(Closed) Did you Fi ask you dad for your hand?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did your fiance ask your father for your hand in marriage?



    I don't know

  • Post # 107
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    He asked both my parents. He showed up at my parents house the night before he proposed with a bottle of bourbon for my dad and flowers for my mom. He told them he was “in the area” and stopped by. He was there for TWO hours before he got up the courage to say anything. My mom made him stay for dinner and he got super nervous!

    I called my parents twice while he was there for different reasons, and my mom made him promise to propose the next day because she wouldn’t be able to talk to me otherwise.

    I thought it was sweet that he did it, and although I like to think I’m a modern, independent woman, I still liked it 🙂

    Post # 108
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    My Fiance not only called both my parents but he recorded their conversation and played them for me as his way of proposing. It was very romantic and sweet

    Post # 109
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I voted yes but actually he asked my mom. Which was much more special then asking a father who hasn’t been present in my life. My mom was actually in on the entire surprise and helped my fiancé pick up the ring since he wasn’t able to. 

    Post # 110
    44 posts
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My fiance planned to ask me while we were at my dad’s cabin on vaca celebrating our anniversary- and I had NO CLUE! He called my dad to thank him for letting us use the cabin and asked him for permission- when he proposed to me he told me that first lol- and I kept thinking oh my gosh what must my dad have said or thought! My dad was always telling me to wait until I’m like 40 to get married- and the best was my dad called me a few hours after and was like “So what’s up? What are you up to today?” duh dad you obviously know! I later learned that when my FH called my dad, he was at a family party so most of my family was there when my dad got that call. I’m so glad he did- I know my dad secretly loved that!

    Post # 111
    353 posts
    Helper bee

    I didn’t vote because my dad gave my FH his blessing WAY long before we got engaged. 

    Post # 112
    1433 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My Fiance asked my dad on a one on one when I was out for a run~ They are both the macho type so it was soooo heart warming to know that my Fiance humbled himself to ask because he knew I am a traditionalist and wanted it that way.

    My dad appreciated it 1000 fold and thought much more highly of my Fiance because of it.

    My parents knew we were talking engagement and all but to actually have that step included meant the world to me.  I was soooooo elated that my family will continue to be close as can be and my dad will consider my Fiance as one of his own :]

    Post # 113
    3974 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Waaaay before he proposed, in our like second year of dating, my Fiance asked my dad if he should ask him for my hand when the time came. My dad laughed and said “NO WAY.”

    Part of me likes the tradition, but clearly my dad didn’t care for it, so whatever. *shrugs* My Fiance did not ask my dad for my hand. 

    Post # 114
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Fiance took my parents out to lunch, he had the ring and everything and it was more of a, hey im going to propose and you guys better be on board talk, which is pretty funny beacuase he is more on the queit shy side.  They asked him a ton of questions and were very impressed with his answeres! I had no idea they had met, I found out after he proposed and thought it was so great and my parents really appriciated it 🙂

    Post # 115
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    He hasn’t proposed to me yet, but he knows I want him to talk to my dad (and mom!) before he asks me!

    Post # 116
    29 posts
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My fiance asked my dad for permission like 3 hours before he proposed. We were busy setting up for Relay for Life (I’m a cancer survivor and it’s an even my family takes part in to raise money for the American Cancer Society), so it wasn’t a big deal for my fiance and dad to be alone. They were setting up easy ups and tables and all that. So apparently, Fiance asked my dad if he could marry me and my dad says “Of course. Are you going to do it when you go to Europe?” (we were going on a huge month long European vacation about a month from when he proposed) and Fiance says “No, I’m just going to do it today” and he ended up proposing that afternoon. It was super cute and totally him. My dad was a little shocked but said OK. Fiance said later that he did it that way becuase when my sister got engaged, her husband asked my dad like 3 months before he asked her (before he even bought the ring) and everyone except my sister ended up knowing she was getting engaged that day. She couldn’t call anyone and let them know because they all already knew. 

    Post # 117
    97 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    He asked both my parents because they are divorced. My dad as a formality and my mom because she is the parent in my life. 

    Post # 118
    64 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My Fiance went to my house while I wasn;t home and asked my dad, mom, two sisters and my brother all at once about a week before he proposed. He showed them the ring and told them all how he was going to propose. My father’s answer? “It’s about damn time.” xD

    Post # 119
    285 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I told my fiance that the only person he needs permission to marry me from is ME.  So no, he did not ask my parents; he spoke to me about his intentions Laughing


    edit:  My parents weren’t the happiest about him not asking.  I guess they just were hoping for the formality.  My mom’s a jeweler and we got my rings from her and she gave me her engagement diamond from my father….  so it’s not like it was any kind of surprise to them, lol.  Oh well, I had the proposal of my dreams, so I’m happy.  

    Post # 120
    12 posts
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I have very complex family relationships – but the breakdown is this:

    • Bio father abandoned my mother and I before I was born and to this day still is the most irresponsible person I know. However he’s father-of-the-year to my two younger half siblings.
    • Step father and I have had a rollercoaster relationship over the years, in the past 2 years we are on a up side.
    • Maternal grandfather; this is the man that raised me as his own daugther. I very much saw him as a father. He always supported me and believed in me. I love him more than the air I breathe and always will.

    The kicker out of this whole situation is that when my Fiance proposed to me he told me point blank he didn’t ask my parents (which caused some family drama), but as he took my hand, he said this (and I’ll never forget this because it broke my heart),

    “I know that I’m supposed to tradtionally ask your dad, Jess, but I didn’t… instead I asked the one person who’s word mattered most… I asked your grandfather the night before he died (which had been 4 years earlier) and he said yes. He said he knew I would honor and love and cherish you… So, my beautiful princess, my little spitfire, my love, will you marry me?”

    And I fell even more in love with him because he knew how much my grandfather’s death had affected me. He had planned for, God knows how long, knowing that the only blessing I would have ever wanted came from the only person that was in Heaven.

    Post # 121
    2623 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Nope and I didn’t expect him too. We actually talked about getting married on our one year anniversary and it was easy we came to a mutual agreement, I thought we wait a few more years but he didn’t see the point so we picked a wedding date. Three months later being  the romantic he is, Fi went all out with a weekend away with massages, flowers, chocolates and decadent dinner and presented me with an engagement ring.

    I really appreciated how we approached our engagement even if some people didn’t find it romantic. In my last relationship before this one I resented the fact that my ex had full control and it was more about him and his own timelines without my input. I know what is traditional however that just not my style. I just not the kind to wait around for someone so I just moved out when the lease is up and I’m happy I did because if I hadn’t I would have never met my Fi, and I would have never had the time to just be single, which was good for me.

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