(Closed) Did you consider a destination wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: Did you consider a destination wedding?
    we never seriously considered the option : (19 votes)
    23 %
    we thought about it seriously, but decided against it : (21 votes)
    26 %
    Yes, and we are having one! : (29 votes)
    36 %
    Yes, we are having one, and also a 2nd reception or "open house" celebration closer to home : (12 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    7122 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    cantwaittobeemarried:  None of the poll options fit me, but yes *I* considered it and really wanted to. My Darling Husband and dad were not game….mainly because they wanted a big wedding…ha…and my dad was insistant my grandma attend. Fortunately we were in a position to do the big wedding and while it was awesome and I loved it I still would have been happy with a Destination Wedding. 

    In my expereince the reception is the expensive part – so I never understood the having a Destination Wedding and then an at home reception mainly due to the costs. If you’re worried about people who can’t travel consider a domestic destination wedding vs an international one. That would help guests with cost and such.

    Post # 3
    Member
    3332 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    We are having a semi destination wedding. We did consider a full destination wedding in Mexico/etc, however I really dislike pushing the cost of the wedding onto the guests. Doing it this way would cost people minimum $3k (per couple) to come, and I couldn’t justify asking people to spend that much. I also wanted some elderly family to join, and they do not fly (but will drive).

    So we are looking at still mostly destination (because few people live in the area) but it is 5-7h drive for people. So still technically a Destination Wedding, but people do not need to fly (unless they want to, and it’s relatively cheap), we are doing a non-long weekend so that hotels won’t be outrageously expensive, and people don’t need to take *as much* time off for it.

    So far FIs parents have said ‘not to worry about the cost’, but considering their (not great) financial position and the lack of any real specifics, we are not counting on their $.

    For you, I think you can still have some say. 140 just from your parents seems honestly, outrageous. I wouldn’t have any qualms in asking them to cut that down, even if they are paying!

    At home receptions are a thing, but we will not be having one.

    Post # 4
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I decided against it because of the financial burden to our guests. I knew there would be certain people that would definitely go even though it’s not in their budget so I didn’t want to put the stress on them. We optEd for a small wedding in my hometown approx 60 guests which are only our immediate family (siblings, parents) and best friends – we both have huge families and recently purchased a house so a big wedding was not doable. Best of luck if you feel overwhelmed by the cost of a big wedding by all means consider other options like a smaller restaurant wedding. a big wedding is not for everyone and cost is a major setback. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    6854 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    We did a Destination Wedding with an at-home reception coming up next month! 

    The #1 reason we decided on a Destination Wedding was because we wanted to get married in an intimate ceremony surrounded by just our nearest and dearest. My husband and I are both not fans of public speaking or being the center of attention, so the idea of 100+ people staring at us while we said our vows was a no go. So we did a Destination Wedding in Puerto Rico with only 28 people total (including us). It was truly wonderful. We felt so happy and loved.

    The at-home reception is really more for our parents. This way they get to invite all their friends, our extended families, etc. but we don’t have to stand up in front of all of them and do our thing. It already happened! Best of both worlds in our opinion.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    3800 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    cantwaittobeemarried:  Hubby and I did have a destination wedding; that’s not one of the options so I didn’t vote. There were some family members that weren’t able to make it out to Manhattan, but most of our immediate family was there and even some cousins and best friends. I’m glad that the celebration was smaller because I, too, was overwhelmed trying to plan a big, expensive party that neither one of us really wanted. I wouldn’t change a thing! We are not really having a reception/celebration here at home, we’ve had small celebrations with various family members and friends, but Mother-In-Law wants to throw me a shower.   

