Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
This is going to sound utterly selfish, but I "test drove" my husband’s last name, and let me tell you… it was a pain. I had to have 5 minute conversations about it every time I had to whip it out… at the grocery store, at the mall, at Junior League… you name it, if I had to say it, it was a conversation. Mr. Peng’s last name is 15 letters long. Anyway, after 2 weeks of trying it, I kind of gave up. I think I’m going to keep my maiden name until we have children.
Did you change your last name? Why/why not? Did you do something you thought you wouldn’t (like me, for example, I thought I’d change my name immediately, but I probably won’t for a few years). Are you happy with your decision?
I really don’t mind not having the same last name as my husband. I kind of feel like a Rogue wife, though. Haha.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2020 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA
I voted yes, but technically I haven’t done it yet…. pure laziness 🙂 I’ve still changed it according to my friends and work, but I haven’t gotten to the legal part yet. It’s on my to-do list for the next few months!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
Hehehe Cupcake. I would be lying if I said laziness wasn’t a factor. FLAT OUT LYING. The DMV SUCKS!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2008 - Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles
I changed it everywhere and I have to admit that I love it. I had a long-ish last name before and now I have a super simple last name. It still throws me for a loop when people call me by my new last name or I see it on mail. And I feel a little strange saying it– I’m not quite used it to yet. But I’ve pretty much embraced it because it’s so much easier for people to pronounce 🙂
Post # 6
I changed mine (adding my maiden name as a second middle name). I went from something that got spelled wrong constantly to a three-letter easy-peasy name. So far I love it and I have been surprisingly happy with the transition. I agonized over whether to change it and now am really happy with it.
The reactions I get are "oh, that’s easy!" or "that simplifies things!" I love not having to spell my name or worry that people are going to enter it wrong and then I will be unfindable. The second middle name has been a bigger pain than changing my last name, because on things that require all my names (like my car insurance) they changed it to say "Maiden NewLast" as my last name even though I clearly put my maiden name in the "middle name" box.
Post # 7
I haven’t changed it yet, and I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do about it. I’m trying to also figure out how many middle names you are allowed in California. Really, the option I really want to do (but I have to go through the whole court deal) is: [First] [Middle] [Mom’s Last] [Maiden de NewLast] I know it’s kinda long and crazy, but it’s what I want to do. It seems confusing but basically my name would be something like Sally Jane Smith Jones de Garcia. No one can ever say or spell either of our last names correctly and they are both about 8 letters long. I just don’t want to lose any of my family names, but I haven’t gone and done anything about it yet because I’m also JUST PLAIN LAZY!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2020 - Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana
I changed mine right away. My coworkers made fun of me, because my new last name is just as long as my old last name, so they couldn’t figure out why I was so quick about it. It was just one of those things that made me feel really MARRIED so I couldn’t wait.
Post # 9
I’m not married yet, but early on in our relationship when talks of "if we get married" came up, I made it clear that I would not take his name. My guy knew me well enough to not be surprised or take offense. I am open to blending or somehow incorporating both of our family names. He has suggested he take my last name, which I would never ask him to do. I’m not sure his family would understand. So right now we have not come to a final decision.
Post # 10
took my maiden as my middle name (didn’t have one before) and use all three professionally until people get to know me by the new one. I figured I would either do it right away or not at all. Even though I am a professionally, pretty independent woman, I like the idea of us all having the same name, now and when we have kids. It makes it feel more like a family to me! It is a pain, but eaiser to do right away – I think the longer you put it off, the less likely you get around to it – and also its less explaining to do if you do it right after the weddnig than a few years down the road!
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2008 - St. Catherine of Genoa, Jin Asian Cuisine Restaurant
I changed mine to Mr. T’s, and my middle name is now my maiden name. I thought it would take me longer to get adjusted to it, since I was really torn before, and felt super attached to my maiden name. Despite it being longer (9 letters vs 3), my new name actually gets mispelled LESS often!
I still use my maiden name professionally though, despite it not being my legal name.
Post # 12
I haven’t gotten around to it yet either…and I’m very happy to see I’m not the only one! My husband thinks I secretly don’t want to change my last name and has been teasing me about it, so I think I’ll have to get to it soon. I’m still not used to the thought of having a different last name and still give my maiden name when making reservations, hair appointments, etc…only after I hang up do I realize that I need to consciously start using my new last name 🙂
Post # 13
I voted "other" because I have not yet, but probably will end up hyphenating. I recently wrote about this here…
It’s such a big decision, and I am definitely struggling with it. I think that if I weren’t planning on having children, I would absolutely keep my name, but those little ones change everything I guess, don’t they 😉
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
I’m still debating. I have a Japanese first and middle name; I swear my current last name is the only "Caucasion" or non-Asian name that goes with my first name. Even Mr. Sushi tells me that my name "sounds stupid" with his last name. Plus, being in the military, my whole career is based off of my last name. I’m Sgt Sushi, not Sushi-san. It’s going to be hard to get used to being called a different name and continuing my career with that name.
I’m sure I’ll eventually change it to his though, because:
1. He has a son with his last name and I don’t want our future kids to have any other last name than his, that way you can distinguish that our kids and his current son are siblings.
2. I don’t want a different last name from our kids.
Post # 15
Well, my degree is under my maiden name, so at work it’s still going to be Ms. MaidenLast, MD. But socially I want to be Mrs. NewLast, to have the same last name as our kids.. I don’t know how to go about this legally, though– has anyone found a good solution? For now the plan is to change it legally and make my last my new middle… our last names have the same cadence and ending syllable so his last name actually sounds very natural with my first name.
Post # 16
I legally hyphenated. I was never planning on changing my name — I am a scientist, with publications under my maiden name. However, my husband pitched a fit about how we would never be a family (please, a last name does not define a family) but it just wasn’t worth the arguing, so I legally hyphenated. However, I never use the married half of my name (unless we are doing something jointly — like mail we send out from both of us just has his last name on the return address)… when it comes to everything professionally, or calling to make doctor’s appointments, etc…. I just use my maiden name.
My husband’s name is ALWAYS misprounced (and then people spell it the way it is misprounced) and I absolutely loathe the mispronunciation. My name, on the other hand, is so simple that nobody has ever mispronounced or misspelled it. Why mess with something that is so easy?