(Closed) Did you choose any of your bridesmaids strictly out of obligation?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ALL of my BMs were chosen because they are who I wanted to sand me the day I am wed. I would NEVER have a Bridesmaid or Best Man because of it was expected of me. I understand why other brides “have to”, but I am way too old and ornery to put up with that crap.

Post # 33
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yes, and it’s really annoying now when I am being given a hard time by this bridesmaid. 

Post # 34
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I feel like everyone secretly feels this way.. unfortunately!

Post # 35
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
@WeddingGirl88:  wow that sucks. Sorry you have to deal with that. 

Post # 36
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Was going to have my fiance’s friend as my Bridesmaid or Best Man so she wouldn’t feel so bad but I decided not to have her.

Post # 37
Member
2113 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Fiance and his sister don’t really get along, so I told him that it’s up to him whether or not she becomes a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I asked that he make my brother a Groomsmen, but my siblings and I are close and I’d hate for him to feel left out. His sister is still on probation, so to speak. We’ll see if she screws up royally before choosing.

Post # 38
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I asked my SIL to make my Fiance happy, and she has been amazing!! TBH, I’m SOO glad I asked her because she has helped me in so many decisions now. Its nice to have someone to talk to who loves planning, because I do not.

Post # 39
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I didn’t have anyone out of obligation. But, it hindsight, there were a few that I could’ve done without.

Post # 40
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

Yes, most of my bridal party (four out of five) is obligatory and none of them are related to me.  I was a bridesmaid in three of their weddings.  They each assumed that they’d be in mine, even though we’ve grown apart.  The other begged me, yes begged me, to be a bridesmaid.  We were close in college, but that was years ago!  The thing is, I don’t really care.  I don’t have a maid of honor because frankly, I don’t see the point since I’m not having a bridal shower or bachelorette.

My three closest friends won’t be in the bridal party at all.   The truth is that I’m close enough to them to reason with them.  I pointed out that they’d get to wear whatever they wanted to (and probably something much nicer than a bridesmaids dress). I’ve asked them to be the ones to make speeches at the reception, etc.  My very closest friend won’t be able to make it at all because she’s scheduled for a c-section the week of my wedding.

I know my plan sounds funny, but it’s so much easier for me.  I’ve never viewed a bridal party as being a big deal.  The only reason I’m having one is for me fiance.  I’m not expecting anything from any of these women (other than that they show up).  My goal is to have everyone in a joyous, festive mood and if these “obligatory” women will be happier as bridesmaids, rather than as regular guests, so be it.  Like I mentioned, my bridesmaids are not expected to do anything but show up.  I know I’ve always preferred being just a guest, but that’s just me. 

 

 

Post # 41
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

My mom asked me if my only brother could be my bridesmaid groomsman. LOL!!!

I would rather my brother be the Master of Ceremony as his sense of humour is killer.

Hm, can’t say I have any obligatory bridesmaids at the moment. I knew that I only needed one Maid/Matron of Honor. I’d rather prefer have more flower girls than bridesmaids. There’s nothing like seeing FI’s nieces’ faces light up when they feel so princessy for a day!

Post # 42
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I didn’t want a bridal party at all, but Fiance has a really close group of friends and wanted his best man at the very least, so I didn’t really have a choice. We have four on each side now and I picked them myself.

 

Post # 43
Member
4677 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My sister was obligatory. It wasn’t stated outright, but she’s always assumed that she would be my MoH (I don’t know why – we don’t get along) and I know my mother would’ve caused problems if I didn’t include her.

I compromised by not having an Maid/Matron of Honor – just BMs.

 

Post # 44
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I wouldn’t say that I did…but I definitely feel like I was asked to be a bridesmaid out of obligation. It is a friend of mine that lives out of state that was a bridesmaid in my wedding. She asked me…but I feel like it’s just because I asked her. And honestly, I’d rather she wouldn’t have. I talked to her about it but she just acts like I’m crazy.

Post # 45
Member
1594 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

sort of. she blackmailed me and it was a nightmare so I put her in.  Wish I didn’t but she was messing up a lot of stuff

Post # 46
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

My fiance’s sister was a obligation.  I was under the impression from him that I had to have at least one of his sisters in the wedding from certain comments he made. I would have preferred only three girls. She made number four. I asked her, she agreed, 3 months later we went to try on their dresses and she had a complete attitude about everything they had to try on. She had smart remarks about every dress I put her in. I am a strong person but I was almost in tears about the situation. It was either cry or smack the heck out of her…lol!

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