    Post # 7
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    cantwaittobeemarried:  I’m having a destination wedding in October for that very reason! My fiance and I knew if we did a regular, traditional wedding that we’d have to invite 200+ people (he has ten aunts and uncles alone and 14 first cousins) and that we’d be stressed and planning for a year for an event neither of us really wanted. Instead, we rented two huge villas in Rome and invited 30 people to stay with us. All anyone has to pay for is their flight. It’s costing us much less than a traditional wedding (we rented on AirBnb) and we’re having a low key stateside reception when we get back for everyone who was not invited to Rome. Yes, we’ve upset a lot of people. But ultimately we’re doing exactly what we want and in the six months since I’ve started planning, I’ve been nearly stressfree about the whole thing. It’s certainly not for everybody but if you feel strongly about having your wedding a certain way, then I say do it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: Backyard

    Darling Husband and I would both have loved a destination wedding, we like to travel a lot as it is. However, we never gave it any serious consideration because it was very important to us that our grandparents be able to attend – they’re all in their late-80s to mid-90s and although they are all still very capable and mobile people, none of them travel by plane anymore.

    Post # 9
    Member
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Our wedding is a destination for about 70% of our guests – we live in Los Angeles but are both originally from other places. We decided to have the wedding here, thinking it would cut down our guest list but nope! People are making a week-long vacation out of it since many of them have never been here. We have the weekend packed with events we’re hosting, but they’ll be on their own some too for exploring and sightseeing.

    By the way I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I LOVE destination weddings. The two best weddings I’ve ever been to in my life were one in Puerto Vallarta, and one in Yellowstone. Yeah it was pricey but oh so much fun and I’ve gotten to visit places I never would have been otherwise. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    319 posts
    Helper bee

    We did a destination wedding for immediate family and a few close friends. We know our family could afford the trip so that wasn’t a big consideration for us. But becuase you have fewer guests we did a lot for them in appreciation of the time and money they spent to be there. We held it in Maui.

    1. Awesome welcome bags

    2. Welcome happy hour and food

    3. Private catamaran/snorkel trip with open bar and great food

    4. Cocktail hour with appetizers and great 3 course dinner with open bar.

    all of this was for the same price as a local wedding with more guests. Also most of my family would need to incur some costs to attend locally because they would have needed to fly in. 

     

    It it was awesome and I can’t imagine doing it any other way. We got to spend a lot of time with our guests While still giving them plenty of time to enjoy their own vacation.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1078 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    We are having a domestic destination wedding for two main reasons.  1) the location hold special significance for us and 2) very few of our family and friends live within driving distance of us or each other, so there was always going to be travel involved for guests.  We are financially helping out people are who coming in from other countries with accommodations or cross country to help ease the financial burden.  We are also having 4 wedding events (welcome cocktails the night before, wedding, after party, and leaving breakfast) to show everyone a good time

    Post # 13
    Member
    1149 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    cantwaittobeemarried:  We did a Destination Wedding and a local reception.  We spent most of our wedding budget on our Destination Wedding.  The local wedding was 1/4th of the cost of our Destination Wedding with 85 more guests. It was definitely not as nice and more toned down.  We had our local reception at a restaurant, family style dinner, 5 hours of open bar, music, and a dessert table.   For our Destination Wedding, we did a welcome dinner with unlimited wine and beer, the wedding dinner with open bar, and a post-wedding brunch (no booze included).  

    Post # 14
    Member
    5876 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    cantwaittobeemarried:  Yes I considered a Destination Wedding – and I had one!

    Why did I have a Destination Wedding: primarily because my Darling Husband really wanted to have one.  We had attended a friend’s Destination Wedding a few years before and during that event he decided that he really wanted a Destination Wedding in order to have more quality time with guests.  In our case other factors that worked in our favor were that his entire family would have to travel regardless of destination (they live scattered across the USA) and my entire family was onboard and was already planning a group family vacation to the destination anyhow.  We talked with our VIPs and knew they were all on board and then we deiced anyone else who came was a bonus.  We had 63 people in the end.

    We did not have an at home reception.  We considered it, but in the end it seemed like a lot of hassle and expense and it seemed really unnecessary in our case.  However, a lot of couples do this.

    Yes, if parents are paying for a signifigant portion of the bill they get a signifigant say in the guest list.  Where exactly the line gets drawn will be up for negotiation between you and them.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3729 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    cantwaittobeemarried: a destination wedding was not financially feasible for most guests, so we didn’t consider it. I personally hate having to spend a ton of money and vacation time to attend one.

    The topic ‘Did you consider a destination wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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