Post # 1
Yesterday was the day we purchased the 2.06 ct salt and pepper kite diamond for my engagement ring. It’s going to look gorgeous in the ring we’re having made.
But… The diamond I originally had my eye on was larger by a full 1.04 ct. I was in love with it, and starry-eyed from imagining how a huge stone would look on my size 4.5 finger. We had to ditch the first stone because of a flaw we noticed at the last second, a thin crack along the surface of the stone that could have compromised its structural integrity. Choosing salt and pepper carries a risk with it anyway, and there’s no way we could go through with the purchase.
The new stone is smaller, but absolutely more beautiful and of higher quality. It was the correct choice and I’m sure will be lovely in my ring. But I still feel a little bit of disappointment that I won’t be walking around with a stone on my finger big enough to be seen from two counties over.
Has anyone had to change their stone to something smaller than they had dreamed of? How did you feel about it, and do you feel any differently today? Are you happier with it now, did you upgrade later, or choose to balance it with a flashier wedding band?
I’m by no means heartbroken (and I’m sure will be over the moon once my ring is finished), just looking to hear stories from others who might relate.
Feel free to show off your rings of any size here too, I love to see them!
Post # 2
I’m not in the same situation but I am also having a salt and pepper diamond engagement ring made so I’m here to see photos (if you have any?) I just adore S&P diamonds but as you say they are more structurally fragile and it’s sensible you went for a smaller but higher quality diamond. I’m sure it’s going to be perfect!
Post # 3
I won’t have the diamond in hand for a week (color me impatient!). But here’s my favorite shot of the stone I chose. I love the design you picked for yours as well! Salt and pepper diamonds are so lovely and fun.
Post # 4
I ended up with a smaller stone (and different shape) than what I envisioned because my fiancé wanted to surprise me with the ring. TBH, at first I was a bit upset about the ring even though it’s stunning and very sparkly, as it was different than I thought he was going to pick out (he asked me what rings I liked after he chose the ring and got nervous when I kept showing him rings a carat bigger than what he purchased LOL). After we got engaged he told me why he purchased the ring that he purchased, the specifications of the ring, and I realized that he put so much thought into what he thought would look perfect on me and stand the test of time, not what would impress other people. He paid more attention to the other Cs than I may have in pursuit of a bigger diamond. I’m a bit traditional, so I now think the idea that he picked something he loved for me is really romantic. After a few weeks of being engaged, I fell in love with the ring. Looking at wedding bands also helped me find a look that I really love and has given me the experience of picking out my dream ring(s). Social media (and for me, my peer circle, as everyone I know has HUGE rocks) has warped our impression of how the process should look in terms of our partners picking out exactly what we want and getting the biggest diamond possible, but at the end of the day, he chose a high quality, stunning ring and gave me the ring I needed even if it wasn’t the one I initially wanted.
Post # 5
That is a really lovely story! I know what you mean about how our impressions and expectations get warped over things like size… I honestly never thought about it at all until *after* we started looking at diamonds, then suddenly I cared a lot more.
It’s really beautiful that your fiancée put so much thought and effort into your ring. Having that physical reminder of the love he has for you and how thoughtful he is as a partner is priceless. And I’m glad to hear you grew to love it a much as he clearly hoped you would. It sounds like you ended up with the perfect ring! If you feel like sharing your ring I’d love to see it!
Post # 6
Well all l can say is, that is one lovely stone ! Do posts pics when set won’t you ?
Post # 8
Thank you so much! I will definitely be posting pics throughout the process. We’re not announcing our engagement publicly until the ring is finished, so all of my excitement will be posted here in the meantime. I did get to tell the barista though lol. She seemed happy for us 😛
Post # 9
Your stone is beautiful, and I love the cut. Are you planning to set it in a solitaire? Or a solitaire with pave?
I’ve been married for a while (just celebrated 23 years earlier this month, although hubby and I have been together as a couple for about 31 years — eek! i’m old. -.-). My actual engagement ring was not anything like what I wanted. I got engaged in the “stone age”, before social media and all of that. And even before online shopping really was a thing. I also have a larger finger size than you. I’m around a size 7 to 7.5, and I remember feeling let-down over how small stones looked on my finger. And also feeling guilty about this.
