(Closed) Did you have gifts bought by parents signed by adult "children"

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
1938 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes, my aunt and uncle signed their 20 year old sons name on my wedding gift. Their 23 year old daughter gave us a gift separate from them. I know their son probably didn’t pitch in, but if they want to give him part of the credit I don’t really care. They gave me a special edition Keurig so I am not complaining!! 🙂 

Post # 4
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@coffeegal85:  I had one person do that for both the shower and the wedding, even though the adult daughter came to wedding (not the shower). It was annoying because then two months later, Darling Husband and I had to get a separate gift for her wedding. Because it would have been “rude” for us to just have them put our names on the gift from his parents. 

Post # 5
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I got lots of group gifts, and it didn’t bother me. My Mother-In-Law actually does this sometimes. She will tell me “I got a gift for so and so from both of us” for showers we are both attending. I think it is just a mom thing.

Post # 6
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah, I’m still doing that for showers with my mom, and had people do that for mine.  It really doesn’t bother me at all.  Presents are never a required item, so the fact that they gave me something at all is very much appreciated.

Post # 8
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yes, this happened. Yes, I find it rude. In particular when, in our case, the adult offspring live on their own and received (obviously) their own invitations. The arrived in separate cars, stayed in different rooms, etc. 

On top of it all, these are the people who insist on being treated like adults, and whine when a family member says or does something they interpret as treating them like a child. A few are married or cohabitating, and two have children of their own. 

I completely agree that a responsible adult, regardless of whose offspring they are, should be responsible enough to bring their own card (I won’t go there with the gift). Darling Husband and I send our own birthday/holiday/condolence/congrats cards, and never allow our respective parents to sign or send anything “from” us. 

The only reason a parent might do this is when said offspring still lives with them, so the parent still considers him/her a “child” under their roof. In that case, I suppose I can understand the reasoning. But if the adult offspring is truly an adult, living his/her own life… send or bring your own card!

Post # 9
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I definitely see where you’re coming from.  In my opinion, there is no problem with going in on a gift together if its evident the thought behind it was a group effort.  I have definitely seen a difference between an actual group gift and someones parents just putting a name on a card.  HUGE difference

Post # 11
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I live out of state, and when my mom went to my cousin’s shower, I gave my mom some money to help buy a bigger present.  So, then she signed with both of our names.  Both me and my mom recieved seperate cards.  I guess you never really know if they actually did chip in or not!

Post # 12
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It really is no concern of ours how our adult cousins, etc. choose to finance the travel to our weddings.  My parents paid for my and FI’s trip to a family wedding in February.  Did we ask?  Of course not.  But they generously offered, and we graciously accpted.

As I stated above, my mother and I get shower gifts together.  She pays, and sometimes I pick out (sometimes I do not).  Again, that is our decision.  Perhaps these guests gave their parents part of the cost of the gifts they gave you.  It doesn’t matter how expensive the gift was, they gave you something.  An extra thank you note takes what, 3-5 more minutes?  Not that much more effort.

Post # 14
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yeah, sure happened several times. It was just whatever to me.

Post # 15
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yep.  I had my aunt and uncle sign for their three adult kids and their dates. 

Mmy personal opinion is if you’re old enough to be invited to a wedding with a date, you’re old enough to bring your own card… But whatever.  Now I don’t have to get them anything when they get married and can pre emptively spend that $600 on something else… JK.  Mostly. 

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