(Closed) Did you hold out before the wedding??

posted 8 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Did you hold out? If so how long?

    Nope! Why bother?

    Yes. I cut him off before the wedding.

    I did cut him off from sex but took care of him in other ways.

    I cut him off for less than week before

    I cut him off for 1-2 weeks before the wedding

    I cut him off for more than 2 weeks

    We didn't have sex before marriage.

  • Post # 17
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We’ve been living together for years, so I’m cutting him off until the wedding (3 mo total). This will be the longest 3 months of our lives!!

    Wanted to make the wedding night extra special though 🙂 Or wedding morning, in case we just go to our room after the reception and pass out! Haha


    Post # 18
    4494 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @judybot:  3 months! Holy crap! It took A LOT of convincing but I talked Fiance into 3 weeks, lol.

    Post # 19
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @lanalnoco:  Yep, HE cut me off 2 MONTHS before the wedding! We broke down 2 weeks later though, so I guess we only had 6 weeks of pre-wedding celibacy. Still too much, in my opinion!

    Post # 20
    3354 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    View original reply
    @mirabell35:  very true. we were both virgins until 3 years into our relationship, and then after the “deed”, I was like …. that was the huge fuss? wtf I have more important things to worry about.

    no we didn’t hold out. we were doing it the day before! ahaha!

    Post # 21
    1193 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    View original reply
    @kendra389:  celibate =/= virgin. Celibate means you’re not a virgin but have decided to abstain from sex until you get married. 

    ETA: sorry I see this was cleared up. 

    Post # 22
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Absolutely not, I don’t understand the point. In my relationship, sex after not having it for awhile (like a week) is great, fun and fast, but that isn’t what I want for my wedding night. We will probably be having sex in the morning, since we are staying together the night before. If it happens on our wedding night then that is even better but I expect it will be romantic and intimate, not like frantic sex-starved sex that we have after too long apart.

    Obviously its different for everyone, but yeah..not for me.

    Post # 23
    1123 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My fiance and I stopped long before the wedding for spiritual reasons. Although there have been a couple slip ups since, but no actual sex and I intend to not have any more slip ups.

    Post # 24
    9948 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I didn’t vote…

    Nothing changed.  We had sex if we wanted to, we didn’t if it wasn’t a priority for us.  Neither of us made plans, worked out a schedule… or kept track of when it did happen in the time leading up to the Wedding. ???!

    I have to say as “the old broad” around here, I never understand all these topics obsessed with sexuality.

    It is just ONE MORE element of being human… and in a healthy relationship.

    It is a beautiful thing… but not an EXTRAORDINARY thing.

    People around the world have sex every day… there are people doing it somewhere every frickin second.

    I think that 

    View original reply
    mirabell35:  has a very mature outlook on it all considering she stated she was a Virgin when she married less than a year ago…

    It is fun, but what the heck is the big fuss about… there are far more important things in life !!

    Lol… As they say… stay calm, carry on.  As you were.


    Post # 25
    4581 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I can’t vote. We abstained for three months prior to our wedding night, but it was DH’s idea, not mine.

    Post # 26
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No – we didn’t.  It wasn’t that we couldn’t have had we wanted to but we really just didn’t see the point.  I personally don’t think it would have made our wedding night any more special.

    Hell – we even jumped each other after we got back from the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding (before going to our separate hotel rooms for the night).  One last hurrah before we were husband and wife!

    Post # 27
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013


    View original reply
    @MissComicBook:  We’re trying the same. We cheated a few times since getting engaged, but it’s helped that he’s been deployed for the past 4 months lol. It’ll be really tough when he gets back though, when he’s been surrounded by a bunch of men for so long and hasn’t seen me in just as long.

    Just gotta think:

    two more weeks, two more weeks, two more weeks!

    Post # 28
    637 posts
    Busy bee

    Sounds like the perfect way to have a 2min wedding night.

    Post # 29
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We stopped having sex for seven months before the wedding. We did everything except sex.

    Post # 31
    1090 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    @princesslettuce14:  haha agreed.

    I’m not married yet, but we won’t be abstaining before the wedding…what’s the point?

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