(Closed) Did you ever think you would be a lady in waiting (with or without “nagging”)?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Did you ever think you'd be one of "those" girlfriends? How do you think people see you?
    I never thought I would end up having to "overly hint" at my SO to propose already! : (32 votes)
    26 %
    I assumed things would move along nicely. : (31 votes)
    25 %
    I always wanted/thought about marriage from the start and have voiced my thoughts about it! : (13 votes)
    11 %
    Never really thought about it. : (9 votes)
    7 %
    People for sure probably think I'm a nagger, but oh well! : (11 votes)
    9 %
    I try not to make my hints/nagging too obvious : (15 votes)
    12 %
    Who knows what people think! : (7 votes)
    6 %
    Other : (4 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    When we first got together I thought that he would actually propose quite quickly. We had been friends for 7 years already, moved in after 7 months of dating, then bought a house a year later. He is also older and had always wanted to get married. I on the other hand, only ever wanted to marry him and wasnt fussed on anything else.

    So I was quite surprised when we hit the 3 year mark with no ring, then the 4 year mark. So we had to have some quite serious chats, because it turned out he thought you only got married when you want to have a  baby, which is still a few years off.

    I dont think he sees me as his nagging girlfriend though – although he know I am keen!

    Post # 4
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    when my then guy and i first hooked up he wanted to give me a set of keys to his house and suggested i move in, i said not without a ring and he said ok and we picked out the ring a few months later (we paid cash so it took a few months)

    thats the level of my nagging, thank god ive got a really easy going guy

    Post # 5
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Okay, well, I definitely didn’t think that it would be an issue to get engaged because my SO was the one who told me he wanted to marry me before it was a thought in my mind.

    I don’t ever try to make my hints on the DL.  I’ll be straight-forward and be like, “Yo, I want to get married. What’s up with the delay?  Why’d you tell me “soon”?  What on God’s green Earth is “soon” to you?” hahaha!  No, I’m not patient when it comes to things I want!

    However, I can avoid nagging by keeping myself happy with things I want to do for myself.  Picking up new hobbies and such definitely helps.

    The issue for me is that I moved out to California to be with my SO and I have no close girlfriends.  I NEED GIRL TIME!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I never really knew people “waited” until I realized I was waiting. I never thought about it. My SO and I have both known since we first started daitng that we wanted to get married. It’s just been a matter of getting over some financial hardships. Now that he has a job, buying a ring was first thing on his list. I never really nagged, per se, but I would bring it up frequently. I don’t think he minded/minds. We’re on the same page.

    Post # 7
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee

    honestly, back in “dream land” i thought a proposal would be one of those things where i wouldn’t see it coming and it would be this huge surprise (thank you, hollywood). definitely way past that… i’ve been wondering for over a year when he’ll finally pop the freakin’ question.

    of course, we have discussed it. but my point is, no surprise whatsoever.

    Post # 8
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee

    @eloping:  see, i think that’s where i might have messed up. i wanted to make some semblence of progress in the relationship, and we moved in together. granted, for him, moving in was a prerequisite for getting engaged, but i wish i had been a little more coy about the whole deal… i asked him if we could move in together twice before it happened, hopefully not the same deal with getting engaged/married

    Post # 9
    Member
    3587 posts
    Sugar bee

    Nope, because I said if /i ever fell in love, were engaged or married by 2yrs in b/c I’m not waiting forever. Didn’t happen and gave him more time!

    Post # 10
    Member
    2949 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Well, to be honest, aftering getting out of a really bad relationship pre-current SO, I really believed that I had become so jaded that I’d end up as an old woman alone with her books and cats. So yeah, didn’t think I could be in a relationship this wonderful, let alone be waiting for a proposal. To be fair, I’m quite fortunate in that I have not been waiting long (not even six months), we’ve only been together for a year and nine months and we got a definite timeline with the waiting period being used to finish his degree (him) and work on my postgraduate studies (me). And he’s the one who wants to get married sooner than later because he wants to have children by the time he turns 35.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2949 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @katiebeary:  I can definitely relate to the importance of having girl time.

    Post # 12
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee

    I knew this would happen.

    We’ve been together almost 4 years now and I could have told you what would happen when from day 1.

    After a year we’d move in together (because that’s when I’d finish uni), then I’d have to wait 2 years for him to finish university, then he’d need at least a year to save for a ring, and I’d most likely get my proposal around the summer of 2012.

    We spoke about this and both agreed it was a good timeline.

    We’re on track! He’s promised me a proposal before my 26th birthday in early September.

    Post # 13
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Within 4 months of dating, SO told me that he wanted to marry me. We both agreed that we wanted to live together before we got married so we got an apartment together and SO said it wouldn’t be long until he proposes. Then he changed his story to “I won’t even think about it until we’ve been living together for a year” to which I replied “I am extremely confused and hurt because of what you said previously. I want to be engaged by the time our lease ends or I am not renewing it.” 

    Our lease is up in 8 days and the ring is in my house. Of course I am not moving out whether he proposes in the next week or not. I don’t think I pushed him into it, considering he wanted to marry me a year and a half ago, but I do think I’d be waiting much longer if I hadn’t said anything. He’s quite the procrastinator and needs a bit of a kick in the pants sometimes. 

    Who’d have thought that he’d say he wanted to marry me within months and I’m still waiting a year and a half later! I definitely didn’t think this would happen. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I knew I had met “the one” when I started dating my boyfriend and we started talking about wanting to get married VERY early in the relationship (thanks to beer drinking during Notre Dame football games!) but I never thought I’d be this impatient about it!  I keep having to remind him that we’re getting close to mothers day (my friend’s husband owns a small town jewelery store and we’re going to be down there around mothers day so the whole point was for him to pick up the ring then…) and dropping hints about saving for a ring.   I feel like I’ve turned into such a nag, when in reality I’m just a planner!

    Post # 15
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    Yep, when I met him he seemed like an old-fashioned romantic who would be excited about planning a proposal and making it a surprise. Things moved pretty fast too- We started dating immediately after we met (although I had sworn I’d never do such a thing,) he told me he was falling in love with me, and only two months into dating, he said that he loved me, and that he could spend the rest of his life doing so. I didn’t expect a proposal within a year, but it would not have surprised me.  

    I have no idea what happened- we love each other more every day, and have an amazing relationship. Everyone sees that we are meant to be. I’m a little sad that marriage has turned into something I feel like I’ve had to talk him into. He’s come a long way on the idea, but I’ve lost my enthusiasm at this point. I’m tired of being the one to bring it up all the time, to the point that whenever someone asks about us, I avoid the subject. So, there’s no way I ‘nag.’

    Post # 16
    Member
    659 posts
    Busy bee

    I thought that the way things worked is that you date, fall in love, decide this person is the one for you, get engaged, get married.

    The topic ‘Did you ever think you would be a lady in waiting (with or without “nagging”)?’ is closed to new replies.

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