Post # 1
And were they justified (such as, cold feet due to lack of trust, only to find out your SO had been cheating) or not? Did it cause any issues after the wedding?
Personally, I did not have any doubts, and did not have cold feet. Darling Husband didn’t have doubts or cold feet, either. I’m just curious for other responses and how it affected the relationship (if it affected the relationship).
Post # 3
@AcheneMalefic: My Fiance and I don’t have any doubts, but we’re older, we’ve lived together, and we’re best friends; so, we don’t have any reasons to have doubt. I’m curious to see what other ladies say though.
Post # 4
I didn’t have any doubts, and Darling Husband says he didn’t either. We went in with our eyes open – we’ve been together for over 10 years (9.5 at wedding time), so we knew a lot about each other, including big things like how each of us handles change and challenges.
I did have the moment “Oh my god, this is forever,” but it was an exciting moment, not a moment of doubt/cold feet.
Post # 5
Neither of us had a moment of doubt or anything close to cold feet. We were so excited and happy to be getting married! We kept saying it, over and over, like idiots, lol. After everything both of us have been through in our pasts we’re deliriously happy to have found each other. 🙂
Post # 6
Neither of us had any doubts or cold feet, but like a PP said we’d been together for 9+ years, lived together, and all that. We met in highschool so we’d already been through each other growing up and changing (and damn it was rough).
I did have a small “omg… this is it” when I realized that we were giving up the “safety net” of being able to just walk away without a legal battle (I’m a family law paralegal, so yeah I went there), but it was all of a second’s panic before I realized it didn’t matter.
Post # 7
I didn’t! And I’m fairly sure Fiance hasn’t had any, either!
Post # 8
No – we’ve been together 5 years so there wasn’t any doubt that this was what we wanted. I had some anxiety about my name changing, but that was it.
Post # 9
@AcheneMalefic: Honestly, I had a few doubts right after my fiance and I got engaged. It had nothing to do with trust, cheating, or even him. I was just … Scared.
It was really strange because we’d been living together for almost 2 years when he proposed in November … So getting married wouldn’t be a huge change for us. We’d also been together for almost 5.5 years at that point, so, again, it wasn’t an, “Oh my God what if I really don’t know this person at all?” kind of issue.
I did, however, have a moment of panic a few days after I accepted his proposal. I called my mom and cried for at least an hour (and felt like such a stupid little kid when I did this). The issue was that I’d never imagined myself getting married. When I was actually presented with this possibility, it completely freaked me out.
I’d always been afraid of marriage. My parents divorced when I was very young. My uncle (whom I’m very close with) and his wife also divorced when my cousin (their daughter) was very young. My grandparents didn’t have the best/happiest marriage. I guess seeing all of these failed and/or unhappy marriages made me worry that a good, strong, healthy, happy marriage was some impossible feat.
I’m still working on some of my issues. My fiance knows about my fears and concerns and has been so supportive and amazing. As I said, I never once doubted my relationship with him … I just doubted my ability to have a strong, happy marriage. That being said, it would take a lot for me to consider a divorce in the future. I’m in this for the long haul, and I know deep down that any doubts I’ve had are completely unjustified.
Post # 10
I chose the second option, but it’s not really quite accurate. I had plenty of doubts — he was young and rough and I was in my 3rd trimester. We had broken up several times because he wanted to be exclusive but I loved being single and dating lots of guys. Between the 2 of us, we had 1 family member who was married, and that was an unhappy one that ended a few years later anyway. Everyone else in both our families was divorced. We had never lived together because he had a crap-ass job and lived wth his mom, and I LOVED living by myself. But we talked a lot and thought a lot and decided we had something really special and could make it work. That was almost 17 years ago and we’re still in love. But I wouldn’t say it’s because my doubts “weren’t justified” — they were real legitimate questions and issues. But we were committed to overcoming them. We did not go into marriage blind or starry-eyed. We knew we would have challenges and we decided to always face them together, and to be honest and respectful to each other. Long-lasting happiness depends on conscious choices and deliberate actions much more than warm fuzzy feelings or the lack of occasional negative or unsure feelings.
Post # 11
Oh shoot, I read it wrong. I voted for the last one but I meant “No, I did not have cold feet/doubts, and SO did not have cold feet/doubts either”