(Closed) Did you change your engagement ring?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 107
2 posts
  • Wedding: December 2014


I totally get you and I think youre very brave to bring this up!  I dont get why we are expected to love the ring we are given even if it is NOTHING like what we want or like. I get the arguments about it being from the heart rah rah rah but its not a token trinket, its something you are going to wear for the rest of your life! And while the ring isnt that important to some people, to others (like me) it is incredibly important. 

I didn’t like my engagement ring. I LOVED what it represented but it was an heirloom ring that had been in his family for a very long time and practically the opposite of what I would have chosen.  I wasnt expecting a proposal and it was an amazing suprise, but after a day or two I realised that the ring just wasnt me. The result was being reluctant to show it off for over a year because I just didnt like it. I wasnt proud of it.  Made me feel like a right ungrateful mole but I couldnt help it and the feeling didnt go away.

Long story short when I bought my wedding band the jeweller told me the engagement ring needed to be reset, which Fiance didnt want to do. I suggested a new ring and he agreed, so i got to design the exact ring i wanted.  It is PERFECT and 4 months later I still stare at it every single day.  I realise that I was lucky here with Fiance not wanting a reset of the old ring, but still. 

Sorry for rambling on, my point is if you really cant live with the ring, and it sounds like you cant, find a way to get a new one.  It is soooo worth it to have something you completely adore, and if you can do it without upsetting Fiance, so much the better. If he gets upset, he needs to be upset and then get over it. He’s going to be your husband and he has to respect your opinion and preferences, and having a strong preference for a particular type of ring is not unreasonable!! Good luck x 

Post # 108
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have changed my mind and upgrade my e-ring. Like you, I have a very specific ring in my mind. And don’t get me wrong, I picked the first ring but only because I wanted something he can afford it…. then, something major changed in our life. We are no longer in finance distress… so I upgraded mine and paid the differences.  

HOWEVER, that only because my Fiance told me from the beginning that he wants me to pick out my e-ring. 


If your Fiance constantly ask you those questions, it means what you told him already damange the relationship. If I were you, I would stop mentioning upgrading the ring. It juts not worth to let a ring damage a relationship.  HOWEVER, I would buy an annivesary ring that fit what you want.. maybe … 1st annivesary? Wink

Post # 109
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

@Pie86 I totally agree! 

@cheapblingring I definitely don’t think you are selfish or wrong for wanting to upgrade your ring, especially since you said over and over again that you wanted something on the larger side.  I don’t kow why your Fiance would fight you on changing it when he’s known what you wanted to whole time.  For me, jewelry in general is personal and an engagement ring even more so!  My guy knows I’m picky, so we’ve agreed to pick it out together!  

Yours is definitely a sticky situation though, since he had help with his family designing it.  I think changing the ring could put you in a not so good position with his family.  He definitely should have reached out to your BFF!  I can’t imagine his family knows you (or your ring preferences) better than her!  

Anyways, don’t let anyone put you down for wanting the ring of your dreams!  I wish you luck! 

Post # 109
471 posts
Helper bee

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cheapblingring:  maybe he didn’t buy you what you wanted because he simply couldn’t fund a way to afford it, Ithink he’ll be extremely hurt, broken, demeaned, put down and not successful enough for you if you upgrade without his blessing. It’s a big slap in the face of f you, your ring means squat because it’s not X!Y, or Z in size 

Post # 110
1245 posts
Bumble bee

If the ring doesn’t define the relationship and is only a piece of ‘metal’, as one poster put it, why not keep the ring as you ering (since you said you want to keep it anyway) and buy yourself your dream ring to wear on another finger? why must it be your engagement ring? Because if you change it, it won’t technically be your er anyway. I’m not opposed to upgrading at all but if he feels so strongly about it, you have a really easy solution that wouldn’t have to involve him At all. 

Post # 111
29 posts
  • Wedding: April 2009

View original reply
cheapblingring:  Seriously that was the tallest ring I have ever seen…

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