really do. And I think there are ways of getting there that won’t kill your SOs pride. But seriously, you sound spoiled to be completely honest (sorry!). You say that you’re not a traditional couple, but everything you say sounds uber traditional – just because you make more money doesn’t make you untraditional. To be disappointed that he didn’t buy you a 4500 dollar engagement ring just sounds completely whack to me. I realise there’s a big difference in between Europe and US in terms of rings, but 4500 is a lot of money for someone who hasn’t been able to get a solid job down. I mean, would you rather not be engaged? To think of your own desire for an expensive ring as the first thing when your boyfriend gets a good job is just really off IMO. But I’ll stop here and tell you what you want to hear.. 

I think he will be much more understanding of ‘the ring is unpractical’ arguments rather than the arguments you’ve been giving us. The ring is indeed set very high, and I have no doubts that its capable of ruining any collection of Wolfords. I bet he didn’t even consider this, and guys are typically responsive to practical issues. He clearly wanted badly to give you this specific ring, so I think the compromise will be to keep it for a year or two and then upgrade it together in a way you both agree on. 

Good luck.

Post # 86
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

@cheapblingring:  I would definitely tell him and trade it in and you pay the rest. You’re the one who will be wearing it all the time, so you need to be happy with it 100%. 

Post # 87
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I don’t think there is anything wrong with you wanting to change your ring. You don’t love it. And you’re correct, it’s your love that represents your relationship, not your ring. You have to wear this thing every single day for the rest of your life, so you should damn well love it. Also, I highly doubt any man would wear a wedding band that he didn’t like, so why should we have to? I don’t think you’re being materialistic about this at all.

Post # 88
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@cheapblingring:  I picked out my ring online and when it came I realised it was too bling and uncomfortable to wear everyday, so I asked my Fiance if I could change it. He said of course, because I’m the one who’s wearing it (and I chose it, so we laugh over how I don’t know my own mind). BUT if he’d spent as long picking it out and really put his soul into it, I don’t know what i would have done. Tricky situation.

I can see your dilemma, because it is a pretty ring, but not so practical AND not what you wanted. However, I don’t agree with you about the money- $4500 is a LOT of money to spend on a ring, especially as he’s on a low salary.

Post # 89
Member
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

OP, I only read a few of the other bees, not all.  But yes, I exchanged my ring.  It was DH’s doing, I would have worn what he chose.  It was really uncomfortable doing it.  He felt like he failed and I just felt weird, not giddy to it.

We were together 7 years before he proposed.  It was a very pretty ring and quite larger than I expected, but it wasn’t me.  I was really upset that after all that time he didn’t know me.  So we returned that one entirely and went somewhere else for the one I have.

Post # 91
Member
1744 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

@spezia:  Haha, I was just scrolling through this post and thought this was a sea urchin for a second! hahaha, still laughing!

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