(Closed) Did you consider a destination wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: Did you consider a destination wedding?

    we never seriously considered the option

    we thought about it seriously, but decided against it

    Yes, and we are having one!

    Yes, we are having one, and also a 2nd reception or "open house" celebration closer to home

  • Post # 31
    413 posts
    Helper bee

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    Pollywog:  This is my feelings exactly. I didnt want to put a financial burden on my guests (and there are genuinely a lot of people in my family that would want to be at my wedding that wouldnt be able to make a DW), and I am always bitter when my closer friends decide to have one, because I know I basically am forced into a vacation and sacraficing probably a vacation I want to be on for it. I know there are people who say you dont have o go, but if its a good friend, I feel like I need to be there (and want to go).

    Post # 32
    302 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I didn’t read through all of the comments, so please forgive me if I am telling you things someone has already touched on! I just posted a thread in “20 something brides” titled something along the lines of “For the brides who want to ditch everything they’ve already planned,” where I explain my experience with wedding planning in full detail if you’d like to read it! But for now, I will answer your questions and give you one piece of advice that really helped me decide.

    If you ever considered a destination wedding, what made you decide yes or no?

    When I first got engaged, I truly did not know what I wanted. I had never really imagined my wedding like most girls. For 5 months, I worked closely with a wedding planner. From day one I was stressed out, unexcited, and worried the whole time about not having everything I desire. But I stuck with it because I had already hired a wedding planner and put a deposit down on my venue. The way I saw it, if I was going to have a big wedding celebration for everyone invited (keyword: everyone), I wanted it be one of a kind. Thinking that way was the first giant signal to me that I should stop what I am doing and change my plans. If you feel at any point like you’re doing this to please other people, you should stop and remember this day is about you and your fiance. No one else! Your situation isn’t very similar to mine, but I can tell the aspect of feeling like you have to please other people is there. Anyways, I’ll go on… The second thing that made me reconsider was the fact that I am a new graduate and a traditional wedding was estimated to cost me $15,000 or more. And I still wouldn’t have all the aspects I wanted and I wasn’t getting much help paying for the day, but my Destination Wedding is costing me around $6,000 including photography, which is about $2,500 of the cost. But the most important thing that influenced my decision to go from planning a traditional wedding to a destination wedding was the fact that when I thought about a destination wedding I was completely elated, and when I thought about a traditional wedding I felt dread. I didn’t even think anyone would want to come to my Destination Wedding. So I was planning an elopment. But to my wonderful surprise, my closest friends and family all showed interest in attending and I am not going without a single person I love. Since getting this Destination Wedding planned, I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s 10 months away but I am so flipping excited I can barely take it. My piece of advice is if you are feeling stress more than feeling joy when thinking about your big day, you may want to consider changing plans and doing what makes YOU the happiest. 

    Did you have a second “at home” reception for those who couldn’t make it? Is that a thing?

    It’s absolutely a thing and we are having an “at home reception.” We will probably order a crap ton of pizzas and have a bunch of kegs and wine. Nothing fancy… Essentially a huge party. 

    How much say should parents have in the guest list? If they pay for 60 or 70% of the event, does that mean it’s not up for debate?

    That’s a tough one, but if they’re paying for these people to come, and you don’t mind, I don’t see the harm… However, it seems like you do mind, and this is your day! If you don’t want them there, then put your foot down and say no! 

    All and all, your post really makes me feel like you’re unhappy with the whole thought of a traditional wedding. Go with your gut and do what makes you and your fiance happy! Good luck to you and I hope you make the right decision for yourself! 

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    Post # 33
    2667 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    We considered a destination wedding for a minute, but decided very quickly that it wasn’t for us. We both have elderly family members (grandparents, but also some other relatives) who wouldn’t be able to attend if they had to travel and it’s very important to us that they’re there. We also knew that 90% of our friends would be unable to afford to attend, including a few people that we were planning to ask to be in our bridal party. Again, we felt it was important for those people to be there. So, we’re getting married much closer to home (although our guest list is only around 110 people from both sides of the family, so much smaller than yours would be).

    Post # 35
    302 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

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    cantwaittobeemarried:  I am so happy you found my post helpful! I try my best to therapeutically communicate with brides on here because 1. I understand how stressful wedding planning can be, and you have a bazillion other things going on outside of an internet post, and 2. I try to make up for the posts from not-so-nice people. 

    And I also understand EXACTLY how you’re feeling right now. Within the first 10 minutes I walked into my local travel agency I felt extremely excited and so relieved. I almost want to cry and I was so jittery. I never felt like that when planning for a traditional wedding. I am having my Destination Wedding at Sandals Whitehouse Jamaica. I already have my whole day set up and waiting for me.

    I don’t know what other travel agencies are like, but the one I go to involves no cost because the agent makes commission off of my booking (it’s a good plus that I live in a small town of less than 5,000 people, so everyone knows everyone and I don’t have to deal with a pushy, unpersonable agent) and my agent made everything incredibly easy for me… It took fourty five minutes and some time online with Sandals to have my day planned. 

    Good luck and happy planning! I hope you don’t hit any road bumps with guests! 

    Post # 36
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I would have loved one if we were eloping. But we wanted our family at our wedding and a destination wedding would have meant close family members (brother, sister in law) would not have been there due to time, expense, being nervous flyers, etc. So it was off the table. 

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