(Closed) Did you have your 1st My God What Have I Done moment?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Oooo, yes.  I had that moment a few months ago.  I had been asking my husband to cuddle with me in bed and he was complaining as usual, but when I mentioned he used to always cuddle with me he got quiet.  I know that I had put on some weight recently and I was sensitive to it, so I asked if that’s why.  And he admitted that he was less attracted to me now.  It took a lot of talking to get through it, but now we are both working out and trying to be better looking and healthier for each other.  But I remember thinking at the time, “Why did I marry someone so shallow?”

Post # 4
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Omg… I’m sorry ladies but I would freak out too if I experienced either one of those things.

I have been noticing (and have tried to stop myself when I do) that his jokes are repetitive and he speaks in a higher pitch when he talks to me….I had a little panic moment of “oh god, he’s going to do that forver, I’m going to be hearing those jokes forever” moment.

Post # 5
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

It’s refreshing to know that you ladies got married and still feel as if not everything is perfect. I think a lot of women feel as if they cannot talk about the things that bother them about their spouse because once you marry them you are supposed to love anything and everything about them because you agreed to love them for the rest of your life. It is nice to know that sometimes they still bug you but you still love and care about them just the same.

Post # 6
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

yep… we are trying to quit smoking and mine snapped the other day because a shot glass fell out of the cabinet for the third time when he opened it and it told him that if it falls, than put it somewhere else! and he was PISSED! i usually don’t get smart and just move it later tp avoid conflict(he doesn’t usually get in the cabinets but i had surgery and he has been taking care of me) i couldn’t resist the urge to smart off! lol

Post # 7
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I guess I had a lot of that before we got married. We were fighting a lot due to wedding stress and sometimes I would look at him and go “My god am I really sure about this?”. We always talked it out. The problems haven’t gone away totally but they’re definitely better and we’re much better at talking stuff out instead of flaring up at each other (ok ok, I’m better at not doing that… he never used to, he’d just sit there quietly and take my verbal torrent of anger). 

Post # 8
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@MissBrooklynA – I think you are right on the money with that observation, I have also noticed newly married women tend to hold in their relationship problems because they think things need to be perfect.  I can see the flip side of that too though, I had a really hard time discussing that issue with most of my friends because they are all newly married or will be getting married soon, and I didn’t want to disillusion them on what they perceived my marriage looked like.

Post # 9
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’ve been married almost two years and have not yet had that moment! Closest I came was one day I was lounging around and thought, I think I’d like to go get a puppy today! Then I realized that I would have to talk about it with hubby, and he would probably say no, and I realized that I miss being single and getting to make my own decisions, and I pouted for a while. But I have never for a second regretted marrying him.

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am with snmcdowell, I haven’t had any shocking moments happen, but I have thought about making a big purchase and having to answer to someone about it. Not that Darling Husband would ever give me a problem about any of it, we are on the same page $ wise (thankfully!) but it is kind of a “What did I do?” moment when you go from 100% freedom to having to answer to someone.

Post # 11
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I didn’t get the impression that anyone was saying they regretted marrying their hubby but maybe I am wrong?? I for one have not regretted marrying him once but I have certainly had my fair share of these moments! I am pretty sure he has too. We are very different in terms of the fact that he is pretty OCD and I am not OCD at all, and I think sometimes the other does something (like, he obsessively cleans something or keeps track of things or something like that) or I do something (such as drop some crumbs or leave my crap in places) and I think we both think, My God, I’m going to have to put up with this forever?!

I have also had the moments where I stop and think, Whoa, I don’t make big decisions on my own anymore, and this is what it’s like from now on. It’s pretty crazy.

 

Post # 12
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Great topic! Our counselor calls that “buyer’s remorse,” which I think is a great name for it 🙂 She says almost every couple experiences a moment (or moments) of buyer’s remorse – it’s normal and just be prepared for it. Doesn’t mean you get divorced, but people aren’t perfect, and that usually comes out a lot more after you get married.

I haven’t experienced buyer’s remorse yet, although it’s only been three months 😉

Post # 13
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

This is funny!  (I mean, I hope it is funny and not serious remorse, because of course that isn’t funny :/ )  Everybody freaks out, especially if they are stressed or tired.  As long as it isn’t too violent or something… I have seen the best and worst of my Fiance, so I feel confident that I “know what I am doing/ getting into.”  But, like littlemissmoo- I have been having serious talks/ worry attacks this week (wedding in 5 days!!) -but we just talk it out.

Post # 14
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

monalisa I too agree with your first sentence.  I see not regrets here in this thread, just passing, fleeting OMG moments.

15 years before I was married it was just me and my cat Travis.  He could come and go into any room of the little house I rented as he pleased.  He even had a kitty door that allowed him outside.

However, now that me and the new hubby have just bought our first home together Travis isn’t allowed in the master bedroom (understandable…I guess) and there is no kitty door in the new house (yet).  So the first couple of times he pooped outside of his litter box he was locked up in his room (yes the cat has his own room so I guess that’s a good thing).  This was not my decision.

*sigh*

I love my husband, being married, and I definitely love our new house but I surely do miss that part of being single and having my own place.  If Travis could talk he would probably agree.

xoxo

Post # 15
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I honestly haven’t had that moment yet… but it’s only been a little over 6 weeks.  Give me some time… I’m sure it will come.  Wink

Post # 16
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I lived with Fiance right away when we started seeing one another, so I did a lot of adjusting then.  He still lets me act like I am single, so I am happy about that.  However, I did have to compromise- for instance- I used to sleep with my dog before Fiance.  When he came along- those two would literally “have a fight” (it was funny to me) -she would push him off the bed!  (On purpose- she is one of a kind 😉   )

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