(Closed) Did you have guests who you did not receive a gift from?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 77
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

We had a few of my husbands younger co workers they’re like 19 not bring a gift. We also had a coworker of my moms I barely know) not bring a gift. Neither of these surprised us. I asked our wedding party to not give us gifts but all but 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man and 1 Groomsmen did anyways. i honestly didnt care but my bridesmaid asked me last minute if her sister could come (which i said yes) but was kinda annoyed she didnt bother even bringing a card or gift (and her sister is a decent friend of mine, i just didnt have space at first). I was surprised at the amount some gave to. Like a college roommate who gave a 25 gift card when we gifted her over a hundred2 years Ago.. if they were broke I’d understand but trust me they have money!! 

Post # 78
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

@MrsTVLover:  I was in one of my brother’s wedding as a bridesmaid about 3 years ago.  I spent hundreds of dollars on gown, hair, shoes, etc and still brought them a gift.  When I handed it to my new sister-n-law she was like, “What’s this? You didn’t have to buy us anything b/c you was in the wedding silly!”  Until then I didn’t realize that BMs and GMs do not buy the newlyweds gifts.  I am not married yet but I do not expect mine to buy us any gifts b/c they are paying for everything (except hair and makeup).  

I did read down the posts and saw that you paid for everything for them.  Although its not common where I am from to pay for anything, if I had the money I probably would also buy their dress.  So considering this…your Bridesmaid or Best Man should have brought you a dang on gift to say thanks for the free stuff.

Post # 79
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Have a little patience! Technically, the standard wedding ettiquette is that guests have up to a year to buy you a gift. I’m guessing that you still have several gifts on their way to you! 

That said, gifts should NEVER be expected. No one is under any obligation to buy you a present for your wedding! You didn’t invite them just so that you could get a present…you invited them so that they could be part of your special day. Be grateful for the gifts you did get, including the presence of the people you love at your wedding! That is a gift in itself. 

I’m definitely NOT expecting all our guests to give us gifts. Many of them are spending a lot of money just to be there to celebrate with us. 

Post # 80
708 posts
Busy bee

It makes my stomach turn to hear anyone assessing another’s ability to afford, or duty to give, a gift. Being a stickler for manners and all.

But I really feel sad to hear that feelings are hurt over how much they spend on a guest, and the expectations that come with it. I simply can’t even imagine having this mindset as a host, and how burdensome it would be emotionally.

Post # 81
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@MrsTVLover:  I would just give her a card. But Im a bit spiteful. 

Post # 82
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Same thing happened to us but I didn’t mind in the least. Some people I expected not to give gifts did. My moms friend who I haven’t seen since I was like 6 and isn’t close friends with my mom anymore and didn’t even get invited gave us a gift. Some people are gifters, some aren’t.

Post # 83
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

15 of the 39 parties who came to our wedding didn’t give a gift.  One sent a card.  Oddly, 13/15 were from DH’s side. I thought that this was due to Darling Husband having many more out-of-towners than I did.  However, the proportion of locals who did not give a gift was identical to the proportions of travelers who didn’t.  Who knows.

As for the two on my side who didn’t give a gift, they are both procrastinators.  They each asked where we were registered, but it would not surprise me if we don’t receive a gift from them.

In all cases, I would have appreciated a card.

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