Did you change your last name to your husband's last name after marriage?

posted 1 week ago in Logistics
  • poll: Did you change your last name to husband's last name after marriage?
    Yes : (68 votes)
    55 %
    No : (49 votes)
    40 %
    We both changed our last names : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee

    I changed my name but I’m not really traditional and we don’t plan to have kids. I just like my husband’s name more. And I think everyone should do what works for them and their newly created family.

    Post # 32
    Member
    3145 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We both changed our names. I didn’t feel right changing my name to his, but also I didn’t like my last name and told him I didn’t want him to take mine (which he offered to do). But we did want to have the same last name and we thought it would be fun to pick something new. So we did! And yes the legal aspect was kind of a hassle.

    Post # 33
    Member
    419 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I am very traditional so yes, I changed my last name to his. It was important to me for many reasons that I don’t feel like elaborating on, but I am glad I did even though I know it’s “just a name”. I ended up changing my middle name to my maiden name though because my family name was also very important to me and I didn’t want to lose that. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    623 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I kept my name. I don’t like the vibe of giving up my name – it feels like becoming somebody’d property. Also, I HATE paperwork.

    Post # 35
    Member
    252 posts
    Helper bee

    Changed my name and I love my new one. It took a while to adjust to my new last name but it’s been almost three years now and feels completely natural. I understand that there this is a patriarchal tradition, but I feel like I’m still an equal member of our marriage, while my husband, daughter, and I share a name together as a family.

    Post # 36
    Member
    819 posts
    Busy bee

    I happily changed it. I did not feel like my maiden name was some integral part of my identity (switching last names doesn’t negate any of my accomplishments in any way so that wasn’t even an argument) and besides, I was happy to become part of my husband’s wonderful family. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee

    I did with my first, but I only added my ex husb surname on the end. I’m back to my maiden now. 

    With fh I will do the same. He didn’t expect me to as it’s not customary  in French, Atlantic Canada. 

    But its something sacred to me and I love his dad so I want to. 

     

    Edit.. in Canada your name is not “changed”. So if your maiden is on other legal documents  that is acceptable.  You only receive the right to “assume” his surname. You are permitted to use yours, his, a combination,  or to switch back and forth  as you desire. You simply present your marriage certificate and the change is made instantly. 

    To “change” your name is a big legal process not normally associated with marriage, more with adoption etc. 

     

    So with my first marriage I only used his surname on my drivers license, bank and a few charge cards. I kept my passport and some other things in my maiden as it’s easier traveling, matches my birth certificate. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    57 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    bctoquebec :  I didn’t know this!! I was thinking about what a hassle it’s going to be changing my passport and stuff (and costly!). I’m from Alberta! 

    Thank you for this info!!

    Post # 39
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2017 - France

    I voted No. I live in France got married here and women don’t usually change their last name. My name is still legally my own but socially I use my husband’s last name. 

    Post # 41
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - Wedgewood Las Vegas

    Very happily changed my last name to his. 

    The process was extremely smooth, quick, and really a non-issue. The only expensive part was replacing my passport, but since I had let it lapse anyways I would have had to pay for it whether I changed my name or not. 

    I’m a published professional as well, and have had no fallout whatsoever since I changed my last name. Not even a single hiccup at work or with any of my contacts. 

     

    Post # 42
    Member
    208 posts
    Helper bee

    One thing I really hate is the assumption that “for us all to have the same name” the woman has to change her name—- that can also be achieved by a man changing his, or by coming up with a new name together.

     

    Ditto “I wanted to have the same name as my children.” It reflects the patriarchial assumption (not saying it is held by people on this thread but it is common) that children will automatically get a fathers name. Why can’t they get the mothers and if the father wants to have the same name he can change his?

    Post # 43
    Member
    61 posts
    Worker bee

    I am not married yet but I am taking my future husband’s name and I am looking forward to doing so. I love the idea of sharing a name with my best friend. It was important to both of us to have one family name. We discussed various options and landed on me accepting his family name as what works best for us. I know it isn’t the same for everyone– but I think it is empowering and romantic to be a united unit solidified with the same name and established as one family.

    Also, FWIW I don’t perceive changing a name as diminishing my personhood in any way. And I also don’t find it particularly progressive to opt into keeping my father’s family name over my future husband’s. I  don’t have any interest in creating a new name. I am a full person and full partner in my relationship. I love that I am able to choose what works for me. And, if the option to choose our own course isn’t the most progressive act then I don’t know what is. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    885 posts
    Busy bee

    I never even really considered changing my name. My mom kept hers. I was given my dads last name but my younger brother and sister were given hyphentated names. Since I grew up in a household with different last names having a different name than my husband wasn’t a big deal to me.

    Post # 45
    Member
    1226 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Absolutely,  hate my maiden name.  Much prefer my married name 

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