- 1 year ago
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
Nope. Dh and I are both planning to hypenate one day (only 3 syllables total and it’s already LO’s last name), but haven’t gotten around to it. As the days go by, it just matters less and less.
Not married but have talked about it. I said “would you ever consider taking my last name?” Him: “nope,” me: “then why should I change my last name if you wouldn’t be willing to change yours?” Him: “good point, I don’t care what you do then!” I feel strong about keeping my name. I am the only true Last Name in my family and that’s important to me. We don’t want children, so we don’t really need to worry about that. I also hate the norm of Mr and Mrs His First His Last. I know society seems to be straying from it but I would hate to be reduced to just his name. I’m my own person too!
I always wondered if two people with the same last name ever wondered if they were related but got married anyway or if they would feel icky about marrying someone sharing the same last name in case they’re related…
As to your question, we both kept our names; professionally it would have been confusing otherwise.
Firstly, I just did not connect with his name. I didn’t like how my first name sounded with it. It sounded clunky. I don’t like his name. It’s sounds rude and it’s hard to spell. My name is easy to spell and very common.
I also had completed my masters when we got engaged. I worked really hard on it and I felt Loz24 HisName was just waltzing in and taking all the glory for the work I did. I know it’s not rational but I realised a large part of my identity was associated with my name. I also attend a lot of external meetings for work which always start with round the table introductions and I didn’t want to go over why I changed my name at every meeting for the next 6 months but using my maiden name for work just felt cumbersome (probably because of the other reasons though).
As I said earlier, my name is really common. I have an uncommon spelling of my first name but even with the uncommon spelling there are hundreds of me around. I’m really hard to find on social media because I disappear into the masses. I like my privacy. With my husband’s name, I would be one of two with my name (she also has the uncommon spelling). She’s far more accomplished than I will ever be and I guess I also have a bit of inferiority complex.
At the time. my husband wanted me to take his name but we talked and he gets my point of view. Now, he doesn’t really care. We sometimes call each other by our surname so we still continue with that. Our surnames also start with the same letter, so we call each other ‘Mr D’ and ‘Mrs D’. We’ve agreed that if we have kids they’ll have his surname but if we have a boy they will have my surname as a middle name (my surname also doubles as a boys name).
I have a lot of issue 3 years on with people just not getting that my name hasn’t changed. I frequently get post to Mrs HisName and it’s starting to piss me off. I’m a millennial so I understand how to change my name on Facebook, if I’ve not changed my name on social media (which is the most visible way people will see) then it’s safe to assume I’ve not changed my name. I also had this conversation at work the other day were my male colleague was asking how he didn’t know I didn’t change my name. Why is what I did with my name of any relevance to you, random bloke at work? I’ve also been asked why we bothered getting married because we were already cohabiting, we’ve not had kids and will actively say we aren’t trying (after 3 years of marriage) and haven’t changed my name. I wish more women would change their name then I don’t feel as much as an outlier. Sorry about the rant at the end.
Never considered changing my name; I’m not a piece of property, but a person. It has never been a problem.
It’s interesting to see the split on the bee. Any of the friends I have who married on the younger side have all changed their names so I don’t know many people who have kept theirs. I think my friends who get married later will be more likely to keep there’s. Although I don’t plan on changing mine it won’t really bother me when we get Christmas cards etc to mr and mrs his last name.
I’m not married yet (this August!) but I’m keeping mine. I just don’t see any point in changing it. If he gets to keep his without a second though, them I’m keeping mine =P
I added FHs name to mine. No hypen – just two last names. I have a long name anyway so figured why the hell not. Any kids will take just FHs last name.
I kept mine. I have an identity, a life, and degrees in my name. I am me, and wearing jewelry/filing joint taxes this year (woo!) has no bearing on that. I have no reason not to, outside of “it’s tradition,” which I don’t think is a good excuse for literally anything. Some of my coworkers ribbed me about it but I give less than zero fucks about their thoughts re: what it says on my passport.
Honestly, I don’t see it as a hill to die on. I never got a choice in my surname, and it was bestowed on me by my father, another male figure. I love my dad and we’re pretty close, but it just makes more sense to me to have my husbands name now I’m married, rather than my dads. It symbolises to me that we are starting our own family.
I don’t see the point in hyphenations. I come from a generation where many of my peers had hyphenated surnames and they were long, unweldy and now they are getting married and/or having children, some of them they face difficult choices about dropping one of the names off and hurting either mum or dad.