Did you go with a smaller stone than you originally wanted?

posted 2 weeks ago in Rings
Post # 2
26 posts

I’m not in the same situation but I am also having a salt and pepper diamond engagement ring made so I’m here to see photos (if you have any?) I just adore S&P diamonds but as you say they are more structurally fragile and it’s sensible you went for a smaller but higher quality diamond. I’m sure it’s going to be perfect! 

Post # 4
3 posts

I ended up with a smaller stone (and different shape) than what I envisioned because my fiancé wanted to surprise me with the ring. TBH, at first I was a bit upset about the ring even though it’s stunning and very sparkly, as it was different than I thought he was going to pick out (he asked me what rings I liked after he chose the ring and got nervous when I kept showing him rings a carat bigger than what he purchased LOL). After we got engaged he told me why he purchased the ring that he purchased, the specifications of the ring, and I realized that he put so much thought into what he thought would look perfect on me and stand the test of time, not what would impress other people. He paid more attention to the other Cs than I may have in pursuit of a bigger diamond. I’m a bit traditional, so I now think the idea that he picked something he loved for me is really romantic. After a few weeks of being engaged, I fell in love with the ring. Looking at wedding bands also helped me find a look that I really love and has given me the experience of picking out my dream ring(s). Social media (and for me, my peer circle, as everyone I know has HUGE rocks) has warped our impression of how the process should look in terms of our partners picking out exactly what we want and getting the biggest diamond possible, but at the end of the day, he chose a high quality, stunning ring and gave me the ring I needed even if it wasn’t the one I initially wanted.

Post # 6
10515 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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Well all l can say is,  that is one lovely stone ! Do posts pics when set won’t you ? 

Post # 9
6501 posts
Bee Keeper

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@castalia:  Your stone is beautiful, and I love the cut. Are you planning to set it in a solitaire? Or a solitaire with pave?

I’ve been married for a while (just celebrated 23 years earlier this month, although hubby and I have been together as a couple for about 31 years — eek! i’m old. -.-). My actual engagement ring was not anything like what I wanted. I got engaged in the “stone age”, before social media and all of that. And even before online shopping really was a thing. I also have a larger finger size than you. I’m around a size 7 to 7.5, and I remember feeling let-down over how small stones looked on my finger. And also feeling guilty about this.

I had hoped for a 1 carat solitaire with a heart-shaped stone in white metal. And maybe pave on the band. My hubby did not want to get a heart shape, as he read articles saying that the point could break off. This was reinforced by the jeweler we went through to get the stone. So, hubby wanted a round stone. And he wanted under 1 carat due to the price point, which is totally fair. And he thought a solitaire setting was “too plain”, but the setting with pave on the band was “too fussy”. I’m actually sitting here laughing to myself as I type this, because, really, it was very sweet that he put this much thought into it!

I ended up with a 5-stone setting: larger center stone, with baguette and rounds on either side; round brilliant, around .53 ct for the center and around .75ct for the whole setting; in 18K yellow gold. Honestly, I was not disappointed, because I was so happy and excited to be getting engaged. I only felt disappointed when my mom looked at it and mentioned how it looked “so tiny” on my “big” fingers. But, again, that was more being disapointed in my fingers — which is silly, because that is totally beyond my control! We were engaged for 6 years (both finishing graduate school), and I came to love my ring even more in that time. I never loved the baguettes, as they always looked dirty to me, no matter how much I cleaned them.

Fast foward maaaaaany years, so many memories, so much laughter and love: And I love my engagement ring even more! I have anniversary rings now, and actually received my beautiful “dream” heart stone for our 22nd last year. But my engagement ring is so sentimental and special to me. For our 18th, I gave it a facelift by switching out the baguette diamonds for blue sapphires. Now, it is beyond perfect to me. (Sorry! This is a long post.) This is a pic of the “redo” for our 18th anniversary:

Post # 10
3102 posts
Sugar bee

I’m glad you noticed the flaw on the bigger stone before purchasing it!  I look forward to seeing your completed ring.

When I picked my stone, I was dithering between the one I ultimately chose and a larger one.  To make matters harder, the larger stone was also objectively prettier/better cut. And, not surprisingly, it was about 35% more expensive.  

While we could have afforded it, it was outide of my “soft budget” for the e-ring.  I just couldn’t rationalize spending that much more. Plus, I know I would have felt awkward wearing it in certain situations. (My ring is pretty large and I feel awkward occasionally as is!) 

I LOVED the bigger/more expensive stone and I occasionally have a little twinge of regret. But I think I made the right decision.  

Post # 11
1483 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I had no idea of what I wanted at all LOL… first… got married with a ring my spouse was given by my father in law… there was no family heritage behind it, it was just something my father in law scored at an estate sale many many years ago. It’s a 10K white gold .75 CT white sapphire, I was fine with getting engaged and married with that since I am SUPER indecisive…and had NO idea where to start, so that was a great place holder while I searched for years to land where I am now (1.36 lab diamond/double halo)… so I guess .. YES I went with a smaller stone in the beginning but it was because I couldn’t figure it out.


Post # 13
12 posts
  • Wedding: October 2018

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@castalia:   I actually had my ring redone with a smaller stone.


My original ring was 2 carats and it was so huge on my finger it looked gaudy. I felt like a little girl dressing up in my great aunt’s costume jewelry.


So I had the whole ring remade (for an extra $1000 ugh) with a 1 carat center stone. It’s still substantial without looking tacky.



Post # 15
4639 posts
Honey bee

@castalia, first of all, your stone is gorgeous!  I love salt and pepper diamonds and have been obsessing over a marquis shaped stone.

There is no doubt that I would have went bigger, but H and I decided on a budget and I found the biggest diamond that I could fit in that budget. And I recently thought about upgrading my diamond to go bigger, but even my jeweler talked me out of it saying that what I was hoping to go up to would cost $$$$$.  So instead, I added a fun new black diamond eternity band (for my 1 year anniversary) and I’m very happy. 

You’ll be surprised at how big the diamond will look once it’s set and on your finger.  It’s going to be gorgeous!

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