(Closed) did you get a promise ring before e-ring?

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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socalgirl1689:  I got ‘promise earrings’ for Christmas in 2011 and we got engaged in 2013.  DH knew I wouldn’t want a promise ring at that point – we’d been together for 7 years but I was in school and we couldn’t afford a ring or wedding at that point (both were important to us – the ring more to him belive it or not, the wedding to us both).  He didn’t put the box under the tree, he gave it to me after we’d opened gifts and handed me the box saying ‘it’s not a wedding ring, don’t get to excited’ because he knew a box of that shape would make me think RING! He told me the earrings were to ‘buy him time’ and a gesture of seriousness in eventually getting married.

In 2012 he bought me an expensive purse for Christmas – the ring came 3 months later.  He jokingly said he hoped the purse would keep me quiet for a bit.

Post # 3
Member
549 posts
Busy bee

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socalgirl1689:  I didn’t, my Girlfriend feels like we already know we’re going to get married so she’ll just give me the real thing. I always really liked the idea of promise rings though…alas my girlfriend? Not so much. That’s ok though. ๐Ÿ™‚ What did you do with yours after you received your engagement ring?

Post # 4
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

I got one on our second Christmas together! It was very simple, cute and not very expensive. ๐Ÿ™‚ He actually ended up proposing 6 months later…so it’s not like he was really trying to buy himself time, lol. We both just thought the idea of him putting a cute little ring on my finger was really sweet and it made the perfect Christmas present. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

I’ve heard a lot of people online say that promise rings are “so highschool” but I’ve never had anyone IRL snark me about it. A few people asked if it was a wedding band or something but I usually just said “Nope, it was a lovely Christmas present” and that was that. 

Post # 5
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I did, and I loved it. I still love it! I don’t wear it anymore, but it is a special, cherished piece of jewellery. I got it our second Christmas together. We got engaged 2 Christmases after that, and married the following October.

Post # 6
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I personally don’t like the promise ring concept unless you’re really young and even then, I’m not a huge fan. 

The cost of the ring is irrelevant (going by What OP said about the promise ring being nowhere near the cost of an e ring), and even the existence of the ring is irrelevant. You can get engaged and married and no rings need to be involved unless YOU want them to be. If you want to be engaged, be engaged. If you’re ‘promising’ to propose in a year, two years, whenever, why not just be engaged and have a long engagement? It just seems kind of pointless to me. 

No offense meant to people who have promise rings, love promise rings or are hoping for a promise ring. 

I just feel like the concept is kind of like Valentine’s Day. Not a real thing, it’s just well marketed so people spend that extra couple hundred dollars. 

Post # 7
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I had a promise ring from my ex.  Obviously that didn’t work out haha.  When he gave it to me he said “this isn’t a promise to get engaged but this is a promise I will love you in some way, shape, or form forever”.  I think about him every once in a blue moon and think about how different my life would be (not in a good way).  I loved the concept of promise rings when I had mine, but now that I’m older I don’t really “get it”.  I thought my ex and I would get married some day and obviously that didn’t happen (thank goodness!!).  I think most women see promise rings as a promise to get engaged, but I don’t think guys always see it that way.  My vote is for dudes to save their money and spend it on the engagement ring instead.

Post # 8
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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socalgirl1689: I got one with my first engagment from my (now ex) Fiance. Funny enough though I personally am more aligned with
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MrsWhitneyC2015‘s feelings about promise rings because for me it seemed like a waste of money and I found it often confused people. They’d ask “so if that’s not an engagment ring then why did he give you a diamond ring?”

Also to be brutally honest it was a “buying time” tact but for me. I was young, didn’t understand what I wanted, didn’t want to marry this guy (although I had trouble figuring that out at the time), but didn’t want to be single. Admittedly I know it was wrong of me to accept because I never wanted to marry him but in my mind I thought “if the guy you’re dating wants to be more serious and you’re still with him.. you say yes”.

Fast forward 2 years and now I’m with the man I could never picture my life without. We didn’t do a promise ring and for us it didn’t matter. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I see promise rings as for young (in college or younger) couples who don’t want to get engaged yet because they’re not ready to get married but want to show that they are invested in each other.

The only person I know IRL who had a promise ring got one from her college boyfriend after a few years of dating. They didn’t end up getting engaged/married.

Post # 13
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

The ring in my picture is my promise ring. I got it a few months after we had been dating and I love it. It’s small and simple, but means a whole lot to me. It meant a lot to hi too. I gave him a promise ring. Because we knew we wanted to get married, and we were old enough, but the timings just not right yet (I’m in nursing school). To us they have the sentimentality  of being a simple of being united (just not legally yet). That being said, we’re finally paying of my e-ring TOMORROW! So they worked for us! I really think it’s up to the individual couple whether or not they want to get them. Some do, some dont. 

Post # 14
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think promise rings are a great idea for younger couples who know they want a committment but just aren’t quite at the marriage stage yet.

I personally dont know anyone who has gotten one, maybe its a regional thing? I was 30 when I got engaged to my Fiance, so being that old a promise ring would not have gone over well with me…

Post # 15
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

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socalgirl1689:  I got a promise ring, a little over a year after we started dating.  I was 33 at the time.  We have now been together for 10 years, and engaged two of that.  I was NOT happy to get the promise ring, but part of that was because of my age. I felt I was to old for one.  

I am NOT saying I felt it should have been a engagement ring, just that if he wanted to give me a ring, do it because he wanted to, not to promise anything.  

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