Post # 1
This will be my second marriage. SO and I have been together 6 months and we both know that we should have married each other in the first place. We are planning on moving into together within the next year and we have talked a lot about our future together. We have talked about marriage a few times and both agree since we have been married before that the courthouse will do and we will have a family reception to celebrate.
Well, the other day he told me that he needed to save money because he had a trip to pay for. The trip he is referencing is a small trip for a few days and it will not be until November. It’s not an expensive trip either. He was also complaining the other day about work taking money out of his check for this and that, etc. Then we happened to be at an event and he looked at me and asked “are you sure”. (I can’t remember exactly what it was about) but I said “why do you keep asking me that when you know I am?” He said, “So when I ask you I’ll know.” I said, “When you ask me what?” He looked at me like I should know, I did not push but I assumed that he was probably talking about when he asks me to marry him. He also got on my Pinterest board and saw some rings posted and said, “You have expensive taste.” I later text him and said I didn’t have expensive taste which he never responded. When I talked to him yesterday he said he has money in savings for this trip which I did not know anything about.
I could completely be off base but I am starting to wonder if the “trip” savings is just a cover up for a “ring” savings. I have worn his ring a few times so he has a size because he know that fits me. His family loves me and have told him that he needs to put a ring on it or they will! Lol We were talking the other day about others’ proposals and how I want to be shocked and he said “yeah I agree.” So I have a feeling that I won’t know when it is coming but I am wondering if these are some signs.
Your thoughts would be great! Were you completely shocked with your proposal or did you know it was coming? I would love to hear your stories!
Post # 2
I definitely knew it was coming because we had a timeline in place, however, my fiance STILL managed to shock me because I was absolutely certain it wasn’t going to happen on the day that it did.
Post # 3
FH and I are also older and this is a second marriage. I knew because we openly discussed it. I didnt know exactly what day but we had an anniversary weekend planned and he told me it would happen that weekend. Dinner on Saturday night was the logical time and thats when it happened.
Post # 4
Same here – we had previously talked about it and he knew the ring I wanted. Even though I knew it was coming soon I was still very suprised when it did happen.
Post # 5
My proposal was meant to be a complete surprise, we had talked about getting married but my now husband said he’d need a couple years to save up for this and that before getting a ring.
About 6 months later he started talking more about “when we get married”, just making random comments about marriage and weddings. And then he proposed a couple months after he started making those comments.
He might be hinting at it, I don’t know why else a man would go out of his way to look at your pinterest board!
Have you considered talking to him about a timeline or are you find just going with the flow and seeing what happens?
Post # 6
We picked the ring together – he went back 2 weeks later and bought it. No secrets here…we have joint accounts, lol, so I knew exactly what he was doing when he said he was going to be “late home from work”
3 weeks later – talk to Dad. I saw him go to my parent’s house on the app we use that tracks our whereabouts. Next day: proposal.
No games, no fuss, no “hints” no maybe yes, maybe not. Just a honest conversation between two adults about our future together.
Post # 7
I knew . Well, he said , shall I go and get that ring you liked and we can get married with it? And he did, so we did. Only the one ring, just plain two tone gold . I don’t think he actually knew about engagement rings and I didn’t care, having been married with the trimmings once before.
Post # 8
I picked out my own ring. And then found it in a closet two weeks before he proposed. So… no. I was not surprised. 😂 It was still very special though.
The best thing I found was to just put it out of my mind and let him handle it. I’ve ‘waited’ for a ring before, and it was exhausting trying to analyze each and every moment. I did much better this time around and only lost my patience once; I felt bad about that later because the whole reason he had to wait was because the jeweler took foreverrrr to get the center stone set.
Post # 9
Well—- the part where he said “hey I’d like to talk about our future because I would like to spend life with you and I want to hear your thoughts” was a good hint.
(I kind of think adults should have an open conversation about these things)
Post # 11
I proposed to my fiancé and he had NO idea it was coming. I’d shown him a few rings I liked about a year before that and bought and hid the ring before we even lived together. We agreed that we shouldn’t get engaged before having lived together for half a year – I proposed after 4 months. He never had a chance 😉
Post # 12
Yeah, we had a timeline for the proposal, we both like to plan life things out in advance so neither of us would have been satisfied with a complete surprise. I was surprised that he proposed the day that he did, because I had convinced myself he wasn’t going to propose on our vacation (I both over-thought AND under-thought things lol).
Post # 13
Same situation for me, and I think that’s the best scenario!
Post # 14
- Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY
I’m not sure why so many people misunderstand that the actual proposal can be a surprise even though you already mutually agreed that you’re on the path to getting married. My husband and I had our timeline talk when we started house hunting. While we nailed down the date we wanted to get married and what kind of ring I would like, we didn’t really discuss when a proposal would happen. But he wasted no time in having my ring made. So when the proposal came only a couple months after that talk, yes, I was completely surprised.
To answer the OP’s question, in retrospect, it should have been obvious. He kept talking about marriage and making random comments like, “If you keep cooking so well, I’m going to have put a ring on it,” even when it was the same chicken dish that I always made. And he asked me to go on vacation at a time of year that we normally wouldn’t take a trip. But it was much sooner than I anticipated so it just wasn’t on my radar as much. My friends made me wonder if it would happen on the trip but I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to be potentially disappointed and ruin the trip, so I just went in expecting to enjoy each other and the beautiful island. The proposal was an amazing bonus.
Post # 15
I couldn’t agree more! A complete surprise with absolutely no idea is awesome in theory, but for me, did not work for my anxiety lol. I love that I had a say in the timing of our engagement but that the actual proposal managed to totally surprise me!