Post # 16
cremecaramel : Yup. I had an on and off-again relationship with my ex, which probably totalled about 4.5 years and I ended it as I wanted to get married and he didn’t. It was heartbreaking at the time, but 5 years later I see that we weren’t right for each other and I wanted to get married for all the wrong reasons. We should have never been in a relationship full stop. I am happy with my husband and he is happy with his wife!
Post # 17
Yes, but I was on the opposite end. My boyfriend at the time really wanted to get married. Wanted to ask my dad, propose, the whole bit. I was just not ready, he was (he was a few years older than me) so we broke up. In the end, it turned out great. I really wasn’t the one for him, he wasn’t the one for me, etc. We are still friendly and see each other every now and again. He met a great girl, she is perfect for him, and I met my perfect match! It all worked out!
Post # 18
A friend of mine was with a guy for about 7 years, from early twenties to late twenties, couldn’t ever get around to actually getting engaged although they lived together for years. Shopped for rings multiple times, “arent you happy with the way things are”, “what would really change if we were married right now”, all the old excuses. Split up with him and moved out, then got back together a few months later, tried it again for just under a year, same bullshit then he proposed in the middle of her breaking up with him. She said no and left. It was march, he was engaged by christmas to a new woman he met. LMAO. She’s getting married next year to someone who IMO is probably the love of her life, they are SO compatible.
I didn’t leave my fiance over it, but we’d been talking about getting engaged for over a year, and I was getting ready to walk out if he waffled on it. He had given me one “rough” deadline and blown it. To be fair, he didn’t realize when he said ‘around Feb/March’ that I was taking it as literally as that. Communication blunder on me for not telling him how important it had become to me after being content with just talking about it for the previous year.
After that I said, “we’ve talked about this for long enough, we’ve been living together for a couple years, we’d both like to have a baby in 3 years or less. If you want to get married to me, you need to act like it. I don’t want to get married to someone who makes it hard to get married to them” He just needed to know that I’d moved from being happy to talk about marriage and planning to a point where it was clearly very important to me to start moving forward with the plans.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all to be honest with your partner and say, look, I’d like to get married, and I’d like to do it soon(ish), so if you want that as well I’d like to see progress, and if you don’t I’d like to know so I can decide if I want to keep investing in this relationship.