Post # 16
My parents have no say in my wedding. No pay, no say. I didn’t even give my parents the chance to offer to pay (I don’t know they would), because I wanted my Fiance and I to have complete and total control of not only the guest list, but the wedding in general, and I knew that it wouldn’t happen that way otherwise. It is also one of the reasons we are having a Destination Wedding.
We are not having an AHR.
I love traveling and going on vacation. I love going on vacation and travelling with friends. So, let’s go someplace most of my friends haven’t been, and oh yeah, we’re getting married too! Fiance was into it too. I’ve known from the beginning it would not be feasible for all the people we invitedto attend, but I’m okay with that. I’m not a fan of being the center of attention anyway, so to have a small intimate wedding, this seemed like a good idea.
Post # 17
We are currently in Hawaii preparing for our wedding on Thursday! There will be 12 of us total, and although a few (like 5) of our closest aren’t here, I wouldn’t have it any other way! We’ve enjoyed spending this time with our friends and family, that we never would’ve had otherwise.
We will have a reception/housewarming party at our new house in the next couple of months. There will be about 60-70 people and it’ll just be a bbq in our backyard! I’m excited about that too, but I’m definitely glad that we didn’t have a traditional wedding!
Post # 18
We thought long and hard about this and even went to Hawaii to check out venues but in the end the sheer cost and burden it would have placed on our friends Stateside (mine would have had to travel far anyway and can afford it) would have been too much. Many of FI’s friends have just started families or are on the verge of starting them (trying for kids, trying to move into their forever homes etc) and in the end it was a combination of two things: cost + the fact that there aren’t too many nice venues in Oahu. (Maui was out of the question as it would have been a 30 hour one way trip for my folks.
Our parents are both kicking in some money for our wedding and we chose to get married at a much smaller venue in Socal – but we invited everyone ourselves, and only immediate family.
Post # 19
thanks for all of the unput ladies! it’s so helpful to hear the different perspectives. Keep it coming! I still can’t decide what to do…
Post # 20
We considered it, especially in NYC where we got engaged. The one thing that stopped me was I’m the only child so there is much emphasis on me from my Mum and she very much wanted the traditional wedding day, plus my step-dad struggles with flying. Looking back we had a fantastic day and we know we did the right thing but with the small amount of wedding guests we had we could have easily just done a destination wedding.
Post # 21
- Wedding: August 2017 - Rome
We are doing a wedding in Italy. Only inviting 8 people! We will be having a buffet party back home 4 weeks after the wedding for everyone else!
I think a wedding is more personal when its smaller.
Post # 22
- Wedding: January 2017 - Maui, Hawaii
I voted “yes and we are having one” because the at home reception part is still up in the air. We originally said we would have an AHR, now I am ready to nix the idea completely, but my fiance still wants to have one. A destination wedding was something my fiance had told me he wanted since before we even started talking about marriage. I was more unsure because I do have close older (late 90’s!) relatives who would not be able to attend, but ultimately, it’s more important that my fiance is happy with our wedding. What I would like to do instead of a big AHR, just have a small dinner for the VIP’s, like my nonagenarian relatives and his siblings who cannot attend the Destination Wedding. I would wear my dress and my fiance his suit, and have a photographer there to take pictures with these relatives.
We also considered straight up eloping. My fiance thinks of our Destination Wedding as an elopement that will just happen to have guests.
Post # 23
We are getting married while on a cruise. Just the 2 of us. We’re getting married on the beach at Grand Cayman. This way we are wrapping our honeymoon and wedding together and don’t have to worry about entertaining anyone. We will have a “Happily Every After” party the month after which is just going to be a BBQ or something super casual at our home. Nothing expensive. Our parents are unable to contribute so we’re spending most of our money on the cruise.
I have a friend who got married in Vegas and she had a good number of family and friends go out there. Then they had a reception when they got back and she was able to wear her dress again for everyone. It was really nice to get the feel of celebrating their day even though we couldn’t be at the actual ceremony.
Post # 24
My Fiance and I are having a destination wedding (although it’s still in the US). We used to live in Michigan, but recently moved to North Carolina, and are getting married in South Carolina a few hours from where my parents and siblings live. However, it made sense to us because our close family/friends live in AT LEAST 10 different states. No matter where we had our wedding, 90% of the guests would have had to travel. We chose our dream venue and all of our immediate family/close friends will be there all weekend, so we are really excited!
Post # 25
sounds wonderful! I agree when most of the family needs to travel, might as well travel somewhere you love! Also: LOVE your user name 🙂
Post # 26
Definitely! And thank you 🙂
Post # 27
I was in a destination wedding and it left a really bad taste in our mouths, so it is not something that we considered. Also, I know a lot of my family would not have been able to afford to attend. We joke about eloping now, but that’s cuz we are are in the thick of planning.
Post # 28
We’re doing a domestic semi-destination wedding: we’re having the ceremony about 3-4 hours away from home, so everyone needs to get a hotel room for the weekend. But since the venue can only hold a very small amount of people, we’re only having immediate family & bridal party (total of about 15) at the ceremony itself. 3 months later we’re having a big reception with about 150 people, so everyone gets to celebrate (and by then our photographer said she’d have all the ceremony photos ready!) It takes a LOT of the stress off of having the ceremony and reception on the same day, and everyone we’ve spoken to about it is okay with not coming to the ceremony, since they know it’s in a place we really want.
Post # 29
I seriously considered a Destination Wedding over and over again. A destination wedding was my dream bcz All I really wanted was a few close family and friends there by my side. The thought of being away on a beautiful beach getting married just sounds so peaceful and relaxing! Plus for a Destination Wedding people will most likely go for 2-3 days so you can prolong the celebration instead of it just lasting a few hours. Unfortunately, my Fiance was not having it. If I had to have a wedding at home I figured lets just keep it small. NOPE . now I have 170 on my guest list with the majority from his side so I get how you feel. I absolutely dread the wedding planning. If you can swing the Destination Wedding I say go for it. It is pricey for the guests though so just dont get offended if some people you assume would go cant make it.
Post # 30
We brought up the topic of a destination wedding just because I love the beach, but it was never a serious discussion. The main reason is that our focus throughout the planning process was that we wanted to make attending our wedding affordable and convenient for our guests. I wanted my guests to feel pampered all weekend. I don’t think I could have accomplished this for families with tight budgets or the elderly as easily.
I was also fortunate enough to have my parents take care of a majority of the tab so we definitely butted heads on the guest list more than once. I think it may have been the most stressful part of the process because it really drives every other decision. In the end, we all made compromises to arrive at a reasonable list. We all started with an “everyone I could possibly think to invite” list and trimmed it down from there knowing that financially it was just not feasible to invite everyone. Maybe your parents’ list is just needing to be trimmed down?
Finally, I’ll mention that our wedding weekend was so special to me largely because we were surrounded by so many family and friends all weekend. It’s really the only time you get to bring everyone together that you, your husband, and your families love in one room for no reason other than to celebrate. I loved getting to feel that much love and support on our wedding weekend!