(Closed) Did you have guests who you did not receive a gift from?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, this happened to us. It bothered us a little bit initially but TBH, we don’t really care now. Plus, they happened to be people I work with, including my boss, so that’s that. My boss gave me a promotion and raise in the meantime and that’s better than a boxed gift!

Post # 4
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

YOU BET.  I didn’t get gifts from 6 people.  Coincidently, 6 of them were from Brooklyn.  One of them was a bridesmaid.  Still don’t understand why.  It sucked trying to write thank you’s to people for “showing up.”  I’m still not over not getting a gift from my Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 5
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Yes we had a few people who did not give a gift or even a card, its normal to have a few guest not give a gift in this economy, people are just plain broke. I’m glad these guests still attended our wedding, its not about the gifts its about sharing our wedding day with the people we love, care and respect.

Post # 7
Member
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@MrsTVLover:  Interesting – I’ve heard that some people think that gifts from bridesmaids / groomsmen are totally unnecessary / unexpected.  (Especially if they’re spending a ton of money on dresses, hair & makeup, throwing you parties, etc etc.)

Post # 8
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

This happened to us.  My husband’s (very well off) aunt and her family never gave a gift or even a card until this past August, 4 1/2 years after our wedding.  We bought our fist house after renting all that time and she sent us a housewarming gift with a Home Depot gift card in it saying that since she never gave us a gift, this was to make up for it.  It’s kind of weird, especially since we are fairly close with her and took a trip to visit and stayed at their place for a week 2 years ago… It’s a little odd but whatever.

Post # 9
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@greenidlady:  Thanks.  It was shocking.  I spent over $700 on her between the dress, shoes, gift, etc.  Now she is getting married this spring and I am at a loss as to how to handle it.  My Darling Husband says just give her what I normally give, but I am still upset over a year later. 

Post # 10
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I didn’t even want to do a registry, but I was made to. I’m just glad the people I invited to my second reception showed up and had a blast 🙂 There were those who didn’t bring gifts, but I think that was because they knew their stature as friends in my life that I wouldn’t give two hoots XD

Post # 11
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

I also want to add that I heard the gift period following a wedding is actually a year.  So I guess that means it’s perfectly acceptable to wait a bit to give a gift, as long as it’s within a year of the wedding date.  Not sure how many people do this though.

Post # 12
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m really ashamed to say I was that guest once, a long time ago. I was unemployed and literally didn’t have enough money to pay the bills/eat, let alone get something (however small) as a gift. I still feel bad about it. Bearing that in mind, I plan to be extremely understanding of any of my guests who don’t give a gift. I’ll just be glad they’re able to make it.

Post # 13
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Of course I had family not give gifts.  But I didn’t expect much since I know money is pretty tight for a lot of people.  I just wanted everyone there.

But something that was kind of frustrating to me was the fact that my DHs brothers girlfriend bought a few different nice gifts for my Darling Husband other brother and his wife.  They got married in October.  And supposidly they didn’t care for her and thought it was a mistake them getting married.  And they didn’t get us anything.  Which is fine.  But I guess its just the point.

Then my Darling Husband sister didn’t bring a gift to the shower (which again was fine). But she took a gift to the SILs baby shower, which was only 2 weeks after my bridal shower (same one who had the wedding in October.)

Again, a lot of people didn’t get us gifts, and I’m definitely not upset about it.  But wanted to vent since supposidly the family didn’t care for her, and all talk about her.  But felt like they should shower her with gifts.  ughhh. Lol. Makes me wonder what they say about me now.  Two faced :(. Can’t stand it!!!

Post # 14
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Every time I see a thread like this, I feel awful. Among the part of the family that I actually grew up knowing, weddings were rare and most people eloped or just lived together. I went to a couple as a kid, including my other brother and sister’s and never saw my parents once give a gift. Even then I felt a little wrong about it, but my parents retorted that everyone knows they don’t have any money. We didn’t even go to either of the rehearsal dinners, which stung. 

I never really got to go shopping for school clothes, much less the birthday/xmas gifts that my friends all had. I hated when we would come back to school from xmas break and the teacher would go around the room asking what gifts we got. I would just want to hide. I grew up dancing and all the other parents would bring flowers and give them the other girls after performances. I was lucky if mine realized they were expected to show up.

I’m really not complaining about all of this, because I grew up aware that some people (my dad included) had much less. I just assumed that people who spent so much money on gifts and such were misguided/spoiled.

Fast forward to meeting my Fiance a few years ago, and the first few family showers we went to, we either didn’t buy a gift (and offered to help out) or bought something under $20 (albeit well intentioned and thought out.) Imagine my surprise when he tells me that in his circle you give at least $150 “per plate” for a wedding. I had never even heard of giving cash. You have to pay a cover?? LOL! It took a while for me to realize that this is the norm, and it’s not a shameful thing. Now IM ashamed at myself/my parents not knowing any better.. I can’t even imagine what those people that we stiffed were thinking. I have to admit though, I’m still having a hard time swallowing the part about gifting someone that doesn’t even know my birthday a weeks pay, but I get the concept and I go along with it, or don’t attend.

Just wanted to put this out there so that everyone knows there is a different perspective out there. Some people just don’t know any better, so have mercy and a good attitude and surely it will come back to you in karma if nothing else. 

Post # 15
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

we had a few guests who did not give us a gift and we were not upset or offended by it at all. i didn’t have a wedding just so i could get gifts from everyone who came. i have a lot of family that came from out of town, so they had to spend a good chunk of money just to come to my wedding. the economy sucks, money is tight for a lot of people, so if they didn’t give us a gift, it was perfectly ok 🙂

we also told our bridal party not to get us anything, but some of them did anyway.

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