Did you combine finances? How\'s it going?

posted 11 months ago in Finances
Post # 16
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

We did about 4.5-5 years ago.  We’ve been married 5 years.  We also have a 4.5 year old and 2 year old.  With kids and the fact that neither of us have expensive hobbies or cars (substitute whatever in here) it is easiest just to have everything combined. Also, my husband doesn’t have the time or energy to do finances so I do all of our finances and for the most part I do about 95% of the spending.  He buys haircuts, or smaller items here and there but not much.  I purchase pretty much everything.  We do talk about larger purchases like cars, houses, furniture, vacations but that’s about it.  He does not have a debit card to our account but we use a shared credit card for all expenses. Scenario works for me because I’m in control and I do the spending anyway (groceries, bills, clothing, daycare, etc) and he doesn’t have to bother with it.  We don’t fight about day to day money although we have fought about which couch to buy before (twice!) lol.  

Post # 17
Member
2895 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

We got married in August, we’ve almost always operated as it’s “our money” but we have not yet joined our bank accounts. I’m changing my name after the New Year so we decided to not do anything until then, just to make it easier so I didn’t have to order a new debit card, change my name on all of our documents, etc.

I’m not sure how much will change once we actually combine since our mentality is its our money, for instance he’s not going to take “his” money and make some large purchase without talking to me about it, and vice versa. 

Post # 18
Member
781 posts
Busy bee

futuremrs2020 :  We’re the same. We’re currently engaged but while the money’s in separate accounts, there’s no material difference in where it comes from. Our investment accounts are still in our names and untouched and we consider that “our” savings for a future house. 

We have a joint credit card that gets great points that we put the majority of our purchases on. When we first got it we only put “joint” things on it, like our electric bill or groceries for the house, but as time progressed we both started putting all of our expenses on there, like lunches we get at work and stuff. I will give him a heads up when I clothes shop or whatever, and then we either split it 50/50 or one of us will pay it if we just get around to it first. We have a general sense of budget and it hasn’t caused any issues yet.

Post # 19
Member
4187 posts
Honey bee

We combined finances right after marriage, which meant I suddenly incurred a lot of debt lol. My husband is the earner, my jobs since I had children are strictly part-time and much lower pay than his. I’m always the one to encourage spending while he’s the cautious one. We sort of cancel each other out lol, but it works.

Post # 20
Member
8068 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

pussinboots07 :  we’re an all-in family. All of our banking and taxable investment accounts are joint. A few of our credit cards are technically separate just because we’d had them for so long, but we put everything into Personal Capital and pay all the bills from the same pot of money. I would like to consolidate our cards though since they’re becoming a bit unwieldy, but otherwise it works out well. I owned the house and had more money than him before we got married but as far as we’re concerned that doesn’t matter – we’re married and we live in our home together and it’s ours. It only matters if you get divorced right? And we don’t plan on doing that. And even if it happened we have a child and both of us are in agreement that her needs come first – we have friends who are dealing with exes who use the kids as pawns in their breakup and we both agree that we would never do that. My parents are divorced and are excellent co-parents. 

 

Post # 21
Member
2795 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We combined finances completely after getting engaged, and it’s still going great after 1.5 years of marriage. One or both of us has always been a student throughout our relationship (I still have another 3.5 years to go minimum) so I can’t even imagine having his money versus my money. It just wouldn’t have worked for us to keep things separate and we are super happy with how things are. 

Post # 22
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We have a joint bank account which we use for everything. It works great for us. We also kept two individual accounts where we transfer a certain amount every two weeks for personal spending. It just didn’t make sense to me to have two separate bank accounts as a married couple who works towards goals together. Early on, I brought in more money than him due to his student loan, now he brings in more money than me, it all balances itself out. And now that we are expecting and saving for a child it just makes so much sense to work as a unit. 

Post # 23
Member
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

We currently have a joint household account and credit card, but we plan to fully combine everything when we get married in a few months. I have already cancelled my personal credit card and if I ever need anything personally (rarely), it comes out of our joint account or card. Mostly the same for FH except he has something he wants to finish paying off before we get married, otherwise we would have already combined everything. How we handle things: I make sure bills get paid on time and track finances. However, I know nothing about investing, so he will be handling that side. We file taxes jointly and all our big savings are handled jointly as well.

