- 2 weeks ago
- Wedding: September 2017 - California
I had two miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy last year and one thing that has made the journey harder mentally is that my Darling Husband and I want two children and I am almost 36 already so we feel like we will run out of time. I think if I had no fertility issues I wouldn’t be thinking about this as much, but I have been wondering if we should consider aiming for one instead of two and if it might be better for my overall happiness and quality of life. Based on my diagnosis (unexplained RPL) I have read that I can expect to have a successful pregnancy at some point if we just keep trying. I think aiming for two exacerbates the feeling of time pressure because it sounds like the safest thing would be to have them spaced out by at least one year between birth of the first and conception of the second and at this rate it seems likely that I will give birth to our first af 37 or older. IVF and banking embryos for later FET may be an option for us but so far we have not tried it for financial reasons and if we have to pay out of pocket I don’t think we will have more than one full cycle even if we get poor results just because the costs are so high. Curious if anyone here went through a similar thought process and if you ended up deciding to stop at one because of difficulties getting or staying pregnant and advanced maternal age. If so how did you think it through with your partner and how did you get comfortable with the idea if you originally wanted multiple children?