(Closed) Did you have the “let’s just elope” thoughts during planning? When?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I felt this way from the beginning.  My fiance and his family do not.  I think it is great that we are having a traditional wedding, but I can’t help but feel it is silly to spend this much on one day when we don’t have significant savings or even own a house.  His parents offered to help with the costs, and I know you can’t dictate what people give you money for, but it just seems irresponsible or something.

So, I know where you’re coming from.  I just try to stay positive and think that maybe in 10 years I will look back and be very happy that we had a slightly expensive traditional wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When my Fiance adds YET ANOTHER person to the guest list. 

When I get panicky about having the right amount of funds at the right time to actually pull this off. 

Last night, when my Father-In-Law tried to convince me to let everyone bring a +1. Um. Hells no buddy, I’m not paying ANOTHER 45$ a head plus 15% gratituty plus cocktail hour appies so people can bring a rando date. Arrrrrrgh.

Post # 5
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think everyone gets to this point sometime during the process. You realize how stressful it all is and you wonder why you didn’t just go to the courthouse and get it done with with minimal fuss. 

Post # 6
Hostess
4793 posts
Honey bee

I totally gotch on that! We’ve been engaged for 3+ years with no date in sight. I’m all for eloping. I tell this to Mr.TKE all the time…his only response is our moms would kill us. That is the ONLY reason for not eloping.

Post # 7
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I felt this way about 6 months prior to the date. I was over planning and was watching our bank accounts puke out money.  I then recovered and had the same feeling again about 30 days prior to the wedding.  I think it’s normal to want to give it up sometimes. Just always give it about 2 weeks before you make any big decisions as the stress level may change within that time frame. No rash decisions when you have bridal brain.

Post # 8
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

When Fiance first proposed, I was thinking big wedding immediately.  About three days later, when planning a trip to Vegas, I was thinking, ‘let’s just do it now and save the money.’  We didn’t do it.

A few months later, after the planning stress was starting to build we were taking another trip to Vegas (we used to live pretty close) and again I told Fiance I wanted to elope and again he talked me out of it.

I still have thoughts ALL the time that we would have saved so much money, stress, frustration if we had eloped.  But I’m glad we never did.  Planning a wedding can be stressful and overwhelming at times.  But I know having my dad walk me down the aisle, seeing Daniel in his tux, having my sisters in their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, that’s something I’d likely never get to experience again, and so I couldn’t be happier and more excited that we have continued on this path.

Post # 10
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, but because of our financial situation.  J proposed when he had a “steady” job (or so he believed) and I was right out school looking for a job that I eventually got 1.5 months after the engagement.  We had everything planned.  We were going to move out on our own, work and save, and do whatever we could.  Well, J lost his job as soon as he proposed basically.  Felt that way anyways.  Our moving plans are put on hold.  My job is pretty secure, but it’s not enough for me to pay bills and save enough money alone.  

It’s really tough at times.  I know there have been days where he’s apologized to me.  He was really upset thinking he messed up because he proposed and then lost his job.  I have to remind him at times that life happens and we’re not the only ones going through a tough time (though it feels like it sometimes). 

I’ve brought up just a small Destination Wedding with his parents, my mom, and grandparents.  My brothers included.  But I know it’s not what I want or what any one else wants.  We both want the wedding we’re planning.  I’m very excited about it, but still worry on a constant basis on how we’re going to make it financially.

His parents and grandparents to plan to chip in and help with what they can, but the majority of the payments will be on us.  I just pray and hope every day that something works out in favor of us for once.  It can be a real struggle at times.

Post # 11
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I pretty much feel that way every time I look at our guest list.

The topic ‘Did you have the “let’s just elope” thoughts during planning? When?’ is closed to new replies.

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