(Closed) Did you feel you “HAD” to ask your sister(s) to be MOH/BM?

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Sister(s) as MOH's/BM's?
    Of course! We're best friends! : (27 votes)
    25 %
    Yes, but only because you 'should' : (51 votes)
    48 %
    No! I chose who I wanted : (28 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    i didnt ask my “half-sisters” or hubby’s.  no one said one thing about it – until after the wedding.  there were all these hurt feelings, which was shocking to me.  i dont get along with these women and they are 10-15 years older than us.  seriously, youre going to plan a shower and go dress shopping with me when we talk maybe once a year?

    dont stress it.  just ask who you want.  sisters will drive you crazy.

    Post # 4
    2058 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Yes 100%.  As a result I knew not to have any expectations thus there hasn’t been one thing thats bothered me.  I have two sister and 1 Future Sister-In-Law that are in my wedding party.  I am very close with my one sister and she is my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I am not close with my other sister and my Future Sister-In-Law at all and so I don’t expect much from them.  They did what they were asked when it was time to order dresses and they were a lot of fun at my bachelorette and shower. 

    Try not to over think anything. If you have no expectations in the long run you might be surprised with how great it is that she is part of your wedding.  Another thing to keep in mind – – down the road when your wedding is all over you won’t want to feel any guilt that your sister wasn’t there standing with you!

    Post # 5
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’ll probaly pick my 2 sisters and my SO’s 2 sisters, only because I actually don’t have that many female friends that are as close to me as they are… not because I feel obligated to.

    Post # 6
    603 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I voted for the 2nd choice…I originally wasnt going to ask FI’s sister to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man because we never hang out and we have 2 very different personalities. But after finding out that Fiance was making his 2 brothers Groomsmen, I felt obligated to include her too. So far she is behaving and we’re getting along but she is kind of financially irresponsible so hopefully she fixes that issue before the various purchases start popping up next year!

    Post # 7
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Me fi and I decided to have 2 people each in our wedding party. This was a no brainer. I asked my two sisters however, I am not chosing a Maid/Matron of Honor. Instead, everyone in our wedding party will be “best people.” My Fiance can’t decide on a best man and hate to point one person out so this works with us. Fi decided to have 1 additional person. I then asked his sister because I felt like I should. Also, all of my friends are still in college and completely broke so it wasn’t fair to ask them.

    Post # 8
    1810 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I’m very close with my sister– she’s my best friend. So I just could not have anyone else be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I feel like my bond with my sister is totally different and way deeper than with my friends, so it was given that she’d be my Maid/Matron of Honor.

    So no, I didn’t feel pressured to have her in my wedding– but I wonder if I would have felt pressured if we were not so close… hmmm… I’m not sure.

    Post # 9
    2289 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    One of my mother’s first statements when we began planning was “please, for the sake of my sanity, include your sisters in the wedding”. Honestly, I think it’s made us closer. I feel pretty lucky.

    Post # 10
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    I wouldn’t call my sister my best friend but we’re very close.  I picked the second option b/c for me, I have one sister and I felt I should have my sister with me.

    Post # 11
    144 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I didn’t – and I think she’s upset with me.  BUT, my Fiance and I only wanted one person standing with us, and it made sense to have my childhood friend of 26 years (including college roommates).  My sister is quite a bit older than me and we’ve never  had a whole lot in common.  My sister’s daughter is my flower girl so I kind of felt like that involved her.  She’s my sister and I love her, but I really just wanted the small (=1) bridal party.

    Post # 12
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    My sister and I are very close, but I was originally going to have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and not my Maid/Matron of Honor but my Fiance said it was out of the question. I agreed, but she’s young, going through her last year of art school, and has no interest in the wedding. My mom has volunteered to take over for most of the planning duties, so my sis as Maid/Matron of Honor is really just a title. I’m not expecting anything of her.

    Post # 13
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I wasn’t in either of my sisters weddings.  But they are both in mine.  My Boyfriend or Best Friend is one of four sisters and her second youngest sister had all of them in her wedding.  But her youngest sister only had one of her sisters in her wedding.  I think unless you truly hate your sister or you never get along  there will probably going to be hurt feelings either way.  But there is no law that says any of your sisters have to be in your wedding party.

    Post # 14
    3004 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I know this is about sisters but we decided that we didn’t want my brother to stand up in our wedding because he hasn’t said anything really about it since we got engaged. He’s been everything but supportive and right now, in the moment in his life, he is basically a jerk. I don’t want that kinda drama in my wedding.

    I miss our relationship before he stuck his head up my parents behind. (It’s sad but true.)

    Post # 15
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m not really close with my sister (7 years apart) and didn’t originally make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man but my mum kept making little comments and so I caved in. So now my Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend and my sister is a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I didn’t include FI’s sister though (long story short- she is not someone I can trust with anything). We’ve got an uneven wedding party though now because I’ve asked my sister to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man (I always envisioned an even wedding party)… ohwell. Better this than my mum being forever snarky.

    Post # 16
    439 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m not having either of my sisters as bridesmaids for several reasons.

    (1) They hate being bridesmaids and have complained about spending money on dresses, showers, bachelorette parties, etc, on multiple occasions, (2) my sister who is already married didn’t have us as bridesmaids (I sang, and other sister read a verse), and (3) if I had them, I’d have 7 attendants.  

    I love my sisters dearly, and they will both be doing readings in the wedding, but knowing how much they hate the bridesmaid stuff, I’d rather them just sit back and enjoy themselves.  I’m planning on hiring a babysitter for my niece the night of the wedding so my sister and Brother-In-Law can have a great time without the stress of wedding party stuff.

    The topic ‘Did you feel you “HAD” to ask your sister(s) to be MOH/BM?’ is closed to new replies.

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