Did you change your name after marriage?

posted 6 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: What did you do with your name after the wedding?
    Took your partner's : (81 votes)
    63 %
    Kept your own : (42 votes)
    33 %
    Hyphenated : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    555 posts
    Busy bee

    We both assumed that I would change to his name, which I did, and we are happy with. 

    Post # 62
    Member
    1183 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    My previous last name had been my ex-husband’s. I kept it because it is also my daughter’s last name. When we got married, my husband asked that I take his name, as he didn’t love the idea of me keeping my ex’s name. I totally understand his position on it, and I’m traditional in that sense anyway, so I took my current husband’s name.

    Post # 63
    Member
    2357 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My husband wanted me to change my name. I said no. I said he should change his name to mine. He said no. In the end I kept my name.

    I hate my father. He’s a total and utter douche and I have very little contact with him. That being said I have an ethnic name and I choose to take the good with the bad. I did not want to give my up heritage and put a common name with my name which doesn’t sound good. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    I’ll be changing my last name.

    Honestly, I’ve just never felt a super strong connection with my last name. I feel like my identity is more in my first name, which is rather unique. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t have any contact with my father or that side of the family – I feel like that can’t really be it, because I do have a large immediate family that all have my maiden name (except my sister, who changed her last name after marriage).

    But I don’t think my last name is really wrapped up in my connection with my family. We were always part of “the Mom’sMaidenName family,” despite my mom and all of us children having my father’s last name. So I feel like I’ll always be a “MyMaidenName” even if legally I have my husband’s last name. Changing my last name doesn’t change that.

    Also, I would like us to have the same last name. I’ve always kind of assumed I’d change my last name after marriage, since that’s what everyone I’ve known has done, so maybe that’s the reason I never felt a particular connection with my last name. Regardless of the reason, the thought of having my FI’s last name does make me happy.

    Out of curiosity, I did ask my Fiance a while ago if he would ever consider changing his last name to mine. He said he’d consider it, but he said he’d rather not, especially since he feels like it’s a connection to his father (who passed away a couple years ago). Regardless, he doesn’t care if I change my last name or not.

    Now, if my Fiance had a last name I hated, there’s no way I’d change it to his lol. He did agree if he had a really terrible last name, he’d change his name to mine and we’d give our children my last name. But luckily he has a last name that I love, so we’re both happy.

    Post # 65
    Member
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I REALLY didn’t want to have the hastle of changing my name everywhere, also for feminist reasons I don’t like the idea of giving up my name, so we both kept our names. My husband was perfectly fine with that.

    Post # 66
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    I’ll take his last name happily, because it’s short and lovely. Also, I don’t have much of a connection to my fathers side of the family whose name I carry, soo…but if I’d feel different, he’d change his name in a heartbeat, we really just want to share one.

     

    My only wish was for him to get rid of the diacritic on his name, before I take it, because those symbols always make problems. So we’ll at least suffer through the name changing chaos together. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    Reading all the responses has been interesting and insightful!! Did not change my name, and feel strongly about it. Our names are such primary identifiers and I don’t understand why I would have to change this aspect of my identity just because I’ve decided to spend the rest of my life with someone. My name also connects me to my grandma who has passed. If I disliked my last name, maybe I’d sing a different tune. If we ever have children, I’d be fine with them taking my husband’s name … Hyphenated names are too long and just don’t roll off the tongue nicely to me. Husband’s family is quite traditional… Hope they’re not offended 😅

    Post # 68
    Member
    46 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2019 - City, State

    I never liked my surname and always wanted to change it in marriage. Thank god my fiance has a nice one that sounds ok in both our countries. And i am going to change my first name as well to avoid gross transliteration.

    And i like the whole idea of changing the name for husbands: having one surname in the family just feels right and easy and the fact it is woman changing hers is just a tradition nowadays. As many traditions it lost its real sense but ageing made it kinda cute, just as all those things that people have been doing for centuries

    Post # 69
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I took his last name legally, but socially I did the “nee O’Mally” which means Granddaughter of. My grandma was my best friend and I lost her a few years ago so that’s my way of keeping her name going. 

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