(Closed) Did you fiance ask your dad's permission?

posted 8 years ago in Proposals
Post # 47
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee

I did want my husband to ask my dad’s permission. And he did. I view of it as more of a respect thing than a property thing. I have just always wanted that. 

 

And on top of that, my husband asked my parents if we could go on a date. And THEN asked if we could officially date as boyfriend and girlfriend 5 months later. 

Post # 48
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

DH actually kind of asked both of my parents and they were in on the proposal too. The night he picked up the ring he went straight to my parents house and when he walked in they asked where I was, when he said he was alone they pretty much figured out why he was there (we were together for a little over 8 years at the time and had already been discussing marriage). He showed them the ring and they were both so excited. He didn’t really ask “permission” but more so for their blessing. They decided it would be a good idea to plan dinner at their house the following night and they were so happy to be able to be there for the proposal. I had absolutely no idea, we never went ring shopping together, I only told him what I liked, needless to say I was in absolute shock because I really wasn’t expecting it. It was perfect and being close to my parents I was very glad they were able to be involved!

Post # 49
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My fiancé did not ask for my dad’s permission/blessing, but both of our parents were aware of our plans in advance. He was worried they would react badly (we are in college but have been dating for 4.5 years), so he wanted us to each talk to them beforehand. My mom was thrilled that I was so happy, but his mom strongly advised against it. He proposed anyways and our entire family is very excited….except for his mom haha!

Post # 50
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Absolutely! It was important to both him and I that he ask both of them. He insisted on doing it in person, as that point mattered a lot of him– so we drove 13 hours (from North Carolina to Michigan) and spent a week visiting them so he could ask them. After dinner one night, he asked to speak to both of my parents, and told them his intentions for his life with me, and asked for both of their blessings.

Obviously, they said yes, since they love him and know how deeply we love each other. It was a very sweet moment, and a wonderful way to begin an engagement!

Post # 51
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@otto2008:  I don’t have parents so it would have been sort of hard for my husband to ask. He did speak to my uncle though (who is like my father) and he was over the moon. I would have married my husband regardless. I don’t like the idea of my husband asking for permission to marry me. Even the blessing is a bit much for me.

Post # 52
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee

I am not in contact with my Dad so there was no option to ask him. However he could have asked my Mum but neither I or my Mum particularly wanted that (for my Mum it was partly out of fear that she would accidentally tell me or drop hints etc!)

In the end he didn’t ask my Mum which I’m glad about as it was a nice surprise for us both. It turned out he told absolutely no one he was going to propose!

Post # 53
Member
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Nope!! We talked about it, and I specifically preferred he did not. 

Post # 54
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@otto2008:  he didn’t ask fr permission but he let my dad know of his plans. It was important to me and him to do this. They went to dinner, had some beers and my husband told him how awesome I am 😉 

Post # 55
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2016 - The Fox Hollow

He didn’t necessarily ask for permission.  He came to  my house, told my parents he was planning to ask me to marry him, showed them the ring and said “I know the tradition is to ask for your permission…” and my mom cut him off and said “OF COURSE YOU HAVE OUR PERMISSION!” and my dad shook his hand and said congratulations =) I love that he went to them.  Tradition is tradition and while I am not “owned” by anyone that needs to “give me away” it is still a beautiful thing.  Ultra-feminists will tell you otherwise.  Just have a conversation with him =)  Make it fun, go out to play pool, to dinner, drinks, whatever.  Keep it light and have fun! Conrats! =)

Post # 56
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@otto2008:  my dad didn’t ask my mother’s father 30 years ago, which i thought was unusual, so he definitely doesn’t expect my SO to ask. also, when i was growing up i always told him i wouldn’t want my SO to. he agrees, and has made comments to that effect.

i’m pretty sure my SO hasn’t asked (and i’m 90% sure we’re getting engaged this month!) and won’t. i’m happy with that – we’re adults, it’s about us, and my parents will be thrilled! 

edit: after reading other responses, i want to clarify that i wouldn’t be upset if he did, it’s just not something that has any meaning to me, we’ve been together nearly 7 years, and all our parents know that we’re going to get married, and we all get along great with each other’s parents. we’re super independent and it just doesn’t feel like ‘us’. but if i find out he went old school – that’s great too! 

 

Post # 57
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My fiance told no one other than the family friend jeweller he ordered the ring from.

We had lived together for 4 years at that point and already considered ourselves in it for the long haul. There was nothing for my father to give permission to.

Getting married is a decision we have made together and I like that it didnt require any input or formalities from any outside parties in order to proceed with it. He had already become an important part of my extended family and I had become a part of his.

Post # 58
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My dad passed away (I would have rather he not asked my dad’s permission anyway, I’d prefer my mom’s if he asked anyone’s) but he did ask my mom 🙂

Post # 59
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Fiance told/asked my mom (she helped him pick out the ring) and he took my dad’s buddies out for a beer and told them (my dad passed away a few months before).

Post # 60
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Hired hall

@otto2008:  My fiancé just sort of let my dad know he would be proposing, he didn’t ask for his permission but just gave him notice of what he was going to do. My dad loves my fiancé anyway and had been dying for us to get engaged, so he didn’t really need to ask. Plus, I was 24 with two kids and my own house, it seemed silly to be asking permission to marry haha

Post # 61
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

Mine did ask my father – I told him I would like it if he did.  Let’s be perfectly clear, I am completely independent.  I knew that my father would appreciate the gesture and would be super excited and supportive.  He’s very traditional (although we are not), and it meant the world to him. I didn’t view it as a “permission” thing at all, more of a courtesy and a bonding moment for my dad and future fiance.

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