agreed with PP, get a second opinion about your profile, preferably from someone with some experience in online dating. sometimes we don’t realize how our typed descriptions might read to a stranger. pics are really important too, no more than one selfie, no confusing group shots, nothing overtly sexual, and you have to include at least one shot showing your whole body, no matter how insecure you might be about it. guys don’t like being deceived by the angles and you wana make sure you’re getting someone who likes you for all of you anyway! it’s usually a good idea to include pictures of yourself doing activities you really enjoy so prospective suitors can get a visual story about your personality. please please please try to avoid basic profile text such as “I love to go on adventures!” or “if you wana know, just ask!” or any version of “I love to netflix and chill” or “I’m down to earth” because those phrases are common filler that tell you absolutely nothing about a person. You want to include a couple really personal, unique fun facts that will stop the right guy in his swiping tracks and make him think ‘huh, that girl sounds different than the others, this one looks interesting, etc’ because unfortunately your profile is just swimming in a vast sea of other beautiful fish. you have to find some way to stand out to the kind of guy you’re looking for. I would also HIGHLY recommend, maybe reevaluate how picky you’re being..attraction can certainly develop after getting to know someone, and some men just really aren’t photogenic, but totally delicious in person when you can see their smile and hear their laugh. also, from my many years of dating experience, most men don’t “know how to be”, especially when approaching a girl for the first time, and especially especially when trying to sound cute or clever via an online forum. text speak can read creepy when it’s meant to be flirty, or rude when meant to be funny, and a lot of these guys would talk however the hell you want them to if you would just tell them what to do! things that might come across as offensive to you might just be the unfortunate product of some bad advice they got from a friend. give some of them a chance, call them out when they’re being gross and see if you get any fun back and forth from them. sometimes they really will be duds, and thats the beauty of online dating, you block em and move on. but some will apologize and admit they’ve never done this before and aren’t sure how to break the ice. and it’s always fun to use those experiences as stories for your next chat buddy..tell them about that one guy who messaged you that totally awful pickup line and laugh about how exhausting online dating is.
I’ll be honest, it takes quite a bit of sorting through frogs, but there are lots of princes out there and if you stick it out you’re sure to find one. One last piece of advice, if I can make an app recommendation in particular, Coffee Meets Bagel was a godsend for me. It seems to attract a more respectable crowd and gentlemen who were very explicit about wanting a long term relationship and not just a hook up. However, you get less choices daily, the app shows you one match a day and you have the option of buying more if you choose. I did a lot of research on the science of online dating and it really is true that the problem today is too many choices. A guy might see a girl he likes but when you know you have an unlimited well of women to choose from, you’ll keep swiping in the hopes that someone better is right around the corner.
Just kidding! One more reccomendation!! The book, Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb. It was a game changer for me and really helped get me in the right mindset when looking to pick a partner.
If you actually read this far, YAS, thanks for humoring me. I met my boyfriend on Coffee Meets Bagel and we’ve been together over a year. He’s the one for sure.