(Closed) Did you choose any of your bridesmaids strictly out of obligation?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I didn’t put anyone in my bridal party out of obligation. Instead, I have a second group of girls “House Party” who will serve as “guest attendants” I told them their job was to attend to the guests while the bridesmaids attend to me. So far everyone has been quite happy.

Post # 4
Member
3323 posts
Sugar bee

Sort of. Fiance requested that I include his sister and SIL. I personally wanted a small wedding party, so that was my only gripe about adding them. I’m not super close with either of them, but see and talk to them often enough that it didn’t feel totally weird. 

Post # 5
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Yes! Two of FI’s groomsmen’s SOs. Both for the same reason, if their man walks down the aisle with another girl, they will flip the heck out. So I asked them to be BM’s to avoid potential drama. One is his SIL and the other is a very good friend’s long time Girlfriend. 

Post # 6
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I asked my SIL out of obligation. It got ugly. So my advice is, don’t ask anyone to be in your bridal party out of obligation.

Post # 7
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My SIL asked my Fiance and I to be in the wedding party.  Even though we had already agreed to give her another role in the wedding, she said that family should trump friends and wanted to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  It’s been so frustrating ever since, and now she is pregnant and will be 3 days from her due date at our wedding.  

 

I definitely say do not ask anyone out of obligation.  It is you and your FI’s day, and you especially don’t want anyone who will add extra stress and drama. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

?My friend has to do this right now and she is driving her crazy. Her dad and the Bridesmaid or Best Man dad were cops together(partners I guess you call it?) so they are very tight knit families. If she wasnt a bridesmaid her dad would have said something, so she had her.

I hope someone doesnt try to weasel in my wedding party cause it aint happening! Lol

Post # 9
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am not having a wedding party to avoid that situation 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i absolutely want everyone i selected in my bridal party.

 

Post # 11
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My mother forced me to have my sister in my wedding. I absolutely would not if I could do everything over. She didn’t help with any planning whatsoever, showed up late to the bridal shower (that she didn’t help with), barely made it to the church on time, and dyed her hair bright orange (not red, orange like a pumpkin) and put strange dark brown extensions in it. Her hair was clearly out of protest that I was getting married first (she’s older), as she knew it would ruin my wedding photos. She’s hardly in any photos, and the ones we did have printed with her in it are only in black and white. 

I think it would have been happier for everyone involved (excluding my mom) if she wasn’t in it. I only did it to appease her because she cried when I suggested excluding her. We don’t talk anymore, and barely spoke to one another by the time of my wedding four years ago. The only reason I see her is to maintain a relationship with my nephews.

Post # 13
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

Yep. Both of my FSILs, but I do like them a lot so it’s okay. I would feel bad not having them there. 

Post # 14
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsEdamame:  I would have photoshopped those photos too -.- I cant beleieve anyone would do something so spiteful like that!

Post # 16
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@Liss13:  It was awful. In retrospect, it was a very poor decision to have her in the wedding. She’s pouting (yes, pouting) in all of the family pictures because we didn’t include her boyfriend at the time in them. In the last 10 years, she’s dated at least 7 or 8 different guys — I wasn’t going to include him, and he had no interest in being included. 
She’s pretty dramatic and spiteful when the attention isn’t on her. I deleted her on Facebook because I didn’t agree with several of the things she posted (this was just last year), and she called my mom crying about it and begging my mom to force me to re-add her. Seriously?? She’s in her 30s.

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