I had hoped for a 1 carat solitaire with a heart-shaped stone in white metal. And maybe pave on the band. My hubby did not want to get a heart shape, as he read articles saying that the point could break off. This was reinforced by the jeweler we went through to get the stone. So, hubby wanted a round stone. And he wanted under 1 carat due to the price point, which is totally fair. And he thought a solitaire setting was “too plain”, but the setting with pave on the band was “too fussy”. I’m actually sitting here laughing to myself as I type this, because, really, it was very sweet that he put this much thought into it!
I ended up with a 5-stone setting: larger center stone, with baguette and rounds on either side; round brilliant, around .53 ct for the center and around .75ct for the whole setting; in 18K yellow gold. Honestly, I was not disappointed, because I was so happy and excited to be getting engaged. I only felt disappointed when my mom looked at it and mentioned how it looked “so tiny” on my “big” fingers. But, again, that was more being disapointed in my fingers — which is silly, because that is totally beyond my control! We were engaged for 6 years (both finishing graduate school), and I came to love my ring even more in that time. I never loved the baguettes, as they always looked dirty to me, no matter how much I cleaned them.
Fast foward maaaaaany years, so many memories, so much laughter and love: And I love my engagement ring even more! I have anniversary rings now, and actually received my beautiful “dream” heart stone for our 22nd last year. But my engagement ring is so sentimental and special to me. For our 18th, I gave it a facelift by switching out the baguette diamonds for blue sapphires. Now, it is beyond perfect to me. (Sorry! This is a long post.) This is a pic of the “redo” for our 18th anniversary:
Post # 10
I’m glad you noticed the flaw on the bigger stone before purchasing it! I look forward to seeing your completed ring.
When I picked my stone, I was dithering between the one I ultimately chose and a larger one. To make matters harder, the larger stone was also objectively prettier/better cut. And, not surprisingly, it was about 35% more expensive.
While we could have afforded it, it was outide of my “soft budget” for the e-ring. I just couldn’t rationalize spending that much more. Plus, I know I would have felt awkward wearing it in certain situations. (My ring is pretty large and I feel awkward occasionally as is!)
I LOVED the bigger/more expensive stone and I occasionally have a little twinge of regret. But I think I made the right decision.
Post # 11
I had no idea of what I wanted at all LOL… first… got married with a ring my spouse was given by my father in law… there was no family heritage behind it, it was just something my father in law scored at an estate sale many many years ago. It’s a 10K white gold .75 CT white sapphire, I was fine with getting engaged and married with that since I am SUPER indecisive…and had NO idea where to start, so that was a great place holder while I searched for years to land where I am now (1.36 lab diamond/double halo)… so I guess .. YES I went with a smaller stone in the beginning but it was because I couldn’t figure it out.
Post # 12
Thank you! I am really in love with the look of the stone and just how beautifully cut it is. I’m planning on a split shank with claw prongs at all four points. I am considering adding in a few small round stones framing the top and bottom points, but I want to see a render both with and without them. For those I would likely go with either black diamonds or white sapphires.
23 happy years together is such a blessing, and I can only hope to follow your example! It is really sweet that your husband was so involved with the look and design of your first ring, and it sounds like in the end you were able to create something beautiful together. Your photo with the new sapphires is gorgeous! It looks truly unique, yet timeless. Thank you for sharing!
Post # 13
I actually had my ring redone with a smaller stone.
My original ring was 2 carats and it was so huge on my finger it looked gaudy. I felt like a little girl dressing up in my great aunt’s costume jewelry.
So I had the whole ring remade (for an extra $1000 ugh) with a 1 carat center stone. It’s still substantial without looking tacky.
Post # 14
I know exactly where you’re coming from – and definitely think you made the right choice despite the size difference. I think we as a society have gotten very image obsessed when it comes to things like ring size; being able to take a step back and make a thoughtful choice about what’s in your budget and practical is a smart move.
I’m working towards a minimalist lifestyle and one mantra that has been helping with things like this is “I can admire without acquiring”. Definitely applies to the big flashy stones as well 🙂
Post # 15
@castalia, first of all, your stone is gorgeous! I love salt and pepper diamonds and have been obsessing over a marquis shaped stone.
There is no doubt that I would have went bigger, but H and I decided on a budget and I found the biggest diamond that I could fit in that budget. And I recently thought about upgrading my diamond to go bigger, but even my jeweler talked me out of it saying that what I was hoping to go up to would cost $$$$$. So instead, I added a fun new black diamond eternity band (for my 1 year anniversary) and I’m very happy.
You’ll be surprised at how big the diamond will look once it’s set and on your finger. It’s going to be gorgeous!