Post # 62
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
Fiance paid for my ering. But I am helping pay for the wedding band. He didn’t even know about wedding bands, he was like “You need another ring?!”… He told me what his budget was and I agreed to pay the difference.
Post # 63
There was really no conceivable way for him to pay for it with “his” money because it’s been “our” money for years. Nothing we have is separate, and if we tried something like that, I’d have a way less awesome ring!
Post # 64
I think it’s fine. Just as you mentioned above it is shared money so technically you are both paying for it. As long as you love the ring that’s all that matters!
Post # 65
I really appreciate all the feedback I’ve received. Just wanted to provide everyone an update: I spoke to SO and offered to pay for any incremental costs for the ring above his budget. I explained that in time, this is all our money anyway. He was a little hesitant about this. He said that he would prefer to just increase his budget for the same reasons–if he spends more of his savings, it’s just our money anyway, so it will all even out over time.
I guess I am ok with this, but I would prefer to really give him a check so that he doesn’t feel shocked when he looks at his bank account in the short run. We plan to look at rings on Saturday, so once we know the price, hopefully we’ll make a final decision on how to handle the payment.
Thanks to everyone for your feedback!
Post # 66
- Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK
Me and my SO make the same money but he has a little bit of debt left to pay off. We had already decided what a reasonable amount was for him to spend on a ring, but no matter how hard we looked nothing jumped out at us. In the end I found something that if we split the costs equally will be exactly the original budget for his half and I don’t mind paying the other half if I get to have the ring I’m going to wear for ever.
neither of us were against me paying a little extra to get what I would like 🙂
Post # 67
I personally wouldn’t want to help pay for my ring. I feel like that takes away from the “surprise” of it all. When my day comes I want zero idea of when, how, or where it will happen and I certainly don’t want to know the cost or design. Sometimes I feel like we can all get a little too involved in the engagement process and don’t know how to just sit back and enjoy waiting 🙂
Post # 68
No, but I would’ve been happy to (as I make a lot, a LOT more than my husband). He saved a long time–so much so that I never got my engagement ring until the night before the wedding. I thought it was a little unfair that I had to spend my entire engagement ringless when I could have easily afforded my own. In retrospect, though, I’m glad he got me the beautiful little ring he wanted to give me and I love it. That said, I will most likely finance my own upgrade when I’m ready.
Post # 69
@Mode: I think you paying the difference is totally fair. If you are both okay with it, go for it. Neither my Fiance or I were totally sold on engagement rings or marriage for that matter, but we broke it down like this: marriage is a symbol of our promise to commit to each other for life, and it will be a celebration of the love we have found with each other.
And then Fiance got amusingly traditional and insisted on buying me a lovely engagement ring – he sees it as a sign of committment, because he spent a large bit of change on it. Rings are pretty, whether you’re traditional or not 😉