We both grew up with the “what’s mine is yours” mentality in our families, so we are really happy to be doing things this way. We never fight about money and have a team mindset.

Post # 24
Member
2518 posts
Sugar bee

We lived together before marriage and had been very open about all our financials, but we didn’t combine finances until after marriage. By the time we got married we had roughly equal assets, though he makes substantially more than I do atm. Thankfully neither of us had debt. 

Right now we have one joint bank account. Then we have a variety of other accounts (investment accounts, high yield savings) that are technically in only one of our names, but we consider “ours.” At the moment his paycheck gets direct deposited into the joint checking and that’s what we use to pay our bills, whereas my paychecks go into our high yield savings. Like PP, we track everything on Personal Capital so we can see what is in all of the accounts at once. We also have made each other authorized users on the CCs we actively use (so I use his travel card for travel expenses, he uses my rewards card at the grocery store, etc.), and they get paid out of the same joint account. As we open new accounts we’ll probably make them joint, but for the moment this system works for us. 

In general, combining finances has been great. My salary was very difficult to live on alone, whereas dh makes a comfortable amount, so combining means we have equal spending power. Living on his salary and saving mine also means we are saving collectively more than we were before, so it’s mutually beneficial in that regard. I also like the “what’s mine is yours” mentality — it would feel weird to me to be married and not be able to afford things my husband could or vice versa. 

Post # 25
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - City, State

We combined our finances as soon as I moved in with him, about 10 months before the wedding. We do talk before making any large purchases (over $100) usually, but it’s not like we keep tabs on what each is buying. 

Works out very well for us.

Post # 26
Member
378 posts
Helper bee

We combined finances once we got married and we hardly ever argue about finances. And if we do it’s minor. Having said that we never really argued about money.

We do keep a small percentage (10) in individual accounts for personal spending cause we feel we should be able to spend some small amount of money without having to justify or answer for it.

Post # 27
Member
2774 posts
Sugar bee

We have not combined finances and I’m not sure if we ever will.  However, our money is very much shared money and so far, finances have never been a point of contention in our relationship, so I don’t see us changing anything anytime soon.

We are also older and while he has older children, we won’t be having any together, so I think it’s a little bit different.

 

Post # 28
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We got a joint account when we got married. I handle all the bill paying and monitoring of spending, it’s worked out really well for us. I still have one separate checking account that is free (so I figure why ditch it?) that our car payments come out of.

Post # 29
Member
2594 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

We decided to combine finances when we got married. It has worked very well for us. Honestly, I think combining finances makes things a lot easier and makes things more transparent. 

My husband had more in his checking account so I slowly added my funds to his and made it a joint account. We also have a joint savings through the same bank, hence on the same App and easy to access. 

We each had 1 credit card each that we like and so we use those still separately. We usually only use them for very large purchases to get points. Or to buy each other gifts 🙂 

But in all honesty, I think when you join finances it’s easier to see things as “our” money instead of your money or my money. I think marriage really should include merging finances to some extent. When people have completely separate accounts, I think financial goals and spending limits are harder to stick to. We both watch our checking account and make sure we save enough. I pay all of the bills myself, but this way, my husband still sees when the bills are paid and how much is coming out so he’s not in the dark with our expenses.

Post # 30
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

We combined finances after living together for about a year and a half. In the beginning he swore we would never combine accounts. It really bothered me but I let it go. Some time passed and he came to me on his own and said he wanted to combine them. We want that same day! It is so much easier than having them seperately and it really helps us to see our combined financial resources. Before we had combined accounts it was really difficult to know what was in the other person’s account. We don’t really fight about money except I’ve failed to talk with him about “big” ($50+) purchases before and that caused a bit of disagreement. He’s definitely more of our saver. It’s been really cool to see our bank account go from literally nothing to a healthy balance over time. It makes me feel like we’re on the same team. Also, we still have seperate credit cards but we only use them for emergencies and we talk about using them first. We actually don’t even keep them in our wallets because after listening to the Dave Ramsey book together we decided it wasn’t worth it. 

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