(Closed) Did you hope for one and get the other one?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 17
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@miss-spunkin: I wanted a boy, and I got a boy. I can assure you that little girls can be just as gross and dirty lol i grew up with only sisters so this is a fact darn it! also, girls have their own set of “issues” like that, such as being moody and dramatic and a bunch of other things. I was of the camp though (bottom line) that as long as i had a healthy baby I would manage. And even if i didnt i would manage but dont we all want our babies to come out healthy and happy? Also, as some PP’s have pointed out, you can have a daughter that wants no part of girly things and it can turn out to be just as much of a “new” thing for you as raising a son. Enjoy this time and try and remember that none of us truly know what we are doing in the beginning and its all a learning process no matter what gender you have πŸ™‚  btw congrats!

Post # 18
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Darling Husband and I both wanted a girl, and we got a boy. Now I’m thrilled we have a boy πŸ™‚

Post # 19
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It is quite common to want one and get another. I wanted girls and I got boys. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, but yes there were a few moments of disappointment with each pregnancy. You adjust and trite but true as long as they are healthy that really is all that matters. πŸ™‚

Post # 20
Member
9028 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry to hear you feel this way. I do know people who have had gender disspointment but it was different for them because they already had 3 boys and wanted a girl, and the last one turned out to be a boy too. Since this is my first baby  I just want it to be healthy, maybe I’ll care more about the gender next time around.

Post # 23
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Hun, you are not awful AT ALL! I think what you’re feeling is completely normal! It’s hard not to get your heart set on something and then it changes inside of 2 seconds when an u/s tech tells you “it’s a boy!” Time will change these feelings but please don’t think for a second that you’re a bad person.

Post # 25
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@miss-spunkin:  As you’re already discovering, there’s often a lot of unnecessary guilt that goes along with parenthood.  I think a lot of women don’t talk about gender disappointment because they feel others will think of them as selfish or a “bad” mom.  It’s totally normal, though, and definitely not anything to feel ashamed of.  πŸ™‚

Post # 26
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2001

I wanted a daughter so bad.  When the u/s tech said it was another boy when we were having our second, I cried.  Then I felt like a jerk because I cried!  A few years later I got preggo again, and I got my girl!  She was the first girl grandchild out of 8 grandkids!  I guess I just want to say that even though I didn’t get what I “wanted”, I was SO happy and LOVED my babies like no other.  Don’t worry, when you see that little face, you won’t remember you wanted anything other than a baby boy!

Post # 27
Member
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Quick story: I used to say I wanted a girl sooo badly. Then I realized that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be as my little sister ages…she’s SO girly, it’s almost disappointing. She won’t ride her bike, she doesn’t like to be dirty, and she doesn’t play outside. Nothing there I could really relate to. So now I’ve started to become indifferent and figure, no matter what I get (if I get one), they will be their own little person and will surprise me every day. πŸ™‚ That being said, my youngest sister is 7, so I feel more like her aunt than her big sister most days. I know it’s different, but just the knowledge of HOW girly one can be is kind of overwhelming. Can you say pink princess and manicures? Lol.

I think what you are feeling is totally normal. I don’t know of all that many people IRL who DIDN’T have a preference, or at least some vision of their future kid. It doesn’t change their happiness or excitement if it’s not the gender they pictured, it just means that their view of the little one in question changes a bit. πŸ™‚ Good luck and congrats!

Oh, and one of my brothers has a very interesting personality. He likes to shop (and dress well), he likes to read, he likes to talk things out…but he’s captain of the soccer team, plays video games, and plays outside all the time. So who knows. πŸ™‚

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