Did you change your last name to your husband's last name after marriage?

posted 5 months ago in Logistics
  • poll: Did you change your last name to husband's last name after marriage?
    Yes : (68 votes)
    55 %
    No : (49 votes)
    40 %
    We both changed our last names : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 2
    1195 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I didn’t want to..? Darling Husband was kind of a dick about it at first but quickly realized he was being a bonehead and that is didn’t matter at all, we were still just has married, etc. We’ve been married 8 years now and it’s a total non issue, he even suggested we hyphenate our kids last names, which we did.

    Post # 3
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I voted no, though my wedding isn’t until June. I plan on keeping mine. I hemmed and hawed a lot about it (even made a thread here on the Bee a while back asking for advice about it) and finally realized that keeping my last name would make me happiest. I have had that last name for the first 30 years of my life and I feel it is part of who I am. I don’t want to give it up. 

    My biggest hesitation about not changing it was for when we have kids, as our last names don’t work together hyphenated, but I also felt sad at the thought of having a different last name than my future kids. Our current compromise there is that all of our kids (I say “all” — we want two max! Haha) will have my last name as their middle name, so it’s still part of who they are. But we won’t worry too much about it until we actually do have children 🙂

    Post # 4
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    I didn’t change it because I didn’t want to. I’ve had this name all my life and didn’t see the point of going through the hassle of changing my name legally on documents for both the US and Canada. I doubt our future children will be traumatized by me having a last name that differs from theirs. My husband was a little disappointed at first but it’s a non issue now. I’ve never been much of a traditionalist or a woman who always dreamt about getting married so maybe that played a role in my decision?

    Post # 5
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    I changed my name because I wanted to but also because we are traditional in that sense (everything else is mostly not lol) Also I do love his last name so there’s that. Also I tend to associate my maiden name with the emotional/verbal abuse I got from my dad so it also indicated some-what of a fresh start for me. Logistically it is a PITA to do all the paper/legal work though…  there is no wrong or right decision to change your name. (Had I not gotten married I would have probably changed my name to my mother’s maiden name so there was always going to be a name change for me to be fair)

    Post # 6
    3090 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    I don’t wanna so I’m not gonna. 

    I feel like generally a person needs a reason *to* do something

    Post # 7
    6646 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    No because I didn’t want to. Easy peasy. 

    Post # 8
    559 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Same as above, I just didn’t want to. I don’t see the point, it’s a big hassle, and I’m pretty used to my name after 30 years.

    Post # 9
    5962 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Nope. I think its a sexist “tradition”. I also have my moms last name and like it. My husbands last name would sound horrible with my name IMO. My first name (pronounced differently) is actually his moms maiden last name, so if I changed my last name I’d basically have 2 last names in their culture lol. 

    Post # 10
    675 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Nashville, TN

    Absolutely!! I couldn’t wait to get rid of my first husbands last name lol! My new last name is so much better 🙂

    Post # 11
    389 posts
    Helper bee

    Because it’s MY name. And I like it, and I earned advanced degrees with it. I didn’t become my husbands property and I wasn’t subsumed into his family l. And I don’t want to contribute to a cultural norm where women are annexed into their husband with their names not considered as important. My husband and I agreed that we would flip a coin of her had children for the last name of the first and switch off for any later. 

    We both believe in fairness and full equality.

    Post # 12
    2684 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Voted yes and no regrets. Been married almost 8 years now and identify with my married name just as much as I ever did with my maiden name. 

    For me I wanted us to have 1 surname for our family. His is already hyphenated so that wasn’t an option for us. 

    Post # 13
    4585 posts
    Honey bee

    Nope. My husband is taking my name. This way is uncommon here but not thaaat uncommon. But still not the norm. 

    I was going to keep all my names and add his to the end, but he wanted to take mine. 

    Post # 14
    469 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    No. Because I don’t want to change it, I like my name.  I am also a medical professional with degrees and publications with my name.  H thankfully was fine with it.  I would not marry a man who insisted I change my surname to his.

    Post # 15
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    I changed my last name because I wanted to and I also wanted us to have a family name and I knew once we had children I wanted all of us to have the same last name.

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