(Closed) Did you get married and have children in your late twenties or early thirties?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
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  • Post # 2
    Member
    5136 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

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    briaharris23: this answer will vary. it depends on where you are in life. Are there things you wanted to get done before having kids like buying a house or having $X saved up, traveling, etc

    I was 26 when i got engaged, 28 when we got married, and I was 30 when we had our first child.

    Buying a house is something we want to do but won’t happen til later on (maybe like 6 years) because where we live, houses are $$$ and I wat to have a significant amount in savings for a down paymt and emergency money. Plus childcare is a very big expense right now.

    Post # 3
    Member
    8600 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I think that’s the normal time for people with higher education (beyond college) and/or in urban areas. I wouldn’t consider either till late 20s, your brain is still developing and the maturity and financial independance is just not there typically. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    876 posts
    Busy bee

    Agree with PP, it really depends on where you live, what your personal and financial goals are and if you and/or your husband you want to accomplish anything before having kids.

    I got engaged and married at 29. We wanted to have established careers, be completely done with any kind of grad/business school etc., travel extensively, have the kind of wedding we wanted and pay it off in full, buy a home in a great school district that was within commutable distance to work and have significant savings before TTC.

    We started trying once those things were in place and now have a 4 month old. Everyone’s goals are different but those were ours and I’m glad we did it that way since we wanted to incur all the big expenses and have experiences that may have been harder to do with a child before DD was born.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1619 posts
    Bumble bee

    I got engaged when I was 25 and married when I was 26.  I am 31 now, and we are still undecided about whether we want kids.

    As for when the best time to get married or have kids, well that is really a case by case thing. Only you know when you are ready for that next step.  But I always say it is best to wait until you are self-sufficient and done with school (if you are going to school) before getting married.  It just helps if both parties are on solid footings before you take a big step such as marriage or kids.

    Post # 6
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I think it depends on you and your SO, where you are in your lives and your future goals.

    I’m 24, when I get married next year I will be 1 month shy of 26. But Fiance and I don’t plan to have children until our mid-30’s as we want to establish our careers further, travel and buy a house before we do so.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3791 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

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    briaharris23:  I never knew when I would get married, honestly. In college, I never dated anyon seriously and most were only 6 month relationships, if I was even in one. I spent most of the first couple of years after college hanging with my friends, which all of us were single. I look back and am happy with that.

    My first serious relationship didn’t happen until I was 24-25, and that is when I knew that I really wanted to get married. He was my first love, or the first person who made me understand what being in love meant. Unfortunately, the relationship ended. But, after it, like I said… I knew I was ready.

    I didn’t meet DH until a few months before I turned 30, after being in a few relationships prior (after the one mentioned) and it not working out, and then being single for awhile to allow me to figure things out. DH was already in his 30’s (he’s 2 years older). We got married when I was 33, and he was 35. We’re TTC now, and celebrated our 1-year of marriage in October.

    Do I wish we would have met when we were younger? Of course, but you just never know what path life has for you.

    On the other side, my SIL and her hubby have been married since they were 23 (we’re the same age). That’s all she knows, and has never lived on her own and dated a couple guys in HS before her hubby, but that was it. Her path was VERY different than mine. But, although they were married younger, they didn’t started TTC until after 3-4 years of marriage. That was when they wanted to wait.

    • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by Kacie209.
    Post # 8
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’ll be 31 when we get married. I felt like I was finally ready in my late 20s for that step. We will probably be trying for kids shortly after the wedding. we would like at least 2 and the later you get into your 30s the harder it can be. (Not for everyone, I know!). Everyone is different though but I do feel like we got to enjoy just each other for awhile and travel. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2864 posts
    Sugar bee

    I am 38 now and have a 6 and 8 year old (just turned) and had first gotten married when I was like, 29.

    I would have never been ready earlier.

    On the other hand, my girlfriend had a kid super super early and now her child is grown and she’s still in her 30s and has gotten her ‘freedom’ back completely if that makes sense.  Depends on you.

    Post # 10
    Member
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: Breckenridge, CO

    We started dating at 28, engaged at 29, will be married at 30

    it was good for us- we both completed grad school, we both traveled a lot and my fiance was in the right place in his career where he felt “ready” for something serious

    people who stop at bachelors marry earlier generally 

    Post # 11
    Member
    7991 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    it depends, every situation is different. 

    i lived with a guy out of college, and we talked marriage.  but i relized he wasn’t the right person for me.

    i didn’t end up meeting up husband until i was 30, we got married at 32 and are having our first child in april (i will be 34)

    i owned my home prior to marriage, actually i bought it soon after we started dating.  DH was renting, so it wasn’t an issue for him to move in with me when we determined that the time was right.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee

    As others have said it really depends on your situation. We met at 23, got married at 28 and most likely won’t start TTC until we’re 31 or so (we’re the same age as each other). 

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    4615 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    We got engaged at 26 and are getting married this year at 27. We are the first of our professional (JD, MD, PhD) friends to get married, but we’ve been together for over 8 years. Like PP mentioned, it definitely depends on your priorities. Even though we knew that we would get married eventually, we wanted to finish college and our professional degrees first. I also didn’t want to be planning a wedding while I studied for the bar; we got engaged shortly after I found out I passed.

    We would love to buy a home, but even small houses where I live are over $500k and we have FI’s grad school debt, so we won’t be home owners for at least a few years. We’re definitely not ready to have children yet, but have said that we will start discussing timelines for that when we hit 30.

    That being said, the best time is when both you and your partner are emotionally ready and financially independant. I have a few friends who got married younger (23-25) and they aren’t thinking about kids yet either.

    Post # 14
    Member
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor

    We started dating when I was 20, got engaged at 24, married at 25, currently have our first baby on the way who will be arriving when I am 28. DH is 11.5 months older than me. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    My husband and I started dating when we were 17. We got engaged and bought our first home at 24, and we were married last summer at age 25 (closer to 26 though).

    We just bought a bigger home though (not moving until Summer 2017 though because it’s a newbuild). So we want to hold off on the kids until at least then.

    If everything goes according to plan, we’ll be 27-28 when we have our first child, maybe a bit older depending on how hard it is for us. TBH I’d love to start now, but we’ve spent the last 5 years saving for our wedding and for down payments on homes, so it will be nice to not be worried about money for a few years. Also, it doesn’t hurt that literally NONE of my close friends are married or even engaged, so I feel no pressure to have kids right now.

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