Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
I’m debating about the merits of choosing an MOH/Best Man given the implications of designating one friend as more important or more close than the other attendants. I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I can also see how having one point person in charge of all the BM’s (and one point person, best man, be in charge of all the GM’s), would be logistically very useful to plan any pre-wedding events, help with tasks or even just take charge the day of and maybe give a speech at the reception.
Did you have an MOH? Was it hard to choose one person over the other? Was there drama as a result? Would you do anything differently now looking back?
Post # 2
My best friend was my Maid/Matron of Honor. She was also the only friend I asked to be in the wedding party (my bridesmaid was my SIL). My husband chose his brother as his best man and had his best friend and my brother as groomsmen.
There was no drama and I wouldn’t do anything differently. If everyone in your wedding party is a mature adult then this shouldn’t be an issue.
Post # 3
We did have a best man & Maid/Matron of Honor in our wedding. My BMs were all either cousins or my SIL, my Maid/Matron of Honor was my best friend who has been for years. I was also Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding. My DH’s also chose his best friend (his groomsmen including his step brother and my brother too) Are you closer to a certain person more than others? If you are then I don’t think it shows that friend is more “important,” it just implies a closer relationship IMO. If you are equally close to everyone you are considering for your bridal party then you don’t have to pick one.
Regardless though, only one person can be the one to be standing right next to you during your ceremony, the same person who helps with you train (if necessary) and holds your bouquet.
Post # 4
It’s a lot of pressure. People even assume they’re the Maid/Matron of Honor. It’s crazy and it makes you feel like you’re playing favorites.
I have no Maid/Matron of Honor nor does he have a Best Man. In fact, no bridal party at all, but if we did, they’d just be a bridal party without the “top” ones.
Post # 5
I am designating a Maid/Matron of Honor and, oddly enough, she’s not my best friend. My best friend is included but only as a bridesmaid. The reason being: My best friend is not exactly a people person. She’s also busy as she has two small children (but that’s not the major deterrent). She just has a very strong way of speaking and she doesn’t get along with just about anyone. I overlook most of these things because she’s my friend and I’ve learned to look past it but I can’t expect that from anyone.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is much more personable, much more available, and will just generally be better in the position.
If you look at it like a job posting, your decision gets a lot easier. I’m not concerned with hurting anyone’s feelings because it’s MY wedding and I can do whatever I want. You want the most qualified person in this position because this is the biggest day of your life and you want things done a certain way. If someone has a problem with what you decide to do, just think about it as one less place setting you have to pay for. OH WELL!
Post # 6
I have a Maid/Matron of Honor and a bridesmaid. Looking back I could have had a matron of honor and maid of honor as one is married and one isn’t. Equally they are very important for me but I choose one as Maid/Matron of Honor bc we have been friends longer.
Fiancé has a best man (his best friend) and groomsman (uncle)
Post # 7
I have my sister so that wasn’t hard 🙂 I have 2 best frens but since I have my sister it’s understood. If u have a best fren go ahead n choose her , don’t be afraid to pick. If u have 2 best fresns, now that s a dilemma.
Post # 8
I couldn’t pick between my best friend of twenty years that I talk to less regularly or my best friend of ten years that I talk to weekly so I had both be co-maid of honor. One signed the Ketubah (Jewish marriage license) the other signed the state marriage license. Both gave speeches. One designed my invitations, the other planned the Bachelorette party.
Post # 9
I only have two bridesmaids for my wedding next year – my SIL and my best friend. They are both very important to me and was hard to figure out who to designate as Maid/Matron of Honor, so I didn’t choose one. They’re both bridesmaids. It actually made it easier for my Fiance, because he has 4 groomsmen and couldn’t figure out which of his friends to choose as Best Man.
So, we are not having a best man or a Maid/Matron of Honor. For the rings, we each have a brother, and neither are in the bridal party, so we thought have them each hold a ring and bring it to the pastor when it’s time for the exchanging of rings. That way our brothers have a prominent role, and we don’t have to eeney-meeney-miney-mo which of the bridal party holds the rings!
Post # 10
We did not have a bridal party whatsoever. No regrets!!
Post # 11
I had a Maid/Matron of Honor but she wasn’t treated differently, nor did she do anything differently than my bridesmaid. It was just a title and really she was chosen because it was the ‘right’ thing to do, not because I feel anything more about her (my sister) than I do my bridesmaid (best friend of 20-some years). They worked together on anything they chose to do, put in the same amount. Likewise when bestie got married many years before I did, we all took on “duties” together rather than claiming any one person had to take control.
Post # 12
I wasn’t planning on having a MoH because I didn’t want to have to choose between friends but then my long-time bestie made a comment about how she couldn’t wait and she’d be the best MoH ever (eh… I didn’t ask…). When I said I wasn’t planning on doing it she was pretty dismissive… not really what I’m looking for in a MoH anyway.
Nearer the time I’ll make a call but for now I still think I’ll just have a few bridesmaids and assign them tasks based on what I think they’ll be best for (one for damage control if/when things go wrong, one for dealing with guest and family drama and one for dealing with me if I’m feeling stressed or need something)- perhaps Maid of Chaos, Maid of PR and Maid of Emotions? 😉
Good luck! Whatever you choose make sure it works for you… they’ll just need to get over it.
Post # 13
I have bridesmaids but no Maid/Matron of Honor because i couldn’t choose.. my Fiance has a best man though. Whatever works for u!
Post # 14
My sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor so that was easy. Had I not had a sister and had to choose between my 4 best friends (who are BMs) I’m not sure I could have! Fiance chose his best friend to be best man.
Post # 15
We aren’t going to have a Maid/Matron of Honor or Best Man.
I don’t want a bridal shower, and we can figure out the bachelorette without one designated Maid/Matron of Honor. I don’t want my bridesmaids to do much other than show up anyway.